tranquilize
by keem
Summary: Unfortunately, not every story has a happy ending. But in time, they would all eventually heal, and the world would be right again. shadamy-sonamy.
1. but tonight this engine's failing

**tranquilize**

There was something about him that piqued her curiosity, entranced her, drew her to him; some element of danger, perhaps, or mystique, that first sparked her crush. The others complained of his renegade behavior, warned her that he was more villain than hero; that his loyalties could turn at the drop of a hat. The fact that he referred to Eggman as the 'good Doctor' was indication enough; his neither like nor dislike of the technological tyrant should've sent off warning sirens in her head. He was unpredictable, uncontained, potentially lethal, they had said. But she couldn't help but remember his self-sacrifice for the greater good back during the whole Biolizard episode; she remember watching him die, regarding him not as an anti-hero but a tragic figure, someone who should be mourned and pitied. After all, his acts of evil had been only because he was trying to get revenge for Maria - he had been doing it all for _love, _and that was beautiful. Although perhaps his methods and reasoning were a bit twisted, Amy found it all unusually romantic, in its way. She liked him, thought highly of him.

Even if he had tried to kill her boyfriend. Twice.

Maybe that was another thing that charmed her; well, not the fact that he had tried to _kill _Sonic, but just how incredibly and utterly unlike Sonic he was. The two were polar opposites - Sonic was cheery and bright, an eternal optimist, and a protagonist through and through, always striving for the greater good. Shadow was shadier, stoic and guarded, sometimes brutal; not quite an antagonist, maybe, but definitely not a brilliant ray of sunshine like his blue-quilled counterpart. Sonic and Shadow respected one another, but there was also mutual dislike between them; they would occasionally form an alliance together if deemed necessary, but they would never simply just 'hang out.' (Then again, this was something Sonic's _other_ friendly nemesis, Knuckles, also swore he'd never do, but Amy saw him with increasing frequency as the years went on.)

Their paths rarely crossed; when they did, she was usually accompanied with Sonic and the others, and Sonic did most of the talking. Still, she couldn't help but find herself admiring his physique, listening the deep rumble of his voice; she was always struck by how calm and unconcerned no matter what the circumstance was. The world could be on the brink of destruction, millions of lives could be at stake, and Shadow himself could be at risk of total annihilation, and he would hardly bat an eye. He took everything in stride, and Amy found his unruffled persona commendable at first. It wasn't until he had helped Sonic save the world for a second time that she realized she was watching him with a hard, blazing look - that she had developed a crush of such magnitude that it rivaled her one for Sonic.

And so, Sonic had gotten himself a rival, in the form of his adversary and fellow hedgehog, Shadow.

She had not confided her love interest to anyone, but she must have been painfully obvious, because the others seemed to have picked up on this curious infatuation as well. One day in the ice-cream shop in Station Square Tails had cornered her, after he caught her reading a blurb about Shadow in _People's_ Magazine.

"He's bad news, Amy," the little fox told her, causing her to choke on her scoop of Double Chocolate Chip. "If Sonic thinks he's bad news, he's _bad news_." And he glared at her, as if Sonic's word was law. Although Amy had been completely mortified, the comment had stung her. Just what did Sonic know? Not everything was so black-and-white, so distinctively good, or evil. There was a middle ground, a grey area, and that was the path in which Shadow walked. That didn't necessarily make him a bad guy, didn't they understand that?

But she found that she couldn't properly defend herself, in fear that Tails would take her defense up with Sonic himself.

Knuckles, on the other hand, seemed deeply entertained by the notion of a potential Shadow-Amy love affair. "You should do it," he told her unexpectedly one day, after the whole Sonic Heroes fiasco.

"Do what?" she asked him, genuinely confused.

"Go out with him," Knuckles said, and jabbed a finger at the headline in the Newspaper stand Amy had been browsing. She had been caught admiring him - again. She could've cried. "It would really piss Sonic off." He threw her an uncharacteristic wink and abruptly sauntered off, chuckling.

For a minute, Amy had hated him. Later, she almost considered it. Then she told herself she was being silly.

And so, she continued to admire him from afar, to fantasize about what could have been, but never would be. She toyed with the idea in her head, imagined how it would play out - but never actively pursued it, or sought him out in general. Sonic, thankfully, seemed to be the only one blissfully unaware - Amy wasn't sure why Tails hadn't ratted her out to her beloved Hero, but was thankful none-the-less. Meanwhile, Amy tried to resist the urge to go out of her way to talk to Shadow - which was easy, since she rarely saw him other than in snippets of Newspapers or magazine articles, or catching a glimpse of him on TV.

And this was the way it was for a very long time, until something very unexpected happened to her on an otherwise perfectly normal Tuesday night.

She had gotten a midnight craving for ice-cream, something so undeniably delicious that she had to satisfy the craving. So she had headed over to the local Supermarket that was open twenty-four hours a day. She didn't worry about going out so late - Station Square had been peaceful and virtually crime-less since Perfect Chaos' destruction, and even if danger did come looking for her, Amy Rose never came unprepared - her pico pico hammer was stuffed down the front of her dress, toy-sized, lying in wait until its mistress needed it next.

Amy was a firm believer that there were no coincidences, no such thing as happenstance - perhaps that's why she had such an insatiable desire to go out for ice cream during the wee hours of the morning. After she had gotten a gallon worth of Vanilla and some chocolate syrup and 

bananas on top, she headed out back toward her apartment. She was about half-way home when she saw it - a flicker of red amongst the shadows, something darting into the alleyway.

At first she thought it was a cat, but she heard coughing, and the undeniable sound of someone retching their guts out. Curiosity got the best of her, and she stopped between the two buildings, peering into the looming darkness.

"Hello?" she called, and she heard coughing again. "Are you okay?"

"Leave me alone," came a weak voice.

"Do you need me to get you some help?" Amy asked concernedly, and she took a step forward. Immediately there was a commotion of failed movement; whoever it was, they were clutching the side of a dumpster, having apparently tried unsuccessfully to retreat into the encroaching darkness that lead further back into the alleyway. This failed attempt had left him bent over at the waist, one hand grabbing the metal frame of the trash can while the other clutched his stomach.

"Leave me alone!" he heaved.

"Are you sick? Did someone hurt you?" Amy asked, and as she drew nearer, she immediately recognized the familiar posture, the upturned quills streaked with scarlet. "Shadow?"

"I said go away," he said, and he looked up, brilliant red optics locking with bright green ones. There was something very much like hatred there, which unnerved her, but there was something very, very wrong here and he wasn't in his right mind; he very obviously needed help.

Amy crossed the threshold between them, "Shadow, I think we need to get you to a hospital."

"I don't need to go anywhere. I just want you to go away!" he said, and as she reached out to touch him, he let go of the trashcan and spun to meet her. He went to push her, to strike her, to do something but his strength failed him and he fell forwards, collapsing in her arms.

"Shadow!" she cried as he fell against her, causing her to nearly lose her balance. He was heavy, a dead weight in her skinny arms, and she realized that he had fallen unconscious. "Shadow!" she said again, fearful for his safety, and began to drag him out of the alleyway, towards the nearest shop so that she could call an ambulance.


	2. and it don't stop dragging me down

"Amy?" came a voice from behind her. "I'm sorry, I came as soon as I could." The pink hedgehog in question turned her head to acknowledge the visitor and saw that it was Sonic, hands gripping either side of the doorway as he leaned in. He gave her a sad little half-smile as she inclined her head in his direction, a look of genuine concern on his face. "How are you feeling?" he inquired, as if it was she who was laying there in the hospital bed, tubes overlapping as they went in and out of her body, instead of Shadow.

"I've been better," she admitted.

"I'll bet," he said, and, taking this as an invitation to come inside, crossed the room to be beside her. He pulled up a chair next to her own and sat down, following her gaze back to the onyx-colored hedgehog. "How's he holding up?"

"I don't really know," Amy said, and they both watched him in silence for a moment. Shadow's breath was harsh and irregular, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as beads of sweat poured down his face. Every once in a while a muscle in his arm or leg would twitch and he would spasm violently. The sudden restlessness of his movements seemed to startle Sonic, but Amy was unperturbed. She had grown accustomed to such erratic behavior after spending the past hour with him. It was clear he was in agony.

"I guess we'll get to hear all about it when he wakes up, huh?" Sonic mused, resting his elbows on his knees. He seemed to think he was taking over watch-duty for Amy, who had been keeping constant vigil over his bedside since he had been admitted.

"_If _he wakes up."

"Amy," Sonic said, and when she turned to face him, he tapped the end of her nose with his index finger. "_When_ he wakes up," he said again, as if him saying it automatically made it the truth. "What did the doctors say?"

"He's got some foreign substance pumping through his veins. Whatever it is, his body is rejecting it."

"What? Like poison? Do you think someone poisoned him?" Amy sighed deeply.

"They don't know yet. They have to run some diagnostics. Whatever it is, it's making him, really, really sick." And then she proceeded to tell him the story of how she had found Shadow a few hours prior. Sonic listened to the whole thing without interrupting, although he seems to grow increasingly more worried as she went on. After she had finished he still didn't say anything, seeming to mull the entire rendition over in his head. Then he said, a little cautiously, "well, I think we can rule out the whole poison thing."

Amy regarded Sonic curiously. "What makes you think that?"

Sonic looked reluctant to continue. Instead of finishing his statement, he picked up a purple dish on Shadow's bedside table, busily examining that instead. "What the heck is this?" he asked, mostly to himself than to Amy.

"That's a bedpan."

Sonic looked stricken. He tossed it away from himself as if it was already contaminated, watching dispassionately as it clattered on the floor. "Well, isn't that just spectacular," he muttered to himself.

"It hasn't even been used yet," Amy snapped, feeling annoyed. "And don't change the subject. What were you going to say?"

"Well... I was just thinking, you'd think if he was poisoned then he'd let you help him. I mean, he would obviously know something was wrong and he needed to go to the hospital."

"Maybe he thought he could handle it himself."

"Maybe." Sonic still looked deeply troubled.

"Well, what do _you_ think it could be?"

It took Sonic a moment to respond. "Maybe he did it to himself," he murmured finally.

Amy was watching him with wide-eyes now, clearly alarmed. "Like an overdose?"

"Maybe. Maybe it was an accident," Sonic said, and he appeared to be choosing his words carefully, as not to startle the other hedgehog. "Or maybe it was on purpose."

"Sonic!"

The blue hero held up his hands in defense. "Look, I'm not sayin' it because that's what I want it to be, Amy. I'm sayin' that might be what it actually is."

"But.. Are you serious? Just.. no way."

"It's just a theory," Sonic admitted. "But we can't really rule anything out at this point, right? We don't know. I'm just speculating." He frowned, stroking his chin. "It just strikes me as weird, that he would be so hostile toward you when you were just trying to help..."

"Well, maybe because he doesn't really know me! He's a loner, Sonic, he's been locked up and having to deal with amnesia so I think maybe it would be a bit understandable that he's mistrustful!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, Amy," Sonic said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "No need to get all excited now." She realized she was standing over him, hands out in front of her, as if he had 

interrupted her in mid-gesture. She was acutely aware of how loud she had been, how the nurses out in the hall must've heard her; as if on cue, there was one in the doorway, hypodermic needle in hand, ready to subdue if necessary. When she saw it was just Amy, however, she murmured something that might have been an apology, or what might have been a warning, before she left again. Amy immediately sat down.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"It's okay," Sonic said, and she could tell that he meant it. "I know you're upset. Kinda funny, huh? Earlier I was tryin' to get you to be optimistic. Now I'm the negative one." She started to speak again, but he cut across her. "I told you, this is all hypothetical. I was just wondering." Amy was afraid of what he was telling her, feeling very much like she was about to cry.

"It's okay, Amy," Sonic said again as he draped an arm across her shoulder, pulling her against him in a sideways hug. She nestled into the crook of his armpit and he kept her there, his fingers rubbing in a soothing, circular motion along her arm. "That's why I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to get you all riled up. I knew you wouldn't want to hear it."

"Well, now you've got to finish," Amy said stubbornly, feeling as if she was slightly more in control now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Sonic took a deep breath. "Well, I was just saying that maybe it's been hard on him recently." He sighed. "The whole Maria thing. I mean, when we first met him he was hell-bent on revenge, remember? He thought that's what she had wanted; he felt that was what he needed to do. It was how he managed. Then he realized what she really wanted from him--that she wanted him to continue on, to help save humanity instead of destroy it. So he found solace in that; he could endure with her memory carrying him." This was an alarmingly complex and morbid thought coming from Sonic, but he seemed to enjoy playing psychiatrist, so she let him carry on.

"But then he fell from orbit, right? Got his head all banged up. Woke up with amnesia. So eventually he has to re-learn everything, to pick up bits and pieces from his past. And then he learns about Maria, and it's like the first time all over again, like it just happened, and - bam - it _hurts_, right here." With his free hand he tapped himself on the chest, right where his heart was. "Maybe he doesn't know how to cope, this time around. As the old Shadow, he relied so long on hatred and anger to help him deal with his loss, because he had someone to blame. But now, he has to re-live the experience, but he doesn't have that same form of therapy. So maybe he thought self-destruction was his answer."

Amy was simultaneously impressed and disturbed by Sonic's theorizing. She tilted her head up to see that he was looking down upon her, seeing how she'd react.

"I talked to him once, after the whole thing with Metal Madness," Sonic said, seeing her look. "He seemed a little cut up about it."

"He actually _said_ that to you?" she asked incredulously. From what Amy had gathered, Shadow wasn't the talkative type; she found the mere notion of him confiding in anyone - Sonic least of all - a little mind-boggling. "That that's how he felt? He said that?"

"Maybe not in so many words," Sonic shrugged. "But I understood. He loved her, after all."

"But this has been happening for a while now. He's must've known for a few months. What made him decide to do this to himself all of a sudden?"

"Well, we don't really know if that's the case," Sonic reminded her, "But for all intents and purposes, I would say that it's been bothering him for a while; it's probably been slowly building up inside of him and tonight it reached a crescendo and he couldn't take it anymore. Maybe he just snapped." As an afterthought, he mused, "maybe he just now got the nerve."

"Sonic!"

"Sorry, Amy," he said. "Anyway, I hope I'm wrong. But what you've told me really, really bothers me." His eyebrows were furrowed now and he stared off into the distance, eyes focused on nothing as he seemed to internally continue to analyze the situation. Amy returned her focus to Shadow, a new kind of fear clawing at her insides, making her feel queasy. She fidgeted beneath Sonic's half-embrace, suddenly restless and frightened.

"Amy?" Sonic said. "Maybe you should go home and get some sleep."

She gave a brittle laugh and disengaged herself from his arms. "Get real, Sonic," she scoffed. "After all that? There's no way."

"He can't off himself if he's unconscious," Sonic said simply.

"Sonic! That's terrible!"

"Look, I'll play watchdog," he said, waving her off. "Go get some rest. Seriously, no offense, but you look kinda bad. Like you've aged ten years in one night."

"I do not look like a grandma!" she exclaimed, indignant. He was smiling at her, and she knew that he was trying to get a rise out of her on purpose; trying to remove her from the situation, to lighten the mood. It almost half-way worked, but the sterile smell of the hospital room would not let her escape - she was trapped in the moment, suspended here, with an acquaintance who lingered in the delicate balance between life and death.

"Of course not," Sonic continued. "You'd be one of the youngest grandmas I ever saw. Seriously, having grandkids at thirty?" He shook his head in disbelief, that half-simper still playing on his lips, but when he saw that Amy clearly wasn't happy his face fell.

"Sonic," she whispered, "I can't just leave him."

"Amy," Sonic said, and he gathered both of her dainty hands in one of his large, oversized one. "Nothing bad will happen," he said, and their eyes met; in his, there was all the sincerity of the world. It was a heart-stopping moment. "I promise." And she could not help but believe him, because he was Sonic, and he would never hurt her, or betray her trust. He would always be dependable.

"Promise me you'll call me the moment he wakes up."

Sonic made a face. "Duh, Amy."

"Promise me!"

Sonic grinned. "I promise, Amy. Don't get all crazy on me, now."

"_Pinky_-promise me." She held up her right hand, extending her pinky before her.

"The most sacred of promises." Sonic said sarcastically, although he looked deeply amused. "Alright," he agreed, and he extended his own hand, allowing their pinky-fingers to interlock. "Now get out of here." He made a shooing motion and she nodded, gathering up her things and walking away. She hesitated at the doorway, unable to help lingering, turning around so that she could take one last glance in Shadow's direction.

"Amy!"

"Alright, I'm going!" she said, and he picked up the bedpan and threw it at her; she had to duck and dart away, him laughing at her as she went scurrying into the hall.

* * *

She couldn't sleep. She couldn't even close her eyes. Her entire body felt like it was pumped with juice, muscles taut, blood pounding in her ears. She paced the floor of her apartment, the images of his prone form haunting her well into the early hours of the morning. Dawn was fast approaching, she realized some time later, and abandoned any hopes of getting some rest altogether. She sat down in the living room and turned on the TV, idly flipping through the channels. Her mind was buzzing with rampant thoughts, unable to concentrate on anything, so she gave up on trying to distract herself from the present situation as well. She sighed and put her head in her hands, closing her eyes.

_I should probably eat something_, she thought to herself, some time later. Funny, she had never felt less hungry in her whole life. Still, dinner had been hours ago, and she had not ever gotten around to her midnight snack...

She didn't feel like cooking at home; here in the confinements of her apartment, she felt like she was suffocating. She decided that some cold air would do her good, and she gathered her purse, 

heading out into the world outside as the sun began to crest over the buildings beyond. It was crisp and cool outside, completely cloudless - it was going to be a beautiful day, she thought bitterly, and the perfection of it seemed to mock Shadow's predicament.

Sonic's words seemed to plague her as she walked down the streets of the city. At first, she had dismissed the idea of a suicidal Shadow as sheer insanity; however, the longer she thought about it, the more it seemed plausible. It made her increasingly nervous as time dragged on, and she had to resist the urge to turn and run in the opposite direction, back towards the hospital.

_How could anyone want to kill themselves? _Amy thought as she entered one of the local diners. She tried to imagine the despair Shadow must feel, tried to replicate that emptiness of impossible magnitude. She couldn't even begin to fathom what it was like, to have fallen that far. Amy had always been happy, bright-eyed, alive with wonder and awe with the world - she couldn't see how anyone would want to rid themselves of it. Her and Shadow were just too unlike, she guessed; she could never possibly understand where he was coming from. And his life had been wrought with tragedy, unspeakable sadness, bearing the weight of the world alone - she had always been privileged, well-bred and surrounded with lots of friends. They came from two different worlds, with two different experiences; Shadow had been given a bad hand in Life, whereas Amy had been gifted with a Full House. The contrast could not have been more startling.

_I'm going to help him_, she decided feverishly, as she ordered the daily special._ I'm going to show him what life really is all about._

The determination brought about some quiet comfort to Amy, and she found the nerve to eat. There was no question as to _if _she could rehabilitate him when he awoke; there was simply the will to do so, and she knew that she would. Because he needed her.

She had nearly cleared her plate when her cell phone chirped. She rummaged around in her bag until she found it, bubble-gum pink and encrusted with crystals. She flipped it open and pressed it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Amy, its Sonic," came the familiar voice of her hero. Her heart skipped a beat. "He's awake."

She was already half-way out the door.


	3. but its been getting to me all this time

The hospital was bustling with activity, Amy saw, as she came through the automatic sliding glass doors with a faint _whoosh_. She observed patients being pushed about in wheelchairs by nurses toward the front door, ready to leave the ward and go home to their families; visitors carrying stuffed toys and balloons to bring upstairs to their loved ones; and florists making deliveries, their arms filled with brilliant, many-colored bouquets. Everyone was simply milling about, almost charming and good-natured, on the first floor. There were no emergencies, no wounded people being rushed through the front doors on a gurney; nobody who was sick or ailing, teetering dangerously between life and death. There was only life here, the strong and the young, and some of the weak already embarked on the road to recovery. There was no sadness, no loss; just business as usual with the doctors, and concerned family and friends waiting to be reunited with their loved ones. Amy found the almost pleasant atmosphere to be infectious; Shadow was awake, she thought happily; Shadow was _alive_, and breathing, and soon he would be just like these people, up and milling around, ready to go home. It was as if the whole world had opened up and bloomed, like a many-lipped flower, bright and alive and new. She made her way past the lobby and down to the hallway, catching an elevator with two doctors who kept the door from closing on her.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome," one of them said, smiling at her, and then he turned to his co-worker and spoke, evidently picking up where they left. The elevator jerked into motion, chiming every time it passed a floor. "--And so apparently he'd been screaming and carrying on ever since he woke up, demanding to be released--"

"What're they going to do, sedate him?" the other doctor asked.

"Well, I know a few minutes ago they sent up some orderlies to subdue him, but if he carries on like that..."

The practitioner nodded as the elevator came to a halt. A bell dinged and the doors swept open, and immediately Amy knew something was wrong. She could hear the sound of someone yelling, and saw two burly men in white uniforms went streaking fast, alarmingly fast for their enormous size. Amy hesitated.

"This your floor?" one of the doctors asked her. "What room?"

Amy looked back at him, chewing her lip. "13B."

"Oh. I see." His face was deeply sympathetic as she made her exit, walking down the hallway past the nurse's station, towards the direction of all the noise.

It grew steadily louder until she found herself standing just outside of the room, where the two huge men disappeared inside. Sonic was waiting out in the hall, flanked by Knuckles and Tails. The blue hedgehog was covering his ears with both of his hands while Knuckles had his arms folded over his chest, looking simultaneously grim and annoyed. Tails seemed downright terrified, his tails flicking back and forth anxiously as Shadow continued to scream 

unintelligibly. "What the heck is going on?" Amy asked, covering her own ears as she came within close proximity to the source of all of the ruckus. Sonic ignored her, too absorbed in blocking out the sound himself. Knuckles and Tails noticed her, however, and the gruff echidna shook Sonic roughly by the shoulders. Sonic threw him a filthy look but then Knuckles pointed at Amy and Sonic followed his gesture, finally taking notice of her. He jumped in surprise. "Amy!" he called to her over the dull roar of all of the commotion. Amy uncovered her ears and could hear scuffling on the other side of the wall; apparently the orderlies were doing their best to get a handle on Shadow.

"I'm glad you're here," the other hedgehog said earnestly as he came closer. Then he put his arm around Amy and abruptly started steering her toward the door. "He wants to see you."

Amy dug her heels into the ground, trying to brake. "Are you crazy?" she asked, startled. "He sounds like he's on a _rampage_. I don't want to go in there!"

"C'mon, Amy, you think I'd let him hurt you?" Sonic asked her, raising his eyebrows. He looked almost offended. "I'm just thinking maybe he'll shut up if you talk to him."

Sonic was right; her entrance seemed to immediately have the desired effect. She saw four orderlies in the room, clustered about his bed, each one holding onto a limb while a nurse stood in the corner, arming herself with a hypodermic needle. At the sight of Amy Rose, however, Shadow went limp in their grasp; her presence seemed to work as a depressant, sucking all the energy out of him. "So this is the girl to whom I owe my life to?" Shadow asked, and the look that he gave her was filled with disgust. The malevolent gaze that fixed on her contained such loathing that it made her freeze in the doorway. Sonic nudged her gently as she came forward again, the blue hedgehog and his companions stepping in beside him. His onyx counterpart was calm and still, although his eyes flashed in danger.

"I think we can handle it from here," Sonic told the remaining occupants of the room. The orderlies released him but did not immediately leave, instead turning to the nurse for instruction.

"Sonic," said the nurse, a pretty, delicate looking blond. "I'm not sure that's advisable--"

"Trust me, we're much more better-equipped at handling him than you," Sonic told her, although he looked deeply apologetic. "No offense."

The nurse nodded, although she still looked weary at the prospect of leaving them alone together. "Just call for me if you need any... err, assistance, Mr. Sonic," she said, gesturing to the needle in her hand as she began to herd the orderlies toward the door.

"No problem," Sonic said, waving her off as they left the room completely, shutting the door to him. He immediately rounded on the other hedgehog, who was regarding him with the utmost contempt. "So, do you mind telling us what the heck is going on with you?" he demanded, and waved a stack of papers that Amy only just realized that he was holding.

"What's that?" Amy asked.

"The tests came back," Sonic told her, but his eyes remained trained upon Shadow. "I was right." He did not further elaborate, and Amy wasn't sure she wanted to know all the specifics anyway.

"I am the Ultimate Lifeform, hedgehog," Shadow snarled, still managing to look intimidating when he was sitting in a hospital bed. Either the nurse had removed his life-support or he had ripped it out himself; his arms were bleeding where the tubes had been inserted into his wrists. "Surely you don't think you and your motley crew can restrain me by yourselves." Amy saw that he was gloveless, and imagined his shoes must have been removed, as well. That explained why Shadow had not yet made a dash for the exit.

"I beat you in the forest, and then again back in Ark," Sonic said matter-of-factly. "I could do it again, should I be so inclined."

"It was only stupid luck that you have managed to overcome me in the past," Shadow snarled. "I am wiser now, and stronger. I will not make the same mistakes again!"

"Whatever, Shadow," Sonic scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. "If you want to die so badly, why not go toe-to-toe with me? You could go out in _style_."

"I'm well aware of your beloved heroism, Sonic. You would never kill me. You don't have the strength to do it."

"You see it as a character flaw; I see it as my defining trait." He shrugged and pointed at the scarlet echidna next to him. "Knuckles, then. He has no qualms about killing people, dontcha Knuckles?"

"That's right, Sonic," the echidna cackled, slamming a mighty fight into his open palm.

"I would never put myself at the mercy of another creature, especially the likes of some stinking echidna," Shadow raged, his nostrils flaring at the mere suggestion. "Someone who is not fit to lick the ground that I walk on, someone who never could be my equal--"

"You wanted to die with dignity, then?" Sonic shot back, as the scarlet Guardian bristled at the insult. "Ha! Don't make me laugh! You're pathetic, Shadow. You just wanted to die by yourself, alone in some nasty alleyway. You wanted to take some pills, because you're a wuss. I can't believe this, the Ultimate Lifeform, a coward--"

Shadow's tone turned frosty. "Don't you ever," he snarled, "call me a coward—"

"That's what you are, though! A worthless coward who couldn't even off himself! You didn't even try very hard, did you? Staggering around in the dark, it's like you _wanted_ someone to come and find you..."

_Maybe it was a cry for help._ Amy pondered this notion, but the conversation had gone too far, and she could not listen to them any longer.

"Stop!" Amy cried, having reached her limit. "Enough! No one is going to die today! I can't believe you'd even talk that way, Sonic," she said, turning to him in anguish. The other hedgehog's expression softened, and he reached out to touch her shoulder, but she drew away, instead turning to plead with the black hedgehog.

"Shadow--"

"I have a question for you," Shadow said abruptly, cutting across her. "Did you think you were doing me a favor?"

"Shadow." Amy took a deep breath, preparing herself. She looked at him tenderly and began, "You have so much to live for..."

"Really? Please enlighten me," the other hedgehog spat venomously. "I am decades old, girl - ancient, impossibly old for my breed; did it ever occur to you, for even a _moment_, that I had lived long enough?" Amy's mouth snapped shut. The thought hadn't occurred to her at all. "Do you have any idea what it's like, to watch people to come and go, to watch the world leave you behind? Seasons change, people grow old, and yet I remain untouched! Everlasting, unable to be undone by age... it is my curse!" He dug his palms into his eyes as they fluttered close, gasping with breath; for a minute, Amy thought with a pang of sympathy, that he was crying - when he opened his eyes again, however, they were dry.

"You are naiive, girl; you are young yet, but even still, you could never grow as wise as I am. I have lived for a long time, far longer than anyone should. You will age, you will grow tired and brittle and then you will be dead, and your body will be dust. My body will never become that; I will never suffer from sickness and failing organs and wrinkles. I will always be like this, suspended in this moment, unless I help myself along. Do you have any idea what that's like?" Amy was as white as a sheet, and words failed her completely. "If anything, I envy you, girl. I envy the fact that you will know such things as change; that you will wilt and rust and you will know an ending, just through the natural order of things. Even if Maria were still alive - " Here, finally, Shadow seemed to have lost his momentum - he began to stumble over his words, unable to articulate himself. "Even if Maria didn't - even if she hadn't - if things had hadn't - even if she lived, I would still outlast her. I will outlast _everyone_, if I don't do something!"

Shadow was panting, chest heaving with every breath that he took. His eyes flashed blood-red as he glared at her, making him appear quite deranged with his outburst. "You think you are so noble," he told her. "You and your blatant heroism. Did you actually think you were saving me? Did you think I would thank you? It is not your place to play God, Amy Rose," the way he said her name made her shiver. "Not with my life or anyone else's."

"Play God?" Sonic spoke up from beside her. "Is that what you call it? Helping others? She wasn't the one playing roulette with her life, Shadow - _you_ were. There were certainly surer ways of doing it; faster ways, ways to do it where it was quick and effortlessly. You could've isolated yourself more completely. Doing it in the alleyway of a crowded city isn't exactly what I would call secluded." He was looking at Shadow with a kind of blazing dislike that mirrored Shadow's own for Amy. "You decided to play a game. A game of numbers. And chance worked in the 

favor of continued existence. So here we all are." He gestured to everyone within the room, including himself and Shadow. "So let's put it behind us, and why don't we get you enrolled in some freakin' therapy or something?"

The room went quiet as the two glared at each other. Amy looked down at the ground, feeling her eyes sting with hot tears. She felt Sonic slide an arm around her, pulling him against him, but she twisted away. "Never-mind Sonic, maybe he's right."

"Look at that, jerk," Sonic told the elder beast angrily. "You made her cry!"

"And I'm sure all of the world's sadness is captivated in her salty, wretched tears," Shadow said blandly. "She will never know true despair, blue hedgehog. Nor will you."

There was a blur of movement and suddenly Knuckles had seized Sonic around the middle. It was obvious he had been in mid-jump before the echidna had grabbed him, ready to launch himself on top of the other hedgehog. "Let me go, Knucklehead!" Sonic shouted, legs and arms flailing as he thrashed about in an attempt to get loose. Tails looked anxiously between the two, as if unsure what to do.

"It would kind of defeat the purpose if you killed him now after the hospice nurses worked so hard to save him," the echidna said dryly. He seemed completely at ease; clearly, holding a sixty-pound hedgehog was practically effortless to him. The absurdity of their interaction was almost amusing.

"Aw, who gives a crap! Let me at him!" Sonic hollered, still trying to wiggle loose. "What do you care, anyway?"

"I don't," the red echidna told him simply, "but Amy obviously does." And he promptly dropped Sonic right on his backside.

The hero leaped to his feet, eyes fixated on Amy. She deliberately did not meet his gaze - she couldn't. She simply kept looking at the ground, trying her best not to lose her composure completely. "Aw, Amy," came Sonic's voice beside her, but she dare not look at him. "I wouldn't really kill him. I'd just break a bone or two. Or ten."

Despite herself, she giggled. Then, a little bleary-eyed, she found the courage to meet Shadow's gaze again. "I don't believe you," she said, and her voice was hoarse with tears and lack of use. "If you had really had nothing to live for, you would've opted for a surer way out. It's like Sonic said. You decided to play roulette and see where you ended up.Well, you ended up here." The intensity of his eyes were powerful, and she had to fight the urge to look away. "I can help you, Shadow. I know you're probably lonely... and sad... and I've been there before, too. But together, we can move past it."

"It's not the same," Shadow told her quietly. "You would never understand."

"I could never pretend to fully understand it," Amy told him earnestly. "Just as you could never fully understand me. But that doesn't mean that I wont try. And that doesn't mean that I'm just going to give you up as a lost cause, and stop caring. Life - it's not just about pain and loss, Shadow. It's about LIFE. Maybe the reason you're sad is because you didn't really _live_." The Ultimate Lifeform gave her a highly skeptical look, but she pressed on. "I mean a life of substance, Shadow. You've always just kind of skated about, doing your own thing. But maybe if you did something fulfilling - something worth_ doing_ - your perspective would change. It's not supposed to be about despair... it's supposed to be about... about, well, friends and love and helping others and ... uhm, really good ice-cream and slumber-parties..."

Meanwhile, Knuckles was wearing a faintly amused look before Tails chimed in excitedly, "Yeah! Amy's right, Shadow! The little things really end up counting, in the end!"

"That's right, little buddy," Sonic said, nodding in assent. Amy gave a small smile.

"You have to take enjoyment out of the little pleasures in life," she admitted. "But the big stuff is important too. So you have to find yourself some big stuff and find out what it's all about. You need direction; you need something worth striving for. And I'm going to help you find your thing - your reason for living." She ended the whole thing with a great gasp of air, having expelled all of her energy in putting her heart and soul into the speech. The black hedgehog's expression was unreadable, but Amy could see that her words had not gone completely unheard.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, Shadow."

"... But it fell in a day," the other hedgehog reminded her darkly.

"--I know it still hurts," she continued kindly, as if she hadn't heard him. "I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't take time. But, well," she smiled sadly. "Time is on your side, isn't it"  
Shadow was watching her with the most utterly bewildered expression, as if he was just now getting a good look at her. "Who are you?" he asked her.

Amy couldn't help but laugh, but before she could properly answer him, she was distracted by screaming in the hallway. Then an all-too-familiar voice answered for her, "She is a meddlesome pest, Shadow, and you'd do best without her."

"Eggman!" Sonic said, falling down into a defensive stance. Meanwhile, Tails' ears flattened against his head, bearing his teeth as Knuckles lifted his enormous fists. The doctor chortled amusedly at the sight of all of them as he came into the room, flanked by dozens of robot minions.

"Ah, and we have a full intervention going on here, I see," the oversized mad scientist said. "How charming." Immediately Sonic and the others were targeted by robots armed with heat-seeking mini-missiles and other various long-range devices.

"How'd you know what was going on?" Amy asked, confused.

"I _do_ watch the news, you know," Eggman told her coolly. "Seems like Shadow's attempted suicide made quite a stir amongst the press."

Amy and Sonic exchanged worried glances. Sonic shook his head, clenching his fists. "Whatever, Eggman! Cut to the chase! What do you want?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" He threw back his head and gave a great guffaw. "Why, I couldn't let Shadow simply kill himself, you know. The Ultimate Lifeform, go to waste? Why, I couldn't possibly bear the thought! So I'm here to, ah, help him _rehabilitate_."

"Yeah right, Eggman," Sonic scoffed. "You can't have him! I know you're just up to one of your schemes!"

"This decision really isn't really up to you, is it?" Eggman shrugged and at last turned to gaze at Shadow. The hedgehog was sitting up in bed, arms folded across his furry chest. "So what do you say, Shadow? Why don't we take a walk?" He gestured vaguely out into the hall behind him.

"What, with a full battalion?" Shadow inquired wryly, and he didn't budge. "Persuade me, Eggman. Why should I waste my time with the likes of you? Make it worth my while."

"Oh, I will!" The doctor said, with another great laugh. "Once you hear what I have to offer, you'll be very interested to hear what I have to say, indeed!" Shadow still did not look convinced, the evil genius added, "It concerns your beloved Maria."

The black hedgehog perked up immediately. "Ah, I see I've piqued your interest," the doctor said, smirking at him. "So you're in, I take it? How about we... as they say, ditch this popsicle stand." He turned to one of his robots behind him and retrieved something, then threw at Shadow. It took a moment for Amy to realize that it was his shoes. Shadow was already half-way through putting them on.

"Au revoir, pests!" Eggman said jovially as Shadow leapt out of bed, moving so that he could stand beside him. The doctor's eyes flickered between the three heroes, then came over and settled on Amy for a moment. Then unexpectedly, he said, "On second thought, let's bring the girl too."

"What!" Sonic said, jumping forward as Amy was seized around her middle by one of the robots in the room. It tucked her under its mechanical arm as she squirmed, trying to get loose in vain. She heard a gun go off and screamed - but it didn't matter, because Sonic was already in motion. Suddenly several more guns went off less than a second later but they all scattered, Sonic and the others flinging themselves at the robots and knocking them over like bowling pins as bullets ricocheted off the walls and furniture.

"Make Swiss cheese out of them!" Eggman commanded as he ran for the exit, Shadow and the robot carrying Amy racing off after him. She looked hopelessly back to the hospital room, watching as three respective blurs zigzagged around, dodging weaponry and dishing out brutal attacks of their own. Sonic landed on his feet, fresh from a sonic-spin, and reached out to her.

"Amyyy!" but he never made it past the threshold of the room because another robot blocked the exit. He gave a scream of rage and then there was a loud clang as razor-sharp spines met metal; Sonic was on the move again. Amy saw all of that and more - she also saw the frightened faces of the hospice staff as she went bouncing past, carried by some mechanical monster blindly obeying its master's wishes.

"Let me go!" she hollered, pounding on the metal frame of the brute holding her. "Sonic! Sonnnnic!" she continued to cry out for him, hoping that he - or anyone - would come to her aid, but they all seemed stricken; no one would come forward to save her. She watched helplessly as the four of them crammed into an elevator, her face nearly smashed up against the door because the robot could scarcely fit. "Robotnik! You monster! You'll never get away with this!" she screamed even though she couldn't see him from her angle. Her voice echoed loudly off of the walls. "And Shadow! How could you _let _him?!"

"You know, she really does have quite a set of lungs on her," Eggman mused, but Shadow didn't say anything in response. "Hmm. Robot LGN-2, shut her up for us, will you?" Suddenly, a little compartment on the mechanical beast's side opened up and a vent appeared, right next to Amy's face. She blinked in confusion but not before she was blasted with sickly-sweet fumes that immediately invaded her senses. Her vision went cross-eyed and the world teetered and spun before the edges of it began to give out and fade away into nothingness.

"Oh no," Amy said sleepily. "Knock-out gassss..." And then she found herself spiraling into unconsciousness.


	4. run away and give me your sneakers

Shadow was standing over her when she awoke, face-down, on the cement floor. She rolled over onto her back and looked up, realizing she was in a holding cell of some kind, probably deep within the bowels of Eggman's airship. Behind the other hedgehog, she could see the electric blue laser bars that kept them trapped, roped off from the rest of the ship. They were trapped.

Shadow was looking down upon her with an unfathomable expression and their gazes locked momentarily. The unwavering brilliance of his red-hued stare made her skin crawl; it seemed to burn a hole in her, like an almost physical thing. She abruptly looked away, feeling the familiar sting of tears.

"Traitor," she said, rolling onto her side and angrily wiping her face. "Did Eggman throw you in here, too? Serves you right for trusting him."

"No, actually," the darker hedgehog said smoothly. "He gave me a key." She looked over her shoulder to see that he had a keycard on a string around his neck, which he was thumbing absently as he spoke.

"Then what're you doing in here?" Amy demanded, sitting up. She pulled her legs up and hugged them to her chest, glaring up at him. "Come to mock me, then?"

"I've come to check up on you," Shadow answered matter-of-factly. "And give you your gruel." He nudged what appeared to be a paper bag on the floor next to his foot. He pushed it toward her.

Amy snatched it from him and rummaged through it. It wasn't gruel at all; it was a sack-lunch, which appeared to contain a lumpy sandwich, old potato chips, a bruised apple, and a soggy, battered milk carton. "It looks positively delicious," she said sarcastically.

"Well there isn't exactly fine dining on this battleship," Shadow scoffed in response. Amy rotated the apple in her hands, examining it for further damage. It seemed relatively unharmed, considering, and she took a bite into it. It tasted slightly past its prime but she was famished, so she did her best to ignore the slightly sour taste and continued to take chunks out of it with her teeth. After a while she threw the core aside and then got to work on the sandwich and chips, all while Shadow continued to stare.

For a while she was determined to ignore him, but by the time she had drank half of her milk, she could bear his silence no longer. "What do you _want_ from me?" she cried.

Shadow considered her for a moment. "You are very unusual, Amy Rose," he said finally. "I was at least expecting you to attack me, to steal my card, to make a daring bid for freedom. Yet you have not even gone up to investigate the bars; already you have admitted defeat." He cocked his head to one side, as if trying to get a better perspective. "I find this... interesting, coming from the girl who believes so fiercely in survival. Already you have given up your freedom, yet you had seemed determined to keep me from giving up my life."

Amy snorted. "What would be the point of fighting you? You're bigger, faster, and stronger than me. But regardless, you're wrong. I haven't given up. Not even close." When the other hedgehog arched his eyebrows at her, she continued confidently, "Sonic is coming to rescue me, and I'd be careful if I were you, because I bet he's pretty angry by now, and the next time he sees you he's gonna kick your butt."

"I will rip the blue hedgehog to shreds," Shadow told her coldly.

"Good always triumphs over evil, Shadow," Amy told him confidently. "For a while I thought maybe you walked that line, but now I just realize you're just scum. If you wanted to go with Eggman, that was fine, but leave me and my friends out of it!"

"Well if you're so certain of your beloved Sonic's abilities, then I'd assume he's pretty well-equipped to take care of himself," Shadow snapped. "There was no need for me to intervene there. As for the Doctor taking you hostage, that's none of my concern. It is a misfortunate thing to happen to you, of course, but my only purpose here was to hear what he had to say about Maria. What little affairs he has to deal with on the side has nothing to do with _my_ agenda."

"I have a question for you, Shadow," Amy sneered at him suddenly, twisting her hands in her lap. "How much of your past do you actually remember? Because I have a theory." When the other hedgehog didn't answer, she continued. "I have a theory that says you don't actually really remember much at all. And what you do remember, you've twisted it; you've put your own spin on things. Like Maria." She glared up at him and saw that he was looking back down at her with equal dislike. His body had suddenly gone tense, rigid. "I mean, I was thinking about it, and how could you possibly love someone you don't even remember having a relationship with? You couldn't even remember _who she was_, after you fell from space. You had to learn about it through word-of-mouth, and through reading old documents - and only then did the little tidbits start trickling in, to start to jog your memory; but even with that, that's all it did - _it jogged your memory_."

"Don't you start--" Shadow began, but appeared to be rooted to the spot. "How dare you insult her--"

Amy narrowed her eyes at him. "Shadow, you couldn't possibly replicate that emotion - you couldn't possibly hurt as bad as you say you do, because you barely even remember she existed until recently. But it's tragic and romantic and dark and maybe that's what you wanted, so you started feeding yourself this crap, re-inventing this great catastrophe so you could brood. But you don't even know if that's really what it was like. It's just what you _wanted _it to be like. You're a fraud."

"You don't know _anything_!" Shadow yelled suddenly. Amy imagined if she had been standing, he might have pushed her down. "You wretched, stupid girl. How dare you speak such blasphemy about the dead. How _dare_ you disgrace her memory. You disgust me." And he turned away from her dramatically and headed for the door. His hands were shaking so badly he had trouble sliding the keycard through the slot. Despite what Amy had said earlier, she did make a 

break for it when the bars flickered into nothingness - but maybe Shadow had expected this, or maybe he just turned around at the right time – either way, this time he _did _shove her, hard, and sent her skidding across the floor.

"Monster!" she screamed at him, and she ran forward again, but stopped before the bars. "_You're _the fake hedgehog, Shadow! FAKE!"

* * *

For a long time after that she had remained in isolation. Since the incident with Shadow, she now received meals delivered solely by robots. For a while, she had almost regretted pushing his buttons - it had gotten incredibly lonely since her arrival. She had lost track of time, but it felt like she had been stuck in there for days with nothing to do. She had resorted to singing to herself and daydreaming about Sonic to keep herself sane, and try to get as much sleep as possible to help pass the time more quickly. She felt herself sinking farther and farther into depression and despair, wondering just what was keeping her beloved hero from rescuing her. Just when she thought she was about to lose her nerve entirely, however, she saw the enormous shadow of the black hedgehog looming over her on the opposite wall, slowly becoming smaller and smaller until Shadow himself came into view. She watched in wonder as he swiped his keycard and the bars gave away. Amy was so shocked that she didn't even bother to get up, and the bars were quickly replaced behind them as he came inside.

"Dinner time," he told her without enthusiasm, lifting a paper bag in his right hand.

"Why are you here?" Amy asked him suspiciously as he tossed it to her. Either his aim was lousy, or he wasn't really trying to be accurate - either way, it went horribly askew and bounced off to the left. She didn't immediately move to retrieve it, instead eying it mistrustfully. "Did you poison it or something?"

"I wouldn't resort to something so mundane," the black hedgehog retorted dryly. "I prefer a more hands-on approach."

"Oh, I didn't know you were a comedian!" she gushed sarcastically, crawling across the floor to grab it. She dumped its contents on the floor without fanfare - it was the usual, except with an orange this time. She immediately set out to peel it. "You didn't answer my question."

He didn't say anything. "Not gonna talk to me?" she asked bitterly, sinking into the orange. "Or are you just taking notes on this whole humanoid interaction thing so you can practice it later?"

"_You_ should be a comedian," he told her and folded her arms. "I don't need a reason to be here, girl. I am permitted to simply... observe."

"Yeah I bet you did a lot of that, back on Ark," she snapped, and she saw him stiffen. She felt the walls she had armed around herself crumbling. After all, she really did miss company - _any _company, even if it was Shadow. Insulting Maria's memory probably wasn't the best way to get him to come back, in the meantime. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

He didn't immediately respond, and she felt like a jerk. "You know, it was wrong for me to say those things earlier. I shouldn't pretend to understand how you feel." Grasping vaguely for straws, she added, "And I can see why you wouldn't want to get involved--"

"Experiencing a little Stockholm Syndrome, I see," the hedgehog mused.

"... What?" Amy asked, startled. It took her a moment to recall the term's meaning. "_You_ weren't the one who took me captive."

"I suppose I could be considered an accomplice," Shadow said, shrugging. "After all, I certainly didn't help you _not_ get captured."

"Are you playing games with me?"

"No. Listen." Shadow sighed, and his expression didn't exactly soften - but it was a little less hard, maybe. "I have something to say."

Amy watched him for several moments as he seemed to struggle with the words. Finally, he appeared to have found a way to articulate himself and began, tentatively: "For a long time, I couldn't even remember what she looked like. I couldn't remember the sound of her voice. But I... I remembered _her_, whoever she was, and I remembered that I loved her. It was one of the first things that I _did_ remember."

Amy was taken aback. She wasn't sure what she had expected him to say, but it had not been that. Shadow was looking away from her, his expression a little muddled; he seemed to be as confused as she was as to why he was telling her this. "I have found pictures of her since then, so I now I have something to put a face to," he continued, and suddenly he sounded tired and impossibly old. "I can even remember the things she said. But I still can't remember her voice. There's a lot of things I don't remember..."

"Shadow." Amy said, and she was overcome with the overwhelming urge to touch him, to console him. "I'm so sorry." And she truly did mean it; what he had told her made her heart ache for him, gave her deep pangs of sympathy. "But maybe you need to stop living in the past, and start living in the present."

"Maybe," he muttered, and he seemed lost. "...Maybe I should go." And just like that, he had walled himself off again, put up an impenetrable fortress whose walls she could not breach. But he couldn't pretend that she hadn't seen it; she had watched the facade crack a little, and he had revealed some of his secrets to her. It was undeniable progress, and Amy was almost proud. It was in that instance she had forgiven him, and knew, deep down inside, that he had forgiven her also.

She wanted to talk to him more. Already, however, he was making his exit; he swiped his card through the slot and the bars disappeared and he crossed the threshold and stepped outside. He walked outside and down the hall slowly and without any real direction. He appeared deeply troubled.

"Shadow!" Amy called out to him uselessly, but the bars were already flickering back into place; she was trapped again. As she glanced out down the corridor she thought he might have glanced back at her, but she couldn't be sure. And then he was gone.

* * *

She awoke to hear sirens wailing.

There was an explosion, stifled from beyond the steel walls surrounding her. She could hear gunfire and the entire foundation beneath her rumbled and shook before tilting at an angle completely, causing her to slide across the floor and hit a wall. There was another crash, and a sound of twisted metal, and distant, familiar laughter. Suddenly the power was killed off, submerging her completely in darkness. Everything became quiet and still. Her reinforcements had arrived, she realized, with a surge of emotion. Sonic was _here_.

The electric bars had gone out, and she seized her chance, already on the move. She felt her way out of the holding cell and then turned left, jogging down the hall. She put her hands out in front of her to help her guide the way but it was unnecessary - after a moment she heard another clang, closer now, and suddenly the lights came on again. The sirens started up for a second time directly overhead now, hurting her ears. She heard Knuckles shouting in the distance, over the roar, accompanied with more clangs as robots were being destroyed. As she just about to reach the hallway leading out into the beyond, however, Shadow rounded the bend, and the two nearly collided.

Both of them jumped back to avoid each other at the same time. For a minute they simply_ looked _at one another and Amy wondered in the back of her mind if she was about to be physically assaulted and then apprehended. Then Shadow spoke, his voice louder than usual so that it could be heard over the din. "I was looking for you!" he said, and to her surprise, he seized her by the wrist. "Let's get out of here!"

"What!" she exclaimed in surprise as he dragged her along behind him. "But why?" He threw her a questioning look over his shoulder and she added, "Uh, not that I'm not grateful!"

They were about to reach a fork in the hallway when Shadow suddenly shoved her forcibly against the wall, flattening himself beside her as Eggman, seated in his newly improved and heavily armed Egg Walker, went stomping past. After the doctor disappeared around the bend Shadow turned to look at her.

"It was you who convinced me to save Earth, last time," he said suddenly and she felt herself flush under his scarlet gaze. "You told me to help them, that they deserved to live. You said exactly what Maria had said, years before." He was looking at her with an earnest, open expression she had never seen him wear before. It was something tender and reverent and so unlike Shadow that it made her feel a little uncomfortable, like she was barging in on something that was private and didn't belong to her. She wondered if this was how he had looked at Maria, so many decades before. "You told me to save them, and I did. That was you." It wasn't a 

question and at the same time it was, as though he was privately begging for her to confirm this story, to somehow make it more real for him.

"Well, yeah..."

He regarded her with that same look for a moment longer and then seemed to remember where he was, once again gathering his wits about him. He quickly checked down the hall. "Let's go," he said, grabbing her by the arm again and leading her forward.

"But wait!" she protested, glancing down the hall from whence they came. "What about Sonic?"

"What, you don't think your boyfriend can take care of himself?" Shadow said, almost a little mockingly, as they continued to weave throughout the labyrinth that served as the inside of Eggman's battleship. "I'm doing him a favor!" Amy wasn't sure where he was taking her, but she followed him blindly in silence. Neither of them said anything for a while, and Amy could no longer hear the sounds of battle - only the sirens overhead and the sound of her own labored breath.

Suddenly there was an explosion and the airship tilted, causing Shadow and Amy to be sent hurtling. Shadow rolled in mid-air and landed on his back spectacularly, cushioning Amy's fall as she landed abruptly on top of him. She was pretty sure the collision would have knocked the wind out of him but he seemed relatively unharmed, immediately leaping to his feet and dragging her to her own. Then they set off again.

There was another explosion, closer this time, and the two of them went crashing into a wall. Shadow charged forward and moments later they had encountered a door. Shadow swiped his keycard and entered a pin number, the enormous steel door sweeping open to reveal the keel of the ship. As the two of them entered there was a deep groan that issued from beneath them, and the undeniable feeling that they were sinking.

"We're losing altitude!" Shadow said, slapping a giant red button on the side of the wall. Amy saw the enormous bay door opening up just before them, revealing dark, midnight-colored sky and a deep green mountainside that was growing steadily larger by the moment. Shadow led her to the edge of the ship and Amy reluctantly followed until they found themselves staring out into the darkness. She watched as they floated through the clouds. She also saw that smoke was trailing from the ends of the ship and a high-pitched whining sound met them from outside; clearly, the engines had failed. Other than that, the gentle movements and scenic view were almost serene. "Amy," Shadow said suddenly, twisting around to face her. "Amy, we've got to get out of here!"

"But what about Sonic?" she said, looking fearfully back towards the direction in which they had come.

"I'm sure he'll be fine!" Shadow told her, and she shook her head. He turned back toward the open bay door, watching as they continued to descend; they were picking up speed now, clearly plummeting. The ship was also starting to turn and tilt to one side, causing them to them slide 

back toward the entrance to the keel. He pivoted back around to appeal to the pink hedgehog. "Amy, I'm serious. He'll be okay. But we need to go." She nodded feebly, although she still didn't look quite convinced.

"Amy, do you trust me?"

_I want to_, she thought.

"Amy?"

She simply looked at him. Figuring this was the best invitation that he was going to get to continue, he picked her up in one arm and threw her effortlessly over his shoulder. "Hold on." She let out a startled yelp in surprise as he secured his grip on her, turning around so that he was staring out into the beyond. The wind was whipping his face as the ground rushed up to meet them. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for what was coming next.

"_Chaos Control_!"


	5. cause i don't care where you've been

It was a sensation unlike any other she had ever experienced. Time had slowed almost completely to a standstill as she watched Eggman's flaming airship begin to slowly descend below the line of trees. It was like watching a movie play frame by frame - it jerkily disappeared from view, causing a firewall to slowly swell and light the sky again like it were daytime as it ascended back heavenward. Then suddenly everything kicked into fast-forward as the world sped up to accommodate them - she heard herself screaming as she felt herself rocketing downward toward the dirt at a 45 degree angle, not unlike an airplane touching down at four hundred miles an hour. Shadow's feet hit the ground and kicked up dust everywhere, his heels digging great big trenches out of the earth as they went skidding to a halt.

Then everything was back to normal. Amy jumped down from Shadow's shoulder and was afflicted with a sensation akin to vertigo, several seconds too late; she stumbled and nearly fell, but his hands reached out, faster than Sonic's namesake, to steady her. For a moment, she was so overwhelmed by the sheer velocity of their earlier flight that she couldn't articulate coherent thoughts. Then she turned to him dramatically and demanded, "Since when have you been carrying around an Emerald?"

"A while now." She gave him a filthy look and then immediately turned away from him to start climbing up the nearest tree.

"What are you doing?" he called up to her, but she ignored him. She swung herself up onto the oak's tallest branch and peered over the tops of other trees surrounding them in an attempt to locate the crash site where the battleship had landed. She saw a great column of smoke billowing up from an area several miles away.

"Do you think he's okay?" she asked worriedly, chewing her bottom lip.

Shadow's answer was immediate and without hesitation. "Yes."

"Are you just saying that so I won't cry?" She looked down at the top of his head angrily.

"No."

"Then how can you be sure?" she huffed.

"Because, as much as I am loath to admit it," Shadow said blandly, folding his arms. "That blue hedgehog has more lives than a cat."

This seemed to satisfy Amy. "Well, we better go looking for them, then," she said matter-of-factly, and she swung free from the top branch to make her way down the trunk. As she began to descend, however, her footing slipped and she tumbled the rest of the way down. She felt his hands enclose around her for a second time before she could make contact with the unforgiving ground.

She found that she was looking up into his face. She felt herself blushing. "Thanks," she said, and he set her down with surprising gentleness. He was looking at her strangely again, in a 

manner that was vaguely reminiscent of the way he had regarded her back on the airship some time before. It was undeniably tender.

"Why do you care about people so much?" he asked abruptly.

Amy thought about it for a moment. "Remember how I said you need to live a life of substance?" Amy asked him, and he nodded. "Well, they're my friends. My friends are a part of what gives my life substance. They make me happy; they give my life meaning. What would I do without them? So of course I care about them."

"And me? Am I your friend too?" Shadow murmured.

"…Yes, Shadow, you most certainly are."

"But that's not what I meant," he said, and she blinked at him. "Back on the Ark, when you told them to save them. You told me that all life was equal, and they had the potential to be good, and that they deserved the chance to live." He was looking beyond her now, eyes fixated on something in the distance. "But people have the potential for evil, too. And what do you care, if they live or die? There are billions of people out there; you can't possibly know them all. So why care? I never understood that part, even then."

"Well, if they died, we would never know, right?" Amy asked him, touching his shoulder. "Whether they were good or bad. We would have never given them that opportunity. But thanks to you, Shadow, you've given them that chance, whether you believed that they deserved it or not. You did it for her."

"I did it for you too," he told her, and they stared at each other. "I remember. I had promised you, too." She felt herself blushing again, and he turned away, back toward the direction of the smoke. "You are so much like her." And the moment was broken, just like that, and he was detached from the world again, a loner through and through.

For a long time they walked in silence, Shadow leading the way. Amy wasn't sure if he was wandering aimlessly or if he was actually making an effort to locate Sonic and the others, but he was heading in the right general direction and so she followed him without complaint. Eventually they reached a place where the trees had given away to a clearing, and within it was a field devastated by destruction. Disfigured pieces of melted plastic littered the countryside, and several trees had collapsed and burst into flames beneath the weight of falling shrapnel. Everywhere she looked there was carnage.

For a long time she simply looked at the wreckage around her, unable to bring herself to begin searching for bodies. Was it really possible that Sonic and the others could have survived something like this? In her heart she believed so, but she couldn't help but start to feel the first flickers of despair. Shadow stood beside her at the entrance to the clearing, unmoving and unreadable as always.

"Well," Amy began a little uncertainly, "I guess we should start--"

"Amy!"

Amy turned in the direction of the voice just as a blue blur came zipping up from the left to meet her. "Ammmy!" Sonic said again and he grabbed her by the waist, lifting her up in the air and spinning her around in a whirlwind of colors. Amy laughed as the world went flashing past, a red-orange smear against the black sky. "Aw man, for a while there I had thought something horrible had happened--" he told her.

"Me too," she admitted, as he set her back again. She was looking up at him admiringly, unable to keep a big, stupid grin from overtaking her features. Sonic seemed to be trying to bite back a smile as well, but was failing miserably. She had never been so happy to see him.

"How did you make it out?" they both asked each at the same time, before bursting into laughter. She looked over the top of the other hedgehog's head to see Knuckles and Tails making their way through the obliterated countryside, looking battle-worn and tired but other than that, relatively unscathed. She was so overwhelmed with relief to see them that her knees nearly buckled.

Sonic reached out one to steady her. His face was torn between amusement and concern, and he quirked an eyebrow, as if to ask, 'are you okay?' She nodded feverishly. "So what happened?" she asked, and her voice sounded a little hoarse from the sudden onslaught of emotions that had crashed over her at the sight of him.

"Well," he began, tilting his head back in the direction of his companions. "I _sort of_ have friends who are pretty good at flying."

_Duh_, Amy thought, making a face at herself. Sonic didn't give her the opportunity to belittle herself for being silly, however; he was too interested in her own escape.

"But what about you?" he asked her excitedly, gathering her hands up in his own. "I was really scared back there, you know, I made it to the cell and you were gone, so I thought maybe they had moved you. I doubled back and looked for you _everywhere_, but you must've already busted loose 'cause you were gone."

"Shadow helped me." Amy looked over her shoulder and smiled at Shadow beatifically, who was watching the whole scene unravel before him in apparent disinterest. She turned back to look at Sonic, and saw that he was wearing a most unusual expression. Everything seemed to have clouded over, and he wore a look that he generally reserved for Eggman.

"Very nice," Sonic said, although it didn't look as though he thought that was the case at all. "And how did you manage that? There were no escape pods on board - we tried looking for them. The only reason Eggman was able to jump ship at the last second was because his Egg Walker doubled as one. So how'd you guys manage to make it to safe ground?"

"He used Chaos Control," Amy said, and if it was at all possible, Sonic's expression got murkier. "Sonic, what's the big deal?" she asked him, releasing his hands. She watched them drop to his side and abruptly he was clenching them, his eyes narrowing as he regarded Shadow even more 

mistrustfully. "I mean, I know he went off with Robotnik initially but he didn't do anything bad to me. He actually ended up saving me. Sonic, _he's on our side_!" she cried out as the blue hedgehog threw himself into a sonic-spin. Suddenly Shadow was in the air too and the two collided with such force that they were both sent bouncing off in opposite directions. Amy watched helplessly as the two ricocheted off of a pair of trees before coming forward to clash again overhead.

"What is going on!" Amy shrieked, whirling around to face Tails and Knuckles. The two were crouched in defensive stances, in case they were needed for assistance. Both of them had looks of grim determination on their face.

"Eggman's Egg Walker was a monster!" Tails told her excitedly, although his eyes did not waver from the fight going on in front of him. "It was really hard for us to take it down, and for a long time we didn't get why, until--"

"--Eggman said it was powered by a Chaos Emerald," Knuckles said through gritted teeth, enormous fists at the ready. "And he told us that Shadow had given it to him."

"We stole it back, naturally," Tails told her. "But the fact still remains, Shadow is definitely _not_ on our side!"

"Incoming!" Knuckles yelled and the two of them pushed her down into the grass, falling down beside her. The two hedgehogs whooshed overhead and landed behind them, Shadow on top now, pummeling Sonic in the stomach as the other hedgehog struggled vainly beneath him.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Amy said, and the trio got to their feet and rushed to get into the thick of things. Knuckles seized Shadow by the shoulder and wrenched him backward. He threw the black hedgehog bodily into a nearby tree, knocking the wind out of him. Sonic got to his feet and immediately sprang forward as Shadow peeled himself away from the trunk and followed suit. The two of them began to circle one another again and Knuckles and Tails had joined in to help out their friend. The four of them shuffled about, watching one another anxiously.

"ENOUGH!" the little pink hedgehog bellowed suddenly, leaping into the center of the ring. "Sonic, leave him alone! And call of your cronies, too!" she snapped, glaring at the blue hero and his friends. She turned back to look at the other hedgehog, whose hackles were still up. "And Shadow, _please_!"

Sonic exchanged glances with Knuckles and Tails and reluctantly nodded. The blue hedgehog stood up straighter and let his fists fall to his side; the other two mimicked him perfectly. Across from him, Shadow seemed to be giving more deliberation to the situation. But as Amy's brilliant green eyes looking imploringly into his own, he seemed to come around to his senses; he, too, dropped his fists to his sides.

"Look, Eggman says a lot of things," Amy said, addressing Sonic first. "He likes to sew the seed of mistrust. Remember how many times he's fooled Knuckles?" The echidna glowered at her, 

and she shrugged helplessly, looking beyond him to appeal to Sonic instead. "Seriously. He likes to lead people on."

"Amy, he hasn't even tried to defend himself!" Sonic exclaimed hotly. "If you think for just one second that I'm going to dismiss it _just because you say so, _you've got another thing coming! This guy is a loose cannon! He's dangerous!"

"I don't care, Sonic!" Amy told him shrilly. "I don't even want to hear what he has to say, alright? I just want you to_ listen to me. _He saved me, Sonic, and I'm grateful. You should be too."

"I would've saved you if he hadn't," the blue hedgehog muttered in response, but aside from that, he seemed to have let it go, albeit with great reluctance. Amy turned to Shadow next.

"Shadow, please don't fight with him," she told him. "Just let it go. For me, okay?"

"Ha!" Sonic said, slapping his knee. "That's rich! If you think that's going to work on him--"

"Okay, Amy," the black hedgehog interrupted, with eyes for nobody but the girl in front of him. The other hedgehog's demeanor changed noticeably. Sonic was clearly shocked, looking between the two in bewilderment.

"That's it?" he asked, as if he didn't still quite believe that Shadow had agreed so readily. The black hedgehog simply sneered at him in response, and Amy gave a wan smile.

"See? He's not all bad."

Sonic frowned, still peering between the two suspiciously. "What's going on here?" he asked, right as Shadow said, "I think it's time I take my leave." Amy nodded.

"Before you go, I want to talk to you for a second?" Shadow nodded and gesticulated back into the woods. "Okay," Amy said, and the two of them began to go back in the direction where they came. As they disappeared amongst the foliage Sonic started forward but Amy's voice floated back, "Wait for me there, Sonic." The blue hedgehog halted, scowled, and retreated back to the others, tapping his foot impatiently.

Shadow stopped beside a fallen, moss-covered log several yards away from prying eyes and ears. He turned around so that he was facing Amy Rose as she stopped beside him. "Shadow," she began without preamble. "Did you really give Robotnik that Chaos Emerald?" For a long time the other hedgehog did not speak. Then he gave a slight inclination of his head and Amy looked disappointed. "Shadow," she said again, a little more desperately, "I really hope you're not running errands for the Doctor. Please don't give him another one. Trust me, whatever he's offering you in return, it isn't a fair trade. He could wreck havoc on the planet with that kind of power!"

Shadow, predictably, retorted, "Whatever happens to Earth is not my concern..."

"Shadow," Amy said, and she gathered his hands in her own, a fair imitation of Sonic's own favorite gesture. Shadow stared down between them, at her delicate hands cradling his much larger ones. "Please. One last favor. For me?"

"And what will you give me in return?" he asked her curiously.

This was not the answer she had wanted. "What do you want?" she asked him, a little apprehensively.

Shadow paused, seemingly to consider his options. "I want to see you again," he said at last.

_You could've done that anyway_, Amy didn't say. _I wouldn't stop you. _"Okay." She turned back toward where the others were waiting in the distance. "I should probably go," she said, imagining how increasingly anxious Sonic was getting with every minute. She could imagine him pacing, letting his imagination carry him away. He probably thought Shadow and Amy were indulging in a sloppy, traitorous, _wet_ goodbye. The thought was making her start to blush again, and so she shook the image away. "They're probably getting worried."

"Okay."

"Goodbye, Shadow," Amy said, waving cheerfully back at him as she began to walk away. The other hedgehog continued to watch her until she was back within safety's reach. Then he turned to go.

* * *

Sonic was, as she had guessed, pacing.

"What took you so long?" he demanded as he stopped what he was doing and instead came forward to meet her at the top of the slope, where the clearing gave way to the forest. Behind him, Tails and Knuckles made sloppy kissing sounds.

"Hey! No comments from the peanut gallery!" Amy called out to them, but she was laughing.

"That's what you were doing, wasn't it! Don't lie to me!" Sonic cried, and Amy just laughed harder. Then Sonic was laughing, too. This was part about what she loved about Sonic - that he never took anything too seriously. He was her shining star. "Yeah, seriously. He doesn't got nothin' on _this _blue hedgehog." He jabbed a thumb into his chest proudly.

"I don't know, Sonic," said Knuckles, very seriously. "Black _is_ the new blue, you know. He has that _edge_." And the whole group dissolved in laughter once again.

"Look, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt," Sonic said, wiping the tears from his eyes a few minutes later. "For you. But seriously Amy, we gotta keep an eye out on him, just in case."

"He gave me his word," Amy said breezily, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm not worried."

Knuckles and Sonic exchanged highly significant looks. "What?" she asked.

"Love is blind, ay, ay, ay," Knuckles said tunelessly. Then he sighed when the pink hedgehog scowled at him. "All joking aside, Amy," Knuckles said, "This is a little psychology for you. Like sees like. People have a tendency to think other people are just like them. Untrustworthy people think other people are untrustworthy. Dishonest people think other people are dishonest. Good people will always think they see in the good of other people." He nodded in her direction. "It's a fallacy among beasts and humans alike. We can't help it; its in our nature. But I think you're probably kidding yourself. Shadow is a snake, Amy; _I _know. It takes a snake to see a snake."

"Not that I'm a bad guy, per se," Knuckles admitted. "I'm just impartial to other people's plights, unless the Master Emerald gets involved. And sometimes that portrays me in a bad light. But really, I could care less. Shadow is the same - neutral. Except when he gets focused on something, he does whatever it takes to do it. That can mean blurring the line between what is right and what's wrong. And right now, I'm telling you, Robotnik has made him an offer he can't refuse. And he's treading into murky waters. He is the enemy, Amy."

"But didn't you say we like to think people are just like them?" Amy demanded. "So wouldn't that just mean you're projecting your own character flaws onto this?"

"Amy..."

"That _is_ just what you said, right?" Amy inquired sweetly, and as Knuckles tried to make a rebuttal she said, "Just answer the question please." The echidna gave a singular, curt nod, his expression mutinous. "Alright, just checking. Now let's drop it, okay?" She asked, her voice still dripping with false honey. Knuckles looked at Sonic, perhaps for support, and the hero shrugged.

"You're in for a rude awakening," Knuckles told her, with an almost pitying expression as he shook his head. "That's all I'm going to say."

"Alright, guys, let's play nice from now on," Sonic intervened, and he threw an arm around Knuckles and another one around Amy, hugging them against a respective armpit as he began to walk back towards the forest. Tails trotted eagerly behind. "Why don't we head back to Station Square and order a really big pizza? Heck, we'll even do it on_ my_ dime."

"How very gallant of you," Knuckles told him sarcastically and rolled his eyes. Sonic only pulled him tighter.

"Only messin' with you echitard, of course I'll treat. Besides, back on the Island it's not like you have _real _currency anyway. You have to rely on bartering with coconuts and stuff instead, right?" The scarlet Guardian muttered something very rude and pulled himself free from Sonic's grip, falling alongside Tails as they progressed deeper into the forest. Sonic looked between the two-tailed fox and Amy. "So what do you say, guys? A big greasy cheese pizza dripping with saturated fat and topped with pepperoni and a side of extra cholesterol. Sounds excellent, right?"

"Sonic, you do realize it's almost sun-up, right?" Knuckles said, pointing to the lightening sky overhead.

"So? Breakfast is the_ best _time to have pizza. Isn't that right, Amy?"

"Right!"Amy said happily and she wrapped her arm around Sonic's waist from behind, leaning further into him.

"Well, actually we'll get two pizzas, because Knuckles likes anchovies on his and I think that's _disgusting_ and I refuse to ruin my pizza with that abomination."

"You have no taste, hedgehog."

"Whaaaaatever you say, Knux. Whatever you say."


	6. it's a shame, we could've gone sailing

"I was really worried about you," he confided to her some hours later, two lone hot wings and an abandoned pizza box between them. "It really opened my eyes to a lot of things." The others had already left; Tails had retired back to his shop in the Mystic Ruins, and Knuckles had gone off to where-ever it was that Knuckles went when he wasn't back on the Island. It was just him and her now, sitting at her cramped kitchen table in her tiny apartment - it was light outside now, a bright and cheerful day cresting over the horizon, but she had drawn the curtains closed, so that they were submerged into semi-darkness.

She was feeling lethargic from the previous night's activities - sleepy and full with blurry, happy thoughts. Being tired did strange things to Sonic as well; he was like a blank canvas, open and honest and unusually unguarded. Not that he walled himself off like Shadow did, an impenetrable fortress - not by any means. But he did have his own method of defense - and that was a goofy, almost maddeningly cheerful demeanor. She had never had him speak so plainly about his own emotions before. And yet here they were, and he was rapidly approaching _The Talk_ - and she could feel it, see where he was leading her, and it left her pleasantly happy and scared at the same time, which was an unusual cocktail for her nerves.

"You mean a lot to me, Amy," he told her gently, and their hands met in the center of the table, fingers intertwined. He was staring her full on in the face - brazen, unblinkingly - there were no shared winks here, no smirks or playful laughter. This was all seriousness.

"Oh?" she asked him innocently.

"Yeah," he re-affirmed, with the same unabashed look. "Remember when we first met?"

She giggled. "How could I forget?" she asked him, almost dreamily, as the memories came spiraling back to her. She remembered the first time she saw him - chivalry manifested, her brilliant blue savior. It had been years since then; years since her pulsating affection for him had seized her, the torrid intensity of it leaving her overwhelmed and breathless. It had matured since them, altered and yet deepened - no longer a crush, more of a wanton feeling. Other infatuations would come and go over the years, but at the end of the day, there was always Sonic; Sonic who was pure and heroic and ideal, tangible perfection, and the source of her deepest, most passionate desires.

"You were just a little girl," he told her.

"You were young too," she reminded him coyly.

"I was an _idiot_," he said, and she laughed again. "But we've come a long way since then. You, you're all grown up," his gaze took in her body admiringly and he gave a small nod in acknowledgement. "And me… well, maybe I still am kind of a reckless moron, but I do it with a certain finesse." He smiled a little. "You really do mean a lot to me, Amy. More than you'll ever know. And we've gone through a lot together, and every time I get to rescue you I think about this, and how far we've come along. We've practically grown up together. But we always do this, this brother-sister kind of thing, don't we?"

"We do," she agreed demurely. She could feel her heart racing. Everyone else - Knuckles, Tails, Robotnik - even Shadow - were a thousand miles away, temporarily pushed out of sight and mind. It was just her and Sonic, suspended in this moment, and she could feel them reaching a crescendo - this pinnacle she had been waiting for her entire life.

"But we're more than brother and sister," he told her quietly. "It's more than family. I've never been so hot on girls," he admitted. "I've always been too busy playing hero. For a long time you were just my pink little shadow. But now I can feel the shift here, between you and me. Things are changing - _we're _changing. Evolving." She held her breath. "It's just not that simple anymore..." He was standing now, leaning across the table, his face inches from her own. She could feel the smell of his breath on his mouth - sweet and tangy like the barbeque sauce on the wings. "Every time I see you, it reaffirms things. This feeling. That there's something between us, you and I..." She closed her eyes.

_He's going to kiss me,_ she realized, almost a little belatedly. _I've been waiting years for this moment, and it's finally going to come. He's actually going to do it._

But he didn't. And when she opened them he was seated again, but was watching her with an undeniably tender expression. This time, she _was_ confused. What happened? Why hadn't he done it? She blinked a few times.

"I can't do it," he told her, and she wasn't certain what he was referring to. "Not yet. I'm too... scared. It's new to me. And I want to be sure," he said, and she continued to stare at him blankly, deflating a little. She was wide-awake now, feeling dismayed and perplexed. "But I just want to know... I want to know if you'll wait on me."

_Wait on you to do what?_ She wanted to ask, bewildered. But what she said was, "Okay." She tried to smile encouragingly, the corners of her lips twitching uncomfortably, and he looked relieved. But the moment was broken, and even though he couldn't feel it, there was a rift that came between them.

"Well, I'd better get moving, then," he said, glancing at the clock on the wall. He grinned at her - and he was Sonic again, having carefully rearmed his defenses. His unapologetic, carefree demeanor sidled back in place. "Knux'll have kittens if I leave him alone in the big city for too long, you know?" He flashed her a wink. "He told me earlier he was gonna try and find his way back to the hotel - " she nodded blandly, having vaguely recalled this conversation taking place before Knuckles took his leave of Amy's apartment - "but you know how he is, like a little kid, really. He's probably lost and getting into all kinds of mischief." He clucked his tongue distastefully and moved to stand. Amy felt herself mechanically moving with him, leading him to the door and politely holding it open for him so that he could leave. "Try to catch some shut-eye, okay?" he asked her and she nodded, nearly shutting the door on his face.

_Well,_ she thought, feeling the first vestiges of emotion creeping up on her - and it was the familiar flutter of despair. _That was anti-climatic._

* * *

She awoke to find him looming above her, a malevolent and encompassing shadow.

"Shadow!" Amy said, startling badly. She gripped the edges of her couch to keep herself from toppling out of it completely. "How did you get in?"

"Your window was open," he told her plainly.

"Couldn't you just_ knock_?" Amy said, her hand pressed against her chest. She could feel her heart racing, fluttering madly beneath her sweaty palm.

"What would the purpose of that be, seeing as you've left me an easier means of coming inside?"

"Shadow, it's called breaking and entering," Amy said, her alarm giving away into irritation. "You can't just go waltzing into people's houses because you feel like it." She wondered if he just liked to disregard social norms because he could, or if he really _was_ clueless. Gazing upon his expressionless face, she thought it very well could have been the latter.

"What're you doing in here, anyway?" she asked him irately a few moments later, when it became clear he wasn't going to answer her.

"I told you I wanted to see you again."

"You didn't exactly specify when though, back there," she pointed out. "And I figured we could sort of agree on a time and a place. Mutually."

"Interesting theory. However, since I'm already here, why don't we just agree that there's no better time than the present?"

"Are you being... coy?"

"No."

She threw him a highly skeptical look, and sat up to turn on a lamp. Immediately the room was basked in a yellow-orange glow, and she could gaze upon him more fully and realize how utterly bizarre he appeared, standing in the midst of her highly-effeminately furnished home. He looked ridiculous amongst the varying shades of pink and purple that adorned her living room, like a gaudy statue someone had given her as a present by mistake. The contrast between the two of them - dark and light, two worlds that should have never eclipsed - made her want to laugh. The whole situation was utterly absurd, and she was grateful for the distraction.

She looked at the clock just behind his head on the opposite wall. It was nearly eight o' clock. Apparently she had eventually succumbed to Sonic's suggestion for rest after all, even though she had found it initially hard to oblige. She had spent the whole day and part of the night asleep. "So," she began, a little awkwardly, "what brings you here, to my humble abode?"

"I was watching you," he told her, and this was not exactly what she wanted to hear. "You're a restless sleeper. Something is troubling you." It was not a question.

"It's been a... confusing sort of day."

"Maria was never a restless sleeper," Shadow mused, mostly to himself. "She was always so peaceful. Even in death." He added, almost as an afterthought, and she fought back the shivers. Over the past twenty-four hours she had let him re-assume his neutral role in her mind - neither hero nor villain, just Shadow; but there was no denying there was something completely alien about him, something eerie. Perhaps it was his lack of social etiquette, his unusual observations, musings made mostly to himself - it gave him a distinctly_ un_-human quality.

"You were dreaming," he told her. "I've been dreaming too. And do you know what I dreamt?" Amy could guess, but she shook her head anyway. "I dreamt of her. And she spoke in your voice. Every time I think of Maria now, and I imagine her speaking, she does it in your voice. Even in my sleep. You two are so much alike." His voice was quiet, and he got that sort of glazed look back when he had rescued her, when he had first made the connection. "She was a humanitarian, just like you. She saw the good in everyone. Even me." His hands reached out and took her by the forearms, and she was dimly aware that he was pulling her to her feet. "I've done terrible things, Amy Rose," he half-whispered to her, their faces level with one another. "You've even seen me do some of them. Some of them you have not. These things are irreversible. Do you think she could forgive me?"

Amy looked into his pleading eyes. "Of course she could, Shadow," she told him, feeling a pang of sympathy.

Even more quietly, he asked, "And you? Could you?"

"Why do you care what I think?" she asked him a little nervously. She felt herself grow hot beneath his undeniably enraptured stare.

"Because you can give me the solace she can't," he said, almost gently. A little more urgently, he asked, "So do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Forgive me. Knowing that I've committed horrible crimes," he whispered. "Knowing that I may commit more."

"O-of course I forgive you, Shadow," she muttered, and she tore her gaze away, looking down at the floor embarrassedly. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Making mistakes is apart of being humanoid. We all sin. It's just knowing that you're sorry that really counts."

He nodded once, and then suddenly he cupped her beneath the chin, steering her face so that she was looking at him again. "I want to kiss you," he told her unexpectedly.

"Y-you w-what?" she squeaked.

"I want to kiss you," he said again. "I've never kissed anyone before."

"N-not even Maria?" she asked, before she could help herself.

"The only time I ever thought about it was until after she had died," he said. "I have grieved this missed opportunity for years. But that isn't why I want to kiss you."

"Why do you want to kiss me, then?" she asked him, a little stronger now.

"Because you forgave me," he told her simply. "Because you are the only pure thing in this world." And it was in this moment he transcended what Sonic had done, had bested him in this last and most important aspect - because he leaned in and he _did_ kiss her, and she knew instantly that he had been wrong. Because it was his sincerity that was the only pure thing in the world, completely unrivaled by anything else that existed. She found herself lost in the sudden warmth of his embrace as their lips met.

Later, she would think of Sonic. It would be hard to believe she had been brooding about _not_ kissing him some twelve hours before. The mere thought would be absurd - laughable, even. Because in this moment, there was only Shadow - the anti-hero that had ended up stealing her heart. And she could not have been happier.


	7. we're the ones who still believe

Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine being anything more than a friend to Shadow, and even that had seemed like a long stretch. He almost always did missions solo, or when he did accept help, it was only because Rouge flat-out refused to let him go without her. Rarer still, sometimes he and Sonic would team up, but only to take on some unfathomable evil that threatened to destroy them all. Regardless of the circumstance, these occurrences were few and far between, and after all was said and done, she generally watched him slink off to be alone by himself again. And yet here they were, blurring the line between what was friendship and what was quickly blossoming into something more.

So much had transpired to them since that fateful evening in the alley-way. They had gone from opposing sides to acquaintances to friends, and now they were approaching something she wasn't sure how to classify. She was afraid to simply ask - afraid that she was reading too much into things, that he was confused and maybe his feelings weren't genuine. Yet here they were, ambling down the side-walk together, in close proximity; they were out and about, undeniably together, in public, so close their shoulders were almost touching. Sometimes his fingers would brush against her own - they were so close! - and she would startle and look at him, wondering what he wanted. She could feel the pull between them - the dynamic shifting, the roles mutating - and she wasn't sure exactly where he was taking her.

"Is this the place you were talking about?" he asked her, stopping beside a diner while she continued to blunder forward. She jumped at the sound of his voice, spun, and realized she had missed her mark entirely. Either Shadow was oblivious to her rampant stupidity or he had politely decided to not to notice, too busy looking up at the cheery red-and-white sign instead.

"Y-yeah, this is," she said, and her voice sounded strange from not talking for so long. She trotted back over to where he was standing. "Hope you're a carnivore. Their steak and eggs are really amazing," she said, as he stepped forward to go inside. She started and then stopped, watching as he stood there holding open the door.

"Well?" he asked her. "Are you going inside or not?"

"Are you holding it open for _me_?" she asked incredulously.

"Who else would I be holding it open for, girl?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows.

"I thought you weren't good with these kinds of things," she protested, a little alarmed at the sight of him. Still, she refused to proceed forward. "I mean, you break into my living room and refer to be as a 'girl' more often that you use my actual name. Yet you know that you're supposed to hold open _doors_?"

"Amy," Shadow said, putting a lot of emphasis on her name. He looked exasperated now. "Just go inside."

"Shadow!"

Shadow threw Amy a filthy look, as if to say, _this is all your fault_, before turning to the sound of the voice. It was none other than Rouge the Bat, accompanied by her sort-of-kind-of-but-not-really boyfriend, Knuckles. The former looked simply delighted at the sight of the black-and-red hedgehog, while the latter was watching the two of them in front of the restaurant with faint and mistrustful curiosity. Rouge came forward and suddenly threw her arms around Shadow, pulling him into her ample cleavage. Amy wasn't sure what shocked her more - that Rouge was hugging or Shadow, or that Shadow was allowing it. Her gaze flickered between the two, a little shell-shocked.

Knuckles, however, was staring straight at her. She looked up and their eyes met, and she felt herself blushing again. "Uh, hey, Knuckles," she said awkwardly. She wasn't sure if she should hug him or shake his hand or run in the opposite direction as fast as she could. The echidna didn't exactly look pleased to see her. "How's it going?"

Knuckles stepped forward, and one enormous hand reached out and clasped her shoulder, steering her into him. For one alarming moment, she thought maybe he _was_ going to hug her - but he simply pulled her into him, muttering into one radiant pink ear, "just what is going on here, hm? Fraternizing with the enemy, are we?"

"Excuse me?" she demanded, having at least the dignity to be insulted. She pushed herself away from him.

"Someone did not heed the seer's warning, I see," Knuckles mused, shaking his magnificent head disdainfully. A moment later, he added quietly, "I thought you were going to spend some time with Sonic today."

"Who told you that?" she asked him curiously. "I haven't seen him since yesterday morning."

"Oh, really?" The echidna cocked one scarlet eyebrow, looking genuinely surprised. He heaved a great sigh. "What a complete and utter idiot." He returned his attention to Rouge and Shadow, the former of which who still had one arm slung around the hedgehog. "Uh, Rouge?" he asked, a little scornfully. "We're right _here_."

"Please, Knuckles," Rouge said, very openly rolling her eyes. "I'm not doing anything except catching up with my good friend Shadow here." She batted her eyebrows at him flirtatiously, winking, and Amy knew it was all for show; she was trying to get a rise out of the red echidna. Knuckles, however, didn't seem to be taking the bait; he was too absorbed in the appearance of Shadow, watching the other hedgehog intently.

Rouge resumed her conversation with Shadow. "I didn't know you were in town! Where have you been staying?"

"Oh, I'd say a vast multitude of places," the Guardian responded for him, as Rouge gave him a questioning look. "In a hospital, on Eggman's airship--"

"Quiet, echidna," the hedgehog said icily. "You're treading dangerous waters, there--"

"Where were you last night, Shadow?" The echidna asked almost nicely, feigning innocence. "Lurking in the bowel's of the _Good_ Doctor's fortress?"

"Actually," Amy said, glaring at him. "He was with me."

There was an uncomfortable silence, and Amy immediately realized her mistake. She looked between the three of them anxiously. Rouge and Knuckles looked shocked, and Shadow's expression was completely unreadable. He simply stared.

Suddenly there was an explosion of noise. "Oh wow!" Rouge said, cackling as she shook Shadow by the shoulder, stirring him free from the fragments of his reverie. "Didn't know you had it in you, Shads!" The hedgehog cringed, just ever-so-slightly, at the sound of the nickname. "She's a cute one, though," she rounded on Amy now, her gaze openly leery. "You've got good taste, I'll give you that."

"I think you've got the wrong idea," Amy tried to amend, feeling herself bypassing scarlet and plunging straight into maroon. "I didn't mean like tha--"

"Sure, sure, of course," Rouge said airily, not really listening. She looked Amy up and down appreciatively, giving her approval. "So what's your name again, little girl?"

"She's not a little girl," Knuckles intercepted, looking annoyed. "Her name is Amy. Enough with the pleasantries. Let's _go_, Rouge." He was pointedly not looking at the pink hedgehog now, apparently torn between shock and disgust. She felt suddenly ashamed.

Rouge wasn't having any of it, however. "Oh _no_, Mister Echidna," she huffed, taking him by the arm so that he would look at her. "Shadow and I still have a lot of things to catch up on. I haven't seen him a raccoon's age, honestly! And _you_ still owe me breakfast." She narrowed her eyes to slits as Knuckles shook his head. "So this is how you thank me, hmmm? Here I am, taking time of work, flying miles and miles and miles, just so that we could spend some time toget--"

"Fine!" Knuckles said, throwing up his arms. "Fine, we can all have breakfast. But then we need to go. Okay?" He looked supremely unhappy with the way things were going. Rouge, on the other hand, grew simply radiant.

"That's more like it!" she twittered excitedly, turning to Shadow with a beaming smile. "Come on inside, Shads," she said, and she pulled the black hedgehog through the entrance behind her. Knuckles caught the door before it could shut on the other two's faces and held it open for Amy, although he still refused to look at her, instead opting to stare completely over the top of her head.

"Err, thanks," Amy said awkwardly, as she eclipsed the threshold. Knuckles allowed the door to fall closed behind them, falling in step behind her.

"I don't approve of your decisions, Amy," he muttered, so only that she could hear. Shadow and Rouge were already at the host's desk, where a waitress was gathering up menus for them. "But I am determined to protect you. For _his _sake." She didn't know exactly who Knuckles was referring to, but she was grateful for his concern, however misguided it may have been.

* * *

Four plates of hot food and several glasses of orange juice later found the four of them crammed into a too-small booth, Knuckles and Rouge on one side with Shadow and Amy on the other. The table was so cramped that their elbows kept brushing, and Amy was pretty sure her new pigment color for the day was going to be a lovely amaranth color. Thankfully, Rouge was too engaged with catching up with Shadow to notice her almost painful embarrassment.

Rouge did most of the talking; Shadow spent the entire duration of the conversation nodding in assent and giving one-word answers. Meanwhile, Knuckles was resolutely not speaking with Amy, and so nothing transpired between the remaining two occupants of the table. She spent the vast majority of her time there eating and drinking, or watching the awkward interaction between the two former quasi-villains. Knuckles was staring out the window and into space, apparently lost in thought.

"Oh, and before I forget! I have something to show you!" Rouge gushed suddenly, and Amy saw her whip out a familiar glittering gem. "Look at what Iiiii've got." The appearance of the Chaos Emerald snapped Knuckles free from his daydreaming. He jerked sideways to glare at her so violently it wasn't a wonder his head didn't come completely off.

"Rouge!" he nearly shouted, sounding aghast. "At the table? _In present company_?"

"Knuckles told me he and his friends got a hold of one, too," Rouge continued, clearly ignoring the other echidna. "But he wont tell me where they've hidden it." She jutted out her lower lip, pouting. "Seems he doesn't _trust_ me." She tossed back her elegant head and gave a tinkling, sparkling laugh.

"Rouge, put that away," Knuckles commanded, looking horrified at the sight of the Emerald. "Now!" Rouge smiled sweetly at him, and obliged. As she tucked the Emerald back away in its secret hiding spot within her outfit, Amy turned to look at Shadow. The black hedgehog was watching the bat with a unique expression.

"You shouldn't have that," he told her quietly.

"And why shouldn't she?" Knuckles demanded at once, suddenly coming to the other girl's defense. The switch was almost dizzying. "She has enough right as anyone else, _Shadow_."

"I didn't say that she didn't," the other hedgehog said darkly, giving Knuckles a look of deep disgust. "I was simply hoping to remind her of the danger of her to be harboring something to feverishly sought out."

The beautiful bat shook her head ruefully. "I'm more than capable of taking care of myself, Shadow. You should know that."

"We can only hope so," the other hedgehog said. "It would be unfortunate for it to fall into dangerous hands."

"And what do you mean by that, Shadow?" the echidna asked him tartly.

"Stop jumping down his throat, Knuckles!" Amy spat, having heard enough. She glared at the other beast across the table from him, and he simply glowered at her in return. "I'm sure he wasn't referring to himself, you twit--"

"I think everyone at this table is well-aware of Doctor Robotnik's continuous struggle to acquire these brilliant gemstones--"

"--The ones that_ you've _been helping him gather--"

"Knuckles!" Amy exploded again, as Rouge continued to watch the scene unravel at the table before her in apparent amusement. "You have no proof of that, other than whatever lies Robotnik has spewed at you--"

"It's okay, Amy." The black hedgehog said smoothly, silencing her. "He can think whatever he wants." He nodded curtly in Knuckles' direction. "But back to the point I was trying to make. Robotnik can be quite devious. We all know that. I'm simply suggesting it may be in Rouge's best interests to rid herself of the jewel entirely, before he comes looking for it - and her."

"Ha!" Rouge snorted. "Fat chance! He can have it over _my dead body_."

Shadow seemed deeply troubled by her answer.


	8. was it love or was it just easy?

Although they had parted ways with Rouge and Knuckles shortly after breakfast, Shadow and Amy spent the rest of their day together. Shadow had never had a proper tour of Station Square before, and Amy was determined to give him a good one in hopes that he might be persuaded to stay a while. If Shadow was impressed with the city, he made not mention of it; instead he took in its sights and sounds wordlessly, regarding everything with only faint interest. He appeared to only take the tour in stride as a way of humoring Amy. She tried to ignore these niggling doubts as they sauntered about the city, entering stores and walking through parks. She had come across many familiar faces - friends and neighbors alike - but not once had she caught sight of Sonic. This was not exactly unusual, but she was still surprised that they had not run into one another.

However, she was well aware that word would get out in no time, and soon Sonic would come running. Especially now that Knuckles had seen them. She imagined the blue hedgehog would have a lot to say on the matter, and she was curious as to his reaction. For now, however, she was happy to walk along with Shadow in peace - the last thing she was looking forward to at the moment was a confrontation. Maybe if she managed to corner Sonic while the two of them were alone, she could avoid a spectacle...

"It's getting dark out," Shadow noted, some hours later. "Maybe we should continue this tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Amy agreed as they both turned their gaze heavenward. Tiny sparkling stars were beginning to dot the sky now, as a blanket of darkness began to slowly descend upon them. For a moment they stared at the midnight-blue colored sky in silence, and Amy noticed that Shadow had adjusted ever-so-slightly, so that their shoulders were now deliberately touching, half-leaning into her. She felt her skin erupt in goose-flesh that had nothing to do with how chilly it was outside.

Amy cleared her throat. "Yeah," she said again, and reluctantly disengaged herself from his side. "We should probably go. My apartment's not far from here." She pointed at the top of the hill, a few blocks away. Shadow nodded and the two of them set off to the place she had indicated to the distance. They once again lapsed into silence, Amy's mind racing at the speed of light as they walked. _What is going here? _She wondered desperately, sneaking a glance at the onyx hedgehog beside her. _Just what do you want from me? _

They reached the steps of her apartment several minutes later. "Alright," she said, and they ascended to her door. She fumbled for her keys, well-aware of how badly her hands were shaking as they stood on her dainty porch. At last she found them, stabbing them into the keyhole and wrenching it to the side. There was a faint _click_ as it unlocked, the door swinging open with an audible creak. Amy glanced once into the dark entranceway, and then turned to Shadow expectantly. The other hedgehog was watching her blankly.

"Uhm," she said awkwardly, arms swinging stupidly at her sides as they dropped away from the doorknob. "Do you want to come inside...?"

"Perhaps I shouldn't," Shadow said quietly. "I've already spent the night once. It would be inappropriate if I stayed again."

"I don't mind..."

"I know you don't." A little apologetically, he added, "I need to be by myself for a while."

"Oh," she had trouble masking the disappointment and confusion in her voice.

"This is new to me," Shadow told her, a little more gently. "I need some time to gather my wits, as it were."

"Okay." She bit her lower lip anxiously, nodding a little too exuberantly than what was strictly necessary. She also wasn't sure if she believed him entirely. Feeling perplexed and a little embarrassed, she turned to walk inside.

"Wait."

Amy turned around, lifting her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"... I want to kiss you again." He said, and she saw that his hand was extended before him, as if to catch her by the chin. He faltered and it fell limply to one side, as if unsure how to proceed now that he had caught her attention. A little apprehensively, he asked, "Can I?"

She couldn't find the words, so she simply nodded dumbly.

This was the invitation he had been waiting to hear. He nodded too, with a slightly muddled expression, looking as awkward as she felt. But then he took her by the shoulder and gently brought her forward against him, their lips meeting. Amy's eyes fluttered close as they made contact, suddenly overwhelmed with the sensation of drowning.

When the two hedgehogs broke apart they were both breathing heavily. Amy's eyebrows were knitted together, unable to help but ask, "So how was it?"

"Just like the first time," he told her in a quiet half-whisper. "Incredible."

She felt herself blushing, but that was nothing new.

"I will see you tomorrow," he said, peering into her face a little anxiously. "That is, if you'll permit me."

"O-of course," she said, and the corners of his lips twitched upward slightly - a _smile_? - and her heart skipped a beat. Then he turned to leave, and just like that, it was over and he was gone, leaving her alone to regain her bearings.

* * *

She spent the rest of the evening in a daze, sprawled across her couch and trying to keep her mind from getting overly preoccupied with no avail. She idly tried flipping through the channels 

on her television, but almost every station was infested with unrequited love or romantic comedies. No matter what the genre, there was always a love interest present, and their presence gave her an unsettling feeling, although she couldn't place exactly why. Everything she watched reminded her of him, and he wondered if he was thinking of her too, with the same lost feeling.

It was around ten-thirty when the doorbell suddenly rang, causing her to jump in fright. Was it Shadow? She immediately leap to her feet and ran to the door, throwing it open with a dramatic flourish.

However, it wasn't Sonic waiting for her on the other side, but Sonic, looked slightly haphazard in the darkness that surrounded him. Her stomach gave an unpleasant lurch, and for the first time she was almost disappointed to see him. "Oh, hello, Sonic," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "What brings you here at this time of night?" As if they both didn't already know.

"I'm sorry," Sonic said, and he looked as though he truly did mean it. "Can I come inside?" He didn't really wait for a reply and simply came forward without invitation.

"Uhm, sure," she said uselessly, because he had already passed her, turning around so that he could face her as she closed the door. "Do you want something to drink? Juice or something?" She pointedly tried to avoid his gaze as she made a beeline for the kitchen.

"Actually, no." Sonic said, and it was with great reluctance that she stopped and turned around. She mentally steeled herself for what was coming next, trying to formulate a rebuttal before he could even pose an argument. "I want to talk to you."

She internally winced. "Okay, let's have a seat, then," she said, and led him down to the couch. They sat down beside each other and she slowly turned to face him, mentally preparing for an angry outburst from the person whose opinions mattered most to her. She gazed upon his face and expected to see anger etched there - but what she really saw there was something far worse - something that was a lot like sadness.

_He's disappointed_, she realized, her insides twisting into knots. Unexpectedly, it was a thousand times worse than having him be mad at her. She wanted him to shout; she wanted him to be angry, to be disgusted, to express horror at her choice in companionship. The only thing she saw, however, was that he was hurt.

"Sonic," she said quickly, before he could begin. "I know what you're going to say. Please don't."

"So it's true then?" he asked with a grimace, as though his worst fears were being confirmed. "Are you guys really dating?"

It took her a long time to answer. "I don't know," she said finally, and it was the truth. Sonic looked pained.

"I thought I told you to wait on me," he said, a little desperately.

Amy took a deep breath. "Sonic, I've waited on you my whole life," she said, and it was suddenly difficult for her to speak. She had a horrible lump in her throat that seemed to get worth with every labored breath. "I've waited _years _for you to come around. Do you think it's really fair that I put my life on hold indefinitely?"

"No," Sonic muttered, looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap. "No, of course not." He looked up, and his eyes were wide and pleading. "But I was almost ready," he tried again, his voice coming out a little hoarse. "I was just about to take that first leap..."

"Sonic, I'm not saying that I'm giving up on you completely!" Amy tried to explain, already feeling herself succumbing to despair. She cursed herself internally for being weak - for letting things like this get to her, when she had done nothing wrong. Sonic would always have that effect on her - that ability to inspire feelings. He would always have her heart in some manner, would always have some kind of hold over her. More than anything, she didn't want to hurt him, but -

"I want to kiss you," Sonic said suddenly, and Amy felt a chill sneak its way up her spine. She stared at him, too-aware of her own thundering pulse. Did he know that these were the exact same words Shadow uttered to her, some twenty-four hours prior? Did he know, that in this moment, he was Shadow's mirror image?

"Why?" she asked him slowly, half-afraid of what he might say.

But he wasn't Shadow. He would never be Shadow. They were on completely different wave-lengths, and it had only been by chance that they had both begun with the same choice words. But then again, there was no such thing as coincidence. So what did this mean? "Because... because I want to. I _need_ to. Can I?"

"Sonic," Amy said uncertainly. "I don't know if that's a good idea..."

"Amy," Sonic said, looking anguished. "_Please_."

"Okay," she said, nodding numbly. It was against her better judgment that she agreed, although Sonic's eyes lit up with promise. That alone almost made it worth it, despite the fact they were trespassing into dangerous territory.

"Thank you," he said, looking relieved. She gazed into his eyes, peering into brilliant green optics that matched her own. He regarded her with a half-lidded stare, observing the contours of her face in apparent wonder as he leaned in. She was vaguely aware of his hands on her shoulder, gently reeling her in so that they could meet at a half-way point. It was at that moment that she could bear the sight of his handsome face no longer, and let her eyes fall gently closed.

Their lips met and Amy felt like she was soaring, carried by the strength of his wings. She spiraled upwards, higher, higher, lost against the soft feel of his mouth gently exploring her own. She felt his hand move upwards to stroke her quills before lightly brushing her cheek. The entire experience felt like a glorious eternity, stretching unto infinity, making her feel light and open and beautiful. It was everything she had ever dreamed, holding an almost ethereal quality to it. It was also unlike anything else she had ever experienced. There was absolutely no comparison.

And abruptly, it was over, Sonic pulling away and watching her intently, as though to chart her reaction. Amy had to shake away the feeling of euphoria as she came spiraling gently back down to Earth again, crossing the threshold into reality. She stared at him, her mouth parted in a slight 'o' shape.

"Did you feel it?" he asked her quietly, and his hands gathered one of her own, guiding to her heart. Beneath her chest, it pounded violently. "Right here?"

"Sonic..."

"I know, I know." But he _didn't_ know. How could he ever understand? And furthermore, how much of this was genuine, and how much of it was only here because he suddenly couldn't have her? She was too aware of how Shadow had acted like a catalyst for them - and how he also put up an irrevocable barrier, although Sonic was deliberately pretending that it did not exist. Amy was suddenly acutely aware that whatever she had just done was the ultimate act of betrayal. This wasn't fair to Shadow, she thought suddenly, this was not fair to him at all. She abruptly snatched her hand away.

"You'll understand soon," Sonic promised her, looking at her sadly. "I can make you understand." He seemed to be trying to convince himself more-so than he was trying to make an impression on her personally. "I'm sorry. I should probably go..."

"Yeah, maybe..." Amy agreed, suddenly eager to rid herself of his presence. Strange feelings were unraveling inside of her, familiar, old feelings that felt wrong now, somehow. She wanted to be alone - to mull over these things and clear her head.

Sonic got to his feet slowly. Amy followed suit and led him to the door, opening expectantly for him and waiting for him to go away. As he made his way down the steps and into the darkness beyond however, he threw her one last fleeting look.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"I know you are," she told him quietly, and shut the door on his face.


	9. kick the can, skip and blackjack

She was awoken by the sound of her bedroom door being slowly opened. She heard his heavy footsteps along the hardwood floor, followed by the rustling of covers as he pushed them forcibly aside to slide into bed beside her. She knew before she opened her eyes that it was him, by the way he walked, the sound of his labored breathing, and by the feel of his rough, wiry fur against her own.

"Shadow," she sighed, as he pressed himself along her back. "We can't keep meeting like this. It's called breaking and entering."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his breath hot against the back of her neck.

"I thought you wanted to be alone," she mused sleepily, nestling deeper into her pillow. "Or is it Tuesday already?" Her gaze flickered lazily to her bedside table, where her alarm clock was situated. The green digital numbers flashed 12:04.

"Barely," they both said at once, and she giggled. Emboldened by this, he inched slightly closer so that his legs were touching the back of her knees. Still, he seemed hesitant to touch her more openly.

"You like being close, don't you?" she muttered, and she rolled onto her back so that she could look at him. He was positioned on one hip, facing her, his eyes a beacon of scarlet light in the darkness. In the past, she might have found such an unwavering stare to be unsettling. Now, however, the presence of his gaze, trained so intently upon her, was flattering. She lifted one hand to touch the side of his face, suddenly empowered by her state of only semi-consciousness, and he visibly flinched. "Close, but without direct contact..." she rectified, allowing her hand to fall uselessly back against her side.

For a long time Shadow didn't say anything. Amy felt herself drifting in and out of dreamless sleep, only half-attentive to what was transpiring around her.

"Can I kiss you?" he finally asked.

"Shadow, real couples don't ask one another for permission."

"Is that we are?" he asked her quietly. "A couple?"

"I don't know," Amy said. _That one is entirely up to you_. "Are we?"

Shadow seemed to consider the notion. A few minutes later he said, "Maybe."

It was better than Amy could have hoped for and she nodded, satisfied. Shadow was watching her unblinkingly with a slight frown on his face, looking troubled. Amy watched a flicker of emotion cross his wasted face, vaguely curious as to what he was so preoccupied with. One of his legs twitched restlessly against the side of her own and Amy's eyebrows knitted together.

"Shadow," she whispered tiredly. "Have you slept at all since you left?"

"No," he told her honestly.

_What have you been doing, then, in the meantime? _she didn't ask. "Close your eyes." He nodded dumbly and reluctantly squeezed his eyes shut. Amy made a sound of approval and leaned forward, gently kissing him on each eyelid before lying down again beside him. Then she let her own eyes fall gently closed. They lay in silence.

"Do you know what you are to me, Amy?" Shadow asked her eventually, breaking the quiet of the room.

"What?" she asked him, slightly annoyed.

"You're my guiding star," he whispered, almost reverently. "My new Maria."

"Shadow," Amy said exasperatedly, although she was smiling. "Go to sleep."

* * *

Something loud and shrill pierced the otherwise silent room, startling Amy so badly that she flopped out of bed and onto the floor.

"_What_?" she demanded to no one in particular, glaring about the room malevolently. Shadow peered over the edge of the bed and looking at her sprawled out form on the floor interestedly.

"What time is it?" she demanded, and then the phone rang again.

Shadow's tilted his head back in the direction of her clock. "Four-fifteen," he said, and the phone gave another noisy burst. "I think someone's trying to get a hold of you," he said, as if she had not yet realized this.

"No kidding." She grabbed the bed-skirt and lifted herself to her feet, staggering around in the darkness until she located the source of all the commotion. She ripped the receiver off of the post and put it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Amy," came Sonic's voice, and he sounded slightly panicked. She could hear yelling in the background. "Rouge has been attacked."

The pink hedgehog's face drained completely of color. "A-attacked?" she asked in a hoarse whisper, her fist gripping the receiver so tightly that her knuckles were white. "What happened?" Behind her, Shadow had gone completely still, and she wondered if he could hear the blue hedgehog on the other end.

"Can't say, really, but she's got a nasty bump on her head. The emerald is gone."

"Where are you guys?"

"The hospital. Listen, Amy--"

"We're on our way."

"_'We_?'" Sonic asked, but she was too busy hanging up on him on him to answer. Immediately she whirled around to face Shadow, who was watching her with his usual emotionless stare.

"Shadow," Amy began, taking a deep breath. "Before we leave, I need to know--"

"Is she okay?" Shadow interrupted, and there was a look of genuine concern on his face. It was in that moment that she knew he could not have done it; no one was that good of an actor. He was honestly worried about her well-being. Amy felt suddenly ashamed of herself for even beginning to ask, but she knew that would be the foremost question on everybody else's mind.

"We're about to find out," Amy said, scrambling to find a coat to put on over her pajamas. "Let's go."

* * *

Sonic and Tails were waiting for them in the hallway outside of Rouge's room when they arrived. The kit expressed alarm at the sight of Shadow, and Sonic did not look especially pleased by his presence.

"Where's Knuckles?" Amy asked immediately.

"Inside." Sonic jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the closed door. Amy immediately began to step forward, Shadow at her heels, but Sonic threw out an arm to stop them.

"Uh, Amy," Sonic said, his eyes flashing between Amy and Shadow a little uncertainly. "Maybe Shadow should wait outside with us..."

"He's her friend too, you know," Amy told Sonic coolly. "He has just as much right to see her as anyone else." And before Sonic could stop her she pushed open the door and stepped inside.

She had barely crossed the threshold into the room when there was an explosion of movement and suddenly Shadow was pitched backwards into a wall. Amy whipped around to see that it was Knuckles who had thrown him, seemingly effortlessly. The enraged echidna came forward for seconds after Shadow as he slid down from the wall, but this time Shadow was ready; there was a crackle of raw energy, and then a sound like gun shot as the hedgehog disappeared and then reappeared behind Knuckles. The echidna startled and pivoted on his heel, enormous fists clenched as he took a lethal swipe, but Shadow was faster - his fist made contact first and sent the other animal reeling. As Knuckles staggered in an attempt to regain his balance there was another bang, and then Shadow appeared to the left of him.

"Is that her Emerald you're using to teleport?" Knuckles snarled, and he dove sideways at the other hedgehog. "_Is it_?" Shadow disappeared again and the echidna went straight-first into the wall.

"STOP!" Amy screamed, leaping between the two before they could tussle again. Knuckles' face was contorted into an ugly shape, barbed fists put up in front of him. He was literally shaking in uncontrollable anger.

"Amy," the Guardian said, his teeth bared. "If you know what's good for you, you'll get the hell out of my way--"

"Or else what?" Amy demanded, trying her best to appear brave. In truth, Knuckles' anger scared her - he was a lot bigger, meaner, and stronger than she was. Still, she refused to shrink away from his towering sight.

"Or else I'll--"

"You will not touch her," Shadow said plainly, the quiet confidence of his voice holding a terrible threat. He made no move to further assault the echidna, but it wasn't because he didn't want to.

This seemed to snap Knuckles out of his trance. "What?" he asked, looking almost confused. The he narrowed his eyes at the black hedgehog, shaking his head in disbelief. "I would _never_ touch Amy. _I'm_ not some freak who beats up girls and steals their belongings!"

"He didn't take the Emerald!" Amy shouted, her face barely inches from Knuckles' own. "Shadow, tell him!"

"I didn't take the Emerald."

"Guys?" Sonic inquired, poking his head in from the doorway.

"See! Happy, now?"

"I like how you believe him," Knuckles snarled back. "Remember what I told you earlier, Amy! You're being blinded by your ignorance!"

"Uh, guys..."

"You're _raving_," Amy said scornfully, folding her arms across her chest.

"And you're being completely illogical--"

"Says the shouting, overly irrational echidna," Amy scoffed.

"Yeah, well--"

"GUYS!" Sonic suddenly bellowed, and Amy and Knuckles jumped. Shadow merely lifted one eyebrow in acknowledgement. As the three shifted to stare, Sonic nodded vigorously and rubbed his hands together, as if just having just accomplished a very unsavory task. "Right. I'm sure everyone's entitled to their opinion," he gave a little nod in Amy and Shadow's direction, and then gave a sympathetic grimace at Knuckles when the echidna glared at him. "But seeing as Rouge is currently unconscious, we have no way of knowing for sure. So we can't jump to conclusions." Knuckles opened his mouth to make an angry retort, but Sonic held up one hand in protest. "Yeah I know, Knux. Believe me, I _know_." With that same hand he began to rub the side of his head, massaging his temples. "But let's temporarily push that aside for a moment. Right now the only thing that matters is Rouge."

For the first time Amy was given a moment to turn her attention to Rouge, and she felt an almost sympathetic pang for Knuckles, despite their previous argument. The bat was sporting a fantastic bump on the back of her head, along with a developing black eye. She was draped limply across the hospital bed, her head lulled slightly to one side. She was hooked up with a food tube and a heart monitor. She had not even responded remotely to all the commotion in the room, despite its liveliness. She was completely despondent.

"Will she be okay?" Amy asked, her hands clasped anxiously before her.

"Eventually," Sonic answered before Knuckles, as the echidna seemed to have temporarily lost the ability to speak. "But she's gonna be here for a while."

Amy couldn't help but turn her gaze to Shadow. The black hedgehog was watching the prone form of Rouge apparent difficulty. His head was tilted slightly away so that he wasn't directly looking at her. It was apparent that he was deeply affected by the sight of his unconscious friend.

"I need to go," he said suddenly, breaking the room free from its trance. Amy chewed on her bottom lip.

"Shadow--" She reached out uselessly to stop him, but the hedgehog had already passed her and stepped out into the hall. She ran to the door and peered around the side of it, but he was already halfway past the nurse's station. She turned back to the others worriedly to see that Knuckles had rounded on her, apparently to give her a piece of his mind.

"Knuckles," Sonic said warningly.

"Sonic, if you think for a _second_--"

"Knuckles," Sonic said, firmer this time, but without any kind of heat. His expression was deeply sympathetic. "Now is not the time, nor the place." He turned to Amy as she came back into the room. "Amy, I will be honest with you. I trust Shadow about as far as I can throw him, and I was never good at shot-put--"

"Sonic," Amy said, a little desperately.

Sonic shook his head. "--But as I've told you before, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. We have no hard evidence - at this time," he added quickly, sneaking a glance at the irate echidna. "But regardless of who beat Rouge up - whether it was Robotnik or... someone else," he said, choosing his words with deliberate care, "one thing is certain: this is bad news. And so, we've got to do something about it."

"I thought you already _did_ do something about it," Amy said. "Didn't you already steal one from Robotnik?"

"Yeah, but that's one," Sonic said, showing her his index finger. "Assuming Rouge had one, we have one, and Shadow has one, that's three. That means that there's four remaining. And we already know that Robotnik now has Rouge's. So that's one to our one, and we can assume he's not gonna stop there. Even if Robotnik doesn't get _all_ the Emeralds, five or six can still be a formidable number." He nodded sagely. "Obviously, we can't let that happen.

"Fortunately for us, though, Tails has rigged up a little gizmo thing so we can track the remaining Emerald's whereabouts. Right, Tails?"

"Right!" the little fox chirped in, producing a compass-looking computer that had a radar output on it. "See, we can very clearly see all the Emeralds here. This one," Tails said, indicating a singular dot on the holographic map that expanded before them. "Is our's, safely hidden. Then there's Shadow's," he pointed again. "And these two," he indicated two closely knit-dots, "Are Eggman's..."

"Wait, so he's got _two_?" Amy asked, looking up at the group in alarm.

Sonic and Knuckles exchanged glances. Tails looked worried.

"Okay, well now we _really_ got to get a move on," Sonic said, appearing deeply troubled. "Eggman's beating us to the punch. Alright. Tails and Knuckles, you know what to do. Go find that one, in, uhmm..."

"Pumpkin Hill," Knuckles said immediately, who was a lot better at reading maps than Sonic was. He slammed one enormous fist into his open palm. "I know that place well. C'mon, Tails."

"Right!" Tails said, and he turned to Sonic, waving the compass in one hand, blurring the image. "Sonic, you need this...?"

"Let me take a quick look at it." It exchanged hands and Sonic took a quick glance. "Right, that's easy. It's located in the Mystic Ruins." He passed it back to Tails, who pocketed it. "Okay guys, I'll catch you later." The fox and echidna nodded before immediately turning around and running off. Sonic and Amy watched them go.

"So," Amy said, turning to face Sonic a little reluctantly. "I guess I'll see you around..."

"Actually," Sonic said, and he glanced around them, as if to catch someone listening in. Apparently satisfied that no one was, he continued, "I want you to come with me."

Amy couldn't mask her look of surprise. "You do?"

"Yeah, I do. I kind of need you for this one." He looked down at shoes, and then said, "of course, if you don't want to come, I understand. It could be dangerous..."

"It's not that," Amy said, still not completely overcoming her shock. "It's just that - well, a lot of times you like to leave me behind..."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed. "I just don't want you to get hurt." He extended one hand out for her to clasp. "So you want to go, then?"

It took Amy a moment to respond. "Yeah," she said finally, and she slipped her hand in his own.

"Alright, then," Sonic said, and suddenly he yanked her off her feet and swept her up into his arms. He broke out into a run as they rounded the door and exploded into the hallway. Amy shrieked in surprise but Sonic paid her no heed, his eyes alight with the prospect of thrills and adventure. "Let's gooooo!"


	10. in that lifeless book of hope

"Sonic!" Amy called over the roar of the wind that whipped at their faces as Sonic ran. "Shouldn't we take the train?"

Sonic flashed her an award-winning smile. "Nah, this is better."

"But wouldn't the train be faster?"

"Amy, I'm the fastest thing alive."

"But you can't keep up that speed forever; that's why we take the train."

"Oh yeah? Watch me." He clutched her tighter against his chest as he went in a full tilt, trying to make his body as streamlined and aerodynamic as possible. His feet were a blur of motion as they began to pick up the pace, going even faster than before. Amy stared at him, wide-eyed, and Sonic tossed back his head and laughed. This was all for show, she realized. He was trying to impress her. The thought made her slightly annoyed.

"Sonic, I think you're getting far too much enjoyment out of this."

"Oh yeah? And what's wrong with having a little fun?"

"Hmm, I don't know," the little pink hedgehog said sarcastically. She feigned contemplation as she stroked her chin as best as she could, considering the awkward angle. "Maybe because Rouge is in the hospital and Robotnik could be on his way to get the emerald_ right now."_

"Don't fret, Amy. We'll deal with things as they come. Right now, we're making good time, I swear." They had long since abandoned city streets, having opted for a more rural route. The open grasslands and dirt roads were being thinner and more precarious, however, and Amy saw that any trace of a man-made pathway abruptly disappeared directly ahead: the only thing before them was a cliff-side that shot straight up.

"Uh, Sonic..."

"Don't worry," Sonic said, beginning to make a wide arc and they began to scale the side of the mountain instead. Around the bend there was the tunnel that the train used to cross over into the Mystic Ruins, suspended some twenty-five feet off of the ground and connected by a concrete bridge. Sonic was heading straight at it. "You ready?"

"No!" Amy said, and she couldn't help but close her eyes. The impact never came, however, and suddenly she felt herself gaining lift. She opened them again: Sonic had jumped sideways, with surprising grace and agility, straight at the support beams suspending the bridge. He landed with the sound of crunching gravel and pushed off, rocketing the two of them toward a tree on the left just a few feet away. Amy screamed but Sonic shifted in mid-air and landed again, pushing off to shoot them back at the structure in the direction whence they had came. He shifted again and ricocheted off, adjusting so that he could ping-pong off of another tree. They did this several times in rapid succession, and Amy realized Sonic was landing steadily higher up on the pillars 

sustaining the bridge with each jump. He could nearly clear the top of the branches, now - and, having reached the altitude that he had wanted, leap one last time and sent them hurtling straight through the tunnel at supersonic speed.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Sonic said, after they had hit the ground running and skipped several dozen feet before regaining traction. "You having fun yet?"

"Sonic, I don't think this is supposed to be _fun_," Amy protested, still thinking about Rouge's lifeless form back in the hospital.

"And why not? Rouge'll be okay," Sonic told her confidently, as if reading her thoughts. His brilliant green eyes were homed in on the light at the end of the tunnel. "And we're about to get ourselves an Emerald."

"And what if Robotnik beats us there?"

"He won't. And even if he did, we could take him." He snorted a little. "C'mon Amy, you act like I haven't done this thousands of times before..."

"_You're_ the one who was stressing the sense of urgency," Amy reminded him tartly, clutching to his shoulders for dear life as they went screaming through the darkness. "Aren't you being a little... well, reckless?"

"Amy, I've _always_ been reckless," Sonic said, and it wasn't without some amount of pride. "It goes hand-in-hand with the whole hero thing. You've got to have very specific timing to make a good entrance."

"And by a good entrance, you mean being too late?"

"Who says we're gonna be late? And even if we _were_, it would only be fashionably late," Sonic said, and Amy had the feeling that if he wasn't holding her, he would have shrugged. "I always come in the nick of time to save the day. I've practically got this down to a _science_."

"But Sonic..."

"Amy, what's with you? You've pulled a 180 on me since the other night. Wasn't _I _the one who told you _I_ was an idiot? And didn't _you_ deny it? You've never had beef with the why or how before," Sonic clarified, shaking his head, "just so long as it happened. So who cares?"

Amy blinked. She hadn't really thought about that, and he was right - she had never had a problem with it before. He was right on something else too - they _had_ just had this conversation a few days with the roles reversed. This was just another indication of how Shadow had influenced their relationship. "Well, maybe I'm a little anxious because it's Shadow's reputation on the line," she admitted grudgingly, after a moment of careful consideration. "I mean, what if we show up and it's already gone? We wont know it was Robotnik for sure, and you guys will keep blaming him. All because you wanted to take a completely unnecessary detour."

"Amy, even if we took the train and showed up there first, we still wouldn't know if he was guilty or not, because it wouldn't be stolen, right? We wouldn't see him in action," Sonic reasoned, although his voice had taken on a strange tune. "We would still blame him anyway."

"'We'?" Amy asked. "So you _do_ think he did it?"

"Dude, we already went over this _too_," Sonic said, sounding a little exasperated. The light before them was now steadily approaching, growing rapidly larger with Sonic's every footstep. "Here we go. Make sure you hang on!" The exit of the tunnel went whipping past and suddenly they exploded outside as the wind came rushing up to meet them. Without any real warning, Sonic leap and the two of them were sent hurtling off to the side, sideways down through a dense forest of trees. Amy threw up her hands to shield her face as the branches went streaking past, scratching her arms as they fell. Suddenly there was an enormous splash and the two of them crashed into waist-deep water.

"Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean to land right _here_," Sonic said absently, sloshing around ungracefully as he scrambled for the shore some several feet away. He seemed uncharacteristically distracted all of a sudden, but Amy figured he had good reason to be: Sonic was a terrible swimmer. He trudged up onto the muddy banks and he cast an almost admiring look back at the rushing current of the river. Amy could see that he was mentally congratulating himself. "Broke our fall though. Pretty cool." He set Amy gently down before him, apparently inspecting for any kind of lasting damage. "You okay?"

"Just a few scratches," Amy said absently, checking her dress for rips and tears.

"Aw, Amy, I'm sorry," Sonic said, setting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to saw that he truly meant it. "I didn't pull off that last move as spectacularly as I had originally intended."

"Don't worry. It's purely cosmetic," Amy said, and she could feel herself blushing beneath the scrutiny of his emerald-hued stare.

"Sometimes I forget how tough you are," Sonic said, with a slightly sardonic smile. "Wielding that pico pico hammer, smashin' up the bad-guys... going on a little treasure hunt is a total cake-walk for us seasoned warriors, right?" He flashed her a wink and then looked at the area surrounding them. Miles of trees stretched before them in every direction and Sonic frowned, squinting into the distance. "Now I know it's around here somewhere, but I'm not sure _exactly_ where... I hate to say it, but maybe I should have asked to keep the radar. Knux is much better at this sort of thing I am.. he's practically got a built-in radar, right here," he thumbed himself on the forehead a little too enthusiastically, and then rubbed the spot tenderly. "Ouch. Anyway. Should we split up? I don't like it, but it might be quicker that way..."

"Yeah," Amy said, eager to start combing the area for the Emerald and clear Shadow's name. Even if she couldn't make Knuckles believe her when she said he hadn't taken Rouge's, she could at least eliminate any argument that Shadow had gotten this one, too - at least if Sonic nabbed it first. The thought gave her a little comfort. "You go there." She pointed in one direction. "And I'll head South." She pointed behind her. "If we don't find anything by..." she chewed her lower 

lip, and turned her head thoughtfully to the lightening sky above them. It was almost sunrise. "...Uhm, noon? We should meet up. Over there." She pointed over to where the tunnel emerged from the wall. "At the base of that bridge."

Sonic seemed reluctant to agree. "Well..."

"Well, what?" she asked him, putting her hands on her hips. "The longer we sit here idly twiddling our thumbs, the longer it's gonna take to find the thing! And by then Robotnik could already have figured out that it's in here, somewhere." She gestured to the rows upon rows of identical trees that dotted the countryside.

"Calm down there, tiger," Sonic said, throwing up his hands in defense. Amy glared at him and he tilted his head to one side. "You're really convinced this guy is innocent, aren't you? You must really care about him," he mused thoughtfully, as if he was just beginning to take the idea seriously. "You're just rearin' to go."

Amy emitted a deep sigh. "Yes, Sonic," she said, closing her eyes. "I really do."

"I was afraid you'd say that," Sonic said, seeming to deflate a little. "Well, I could always dream..." He gave a little half-hearted shrug, but she could tell that her words had stung. He turned to amble off.

"Sonic, wait!" Amy said suddenly, reaching out to grab him.

Sonic turned back to face her, her arm hanging uselessly out in the open air between them. "Yeah?

"Sonic, maybe I..." Belatedly, she realized she was trying to explain herself. "I don't think you... well... I don't know. Do you believe in God?" she asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Okay, maybe I shouldn't ask that," Amy said, and she wrapped her arms around herself. "But assuming you believe in God, let's say, or a higher power, or _whatever,_ you do it without scientific or physical proof. You just _believe_, right? That's faith. Are you following me?"

"Sort of," Sonic said, watching her renewed interest.

Amy sighed. "Well... People just _believe_ in a higher power, without any definite evidence that proves it, right? That's just the way faith works. And... well, that's like how it is with Shadow. You guys are so determined to hate him. Which is fine: you two have faced off in the past and you have that whole quasi-rivalry thing going, so it's only natural to feel some level of mistrust, right? The way you see it, since you're the good guy, that has to automatically make him the bad-guy, because you guys often have opposing viewpoints. It's like, the natural order of things. That's how you see it: in terms of black and white. But maybe that's not the way it really is. Maybe it's deeper than that.

"Meanwhile, I'm determined to find the good in him. Because... well, I know he can be considered, well, shady at times, but I _also_ know that beneath all the accumulated crap he's built up from isolation, he has a good heart. No matter what you say, I know he isn't the kind of person to beat up his friends. And Rouge _was_ his friend, Sonic, no matter how you look at it. They may not have had a relationship like you and I, let's say, but you couldn't deny that they were close." She looked up to see if she had made an impression on Sonic whatsoever, but he just seemed to be regarding her with a deeply skeptical look. She sighed and shook her head, well aware that she was ranting. Still, she proceeded.

"Whatever. Anyway, the point I was trying to make: _you_ know he's guilty. I know he isn't. But neither of us have anything to prove or disprove what we think. We just _know._ So please, please try to keep an open mind and... try not to think too poorly of me."

"Amy," Sonic said slowly. "Why are you making excuses for yourself?"

"I'm not making excuses."

"Then why are you telling me all this?"

"Because..." Amy said, and she actually wasn't sure. "Because... your opinion means a lot to me," she admitted quietly. "And I don't want you to hate me."

"Amy, I could never hate you," Sonic admonished, apparently shocked by the statement. "That's like, physically impossible." She smiled at him, reassured by the statement. She was almost ready to tell him that they should get a move on, that it was getting late, but something about Sonic's expression had changed entirely and she waited. He watched her for a moment, seeming to mull something over in his head, and then suddenly said, "But I _do_ think you're giving the guy a little too much credit. How well do you really know him, anyway? How really do _any_ of us know him?" He said quickly, putting a hand on her shoulder again to silence her angry retort. "That's what I'm saying. The guy is unpredictable, at best. And well, as much as I hate to say it, all signs point to 'jerk'. We certainly know he's capable of it. Look at the whole ARK incident."

"Well, look at what_ else_ he was capable of," Amy responded, flaring up immediately. "He sacrificed himself to save himself for millions of people!"

"For _Maria_," Sonic reminded her. ("And me," Amy murmured, but the other hedgehog didn't hear her.) "What makes you think he isn't capable of something else equally devious though? We already know he's suffered from amnesia. His perspective could be a little... how can we say this delicately? Warped. More so than before, I mean. It could put a whole new spin on just what kind of dude he is. And he was _already_ a twisto."

"He promised me, Sonic," Amy said, nearly pleading now. "He gave me his word."

"And you think you'll have any influence over him? Some girl he barely knows?" Sonic shook his head, smiling at her with a look that greatly resembled pity. For a minute, she hated him. Then she felt her eyes begin to swim with tears as loathing gave way to despair. They went unnoticed, however, and Sonic continued to blunder on, oblivious to her obvious agony. "I'm sorry, Amy, but you're being ridiculous. You can't replace Maria. You could _never_ be her. And _especially_ not in just a few weeks."

"I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MARIA!" She bellowed suddenly.

Sonic actually leap back, startled beyond words by her sudden outburst. Admittedly, she was a little shocked by it, too - the mere suggestion of Maria had worked as a catalyst, sending her violently over the edge with a spectacular explosion. She was actually trembling with rage and sadness, rolling over her in waves that left her feeling drained and fatigued.

"Whoa, Amy," he said, finally taking notice of her tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was being so... so insensitive... Jeez, I'm such a jerk..."

He clasped each hand on either one of her shoulder's and pulled her against him. She flopped bonelessly in his embrace, resistant to his charms, crying freely now. She was gasping with breath when he released her, angrily dragging her forearm across her face to wipe away the tears. "Y-you don't understand," she moaned accusingly.

"No, you're right," Sonic admitted honestly, with eyes as large as dinner-plates. He looked a little off-put by the extremity of her sobs. "I don't understand it at all. Something's up with you, Amy. How did you fall so hard, so fast?"

"Don't even suggest it," she managed to gasp between sobs. "He's not a rebound, he's not a replacement, _don't you dare compare him to you_--"

"Amy!" Sonic cried, aghast. "That's not what I'm saying at all!"

"Yes it is!" she told him shrilly, hiccupping as her racing thoughts gained momentum inside of her. "That's what you _want_ it to be! I bet that'd make you feel better, wouldn't it? Knowing that I'm trying to find another you. It would make winning me over that much easier, wouldn't it? Because that's what you're trying to do, showing off and carrying on when we're supposed to be finding Chaos Emeralds before Robotnik does. Meanwhile Rouge is in a coma but that's perfectly fine, isn't it? You don't even care, do you? Is that all this whole thing is to you, a game, or - or a competition or something? Funny, how you never seemed interested in me until after you'd thought I had found someone else--"

"Amy, you are out of your freakin' mind!" Sonic yelled, clenching his fists at his sides. "That is such utter crap, and _you and I both know it_! I told you I had feelings for you before I even know one retarded thing about you and Shadow--"

"Liar!" Amy screamed. "You thought we had hooked up in the forest! I remember!"

"What the - I - you - No way!" Sonic sputtered, his face bright red. "I was just joking, I thought you'd got that part!" But if he was telling the truth it was only a half-truth, and it was clear he knew that she knew it.

"See!"

"It doesn't even MATTER," Sonic continued loudly, his voice ringing through the trees. "Because I had planning on doing it for a while now, before Shadow even tried to off himself, before this whole stupid thing ever began! I was just getting ready to take the first step--"

"You're always making excuses, Sonic," Amy snarled hatefully. "If you were just about ready, what was the hold up? What was taking you so long?!"

"I WAS SCARED, OKAY?" Sonic hollered, and the sound of his voice carried through the countryside, startling birds into flight in the distance. "I was... I was afraid of being weak... you make me weak... I was afraid you'd hurt me..."

"You're... _what_?" Amy choked, recoiling in disbelief. "How could I... that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard..." She winced, not sure the best thing to do at the present moment was to insult him, but Sonic plowed deafly on, apparently caught up in the current of his own confession.

"It's new to me, Amy! I've never felt anything like this before... and I didn't want to hurt you as well, to hurt either of us! I wanted to wait a long time and make sure it was genuine! The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you, Amy... because... because I love you! _Did you hear me_? I love you! Are you happy now?!" And he suddenly grabbed her by the back of her head and yanked her forward, bruising her lips with his own.

It wasn't romantic by any means - it hurt, and it was awkward, and it lacked the certain finesse Sonic had tried to put into their earlier kiss. But at the same time, it was raw and savage and _honest,_ and the purity of it was nearly crippling. She could tell that Sonic was putting his all into this kiss - that he wasn't trying to make it pretty, or artful, or superficial - he made it purposely animalistic and forceful, desperately trying to convey a point to her with its power, however fruitless the attempt may have been. There was no bravado here - he wasn't trying to simply _kiss_ her, or win her over, or impress her in any manner - they were beyond all that now, and he knew that he had lost. This was a kiss of hurt and pain and loss and desperate yearning, passionate and poignant in its brutality. It caused an explosion of chaotic feelings to erupt inside of her, and she felt herself sway beneath the feel of his rough hands on her shoulders.

After what seemed like an eternity they broke apart. Amy dragged her arm across her mouth to wipe away the spit as she stumbled back and Sonic tried his best to regain his breathing. He was standing with his legs slightly spread, arms swung out on either side, as though preparing to flee. He looked exactly like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car before it was struck, terrified and thunderstruck. This was Sonic at his worst, most vulnerable point. It was something that almost frightened her, and for a long time she could not find the words to speak.

Amy's heart was pounding in her ears. Eventually, she asked, "So is that what it's really like?"

"Yeah," Sonic affirmed, breathing heavily. "That's what it was really like." He seemed just as stunned as she was by this strange turn of events. "I'm just sorry that it took so long for me to just come out and _say_ it."

"I know you are," Amy murmured. The sheer velocity of the kiss had literally sucked the anger right out of her and she felt like sitting down. The whole aftermath of the situation had a surreal, almost dream-like quality to it. She felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, viewing the whole episode from an outside, almost detached perspective. She found an overturned log behind her and stumbled backwards into it.

"Are you okay?" Sonic asked, although he appeared to be firmly rooted to the spot. He did not step forward to assist her with sitting down.

"No," she said, and although she was beginning to feel awful again, but it was a different kind of awful than before, and she would not let the tears come.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything!" she cried, staring up at his lingering form in overwhelming anguish. Then she looked down at her hands, which were laced tightly in her lap. "Sonic, we can't... well, what I mean is, I can't..."

"Amy, I'm right here," Sonic said, but his voice was hollow: he had already admitted defeat. "It's me. _Sonic_. Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing it to you because I want to..."

"Yes, you _are_," he insisted, and his voice cracked. He bowed his head and covered his eyes with his hands simultaneously, completely obscuring his face from view. Amy's stomach gave an unpleasant lurch - it looked very much as though he might cry.

_Nononononono_, her mind whispered desperately. _Please don't, you can't, pleasedontpleaseno--_

She was afraid that if he broke down and ripped away the strong, sturdy protagonist persona, it would shatter the illusion, break the perfectly sculpted image she had created of him: the infallible hero. It wouldn't be Sonic. But this _was_ Sonic, and she was trying to rob him of his emotions. It was cruel, and she knew it was cruel, but more than anything she didn't want him to cry, to ruin it for her, for everyone. She wanted him to be okay, and so that in turn, that _she _could be okay with what she was about to do. Because if he was the ever-glowing optimist with the shield that could not be penetrated, he was less humanoid somehow, and she would know that he could move past this and be content. But this, the actuality of what was happening - this! This was a crack in the facade, allowing the real Sonic to reveal himself, a Sonic she had never seen before. This was Sonic, broken, Sonic, defeated - and it scared her, more than anything else in this world.

And she realized that maybe after all this time, she had not been all that fair to him this whole time. That she had never taken his feelings into consideration, not in all the years she had known him. She had always thought of him as somewhat dense, clueless, and maybe a little insensitive to her needs - and that wasn't the case at all. The truth of the matter was that Sonic was actually hyper-sensitive to what was transpiring between them, and was terrified of it. He was frightened of her, frightened of the power she held over him if he admitted it to himself and frightened with how she could use it against him. It was flattering and awe-inspiring and at the same time it was also something that made her feel sick to her stomach. Because now she was fulfilling a self-inflicted prophecy: he had opened up to her and she had done exactly what he was afraid she would do, and that was hurt him. And there was nothing either of them could do to stop it. It was a calamity in which neither side could have foreseen.

_You'll never know how much it hurts me to hurt you_, she thought, her stomach churning painfully. _Is this is how you felt, for all those years? Were you afraid of hurting me, of getting hurt, as much as I'm afraid of being the one to do it to you? Why didn't you tell me sooner! _she thought, suddenly angry. _We could have avoided all of this!_

But it didn't do anyone any good to put the blame on him, except perhaps it made her feel a little better about what was going to happen next. But then again, she wasn't sure that she wanted to be okay with that. Because he was Sonic - her Sonic, and she would always love him too, in some form or another.

"I'm... I'm going to ask you a favor," Amy said, swallowing the especially painful lump that had suddenly occupied the back of her throat.

"... Okay," Sonic said tunelessly.

"Please award me some of same courtesies I've awarded you." Sonic choked at the sound of her words, and she knew how it felt, to be at the mercy of someone else's whims. "Wait for me." She sucked in a huge breath of air, taking it a step further. "If we're meant to be together, we'll be together. But I don't think it's fair to do something half-cocked and then drop it when something better comes along." She nodded, although Sonic had not done a single thing to indicate that he had even heard her. "Yes, I'm saying that you're better. But I mean, Shadow came to me as he was, with his feelings made readily available. There was very little guesswork and waiting involved." This was a lie of mammoth proportions, as she wasn't exactly sure _what_ Shadow felt, but whatever it was, she knew it was a strange and wonderful and she didn't want to abandon it just yet. Either way, she was pretty sure Sonic couldn't tell how much she was actually reaching with that statement. He seemed completely caught up in his own drama.

It was especially weird and uncomfortable to be the one giving this kind of talk, as opposed to being the receiving end, which she had grown more accustomed to over the years. Still, it gave her a twisted sense of power that could almost be misconstrued with perverse pleasure, if it weren't for the fact that she felt so terrible and confused. "I shouldn't just cast him aside, especially when... well, when I've developed feelings for him too..."

Sonic was half-staring, half-glaring at her now, searching her face to see if he could locate any trace of a lie. She tried to keep her gaze level with him, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult as the seconds ticked past.

"I think you're confusing the desire to help him and the desire to be with him," Sonic spat unkindly. "Wanting to mother him and wanting to be his girlfriend are not supposed to be the same thing."

"That's a terrible thing to say!" Amy said, feeling some of her old anger rushing toward the surface. She leapt to her feet and stomped forward until they were just a few centimeters apart, grotesquely invading one another's personal space. "Don't pretend that you get me, Sonic, because you don't! If you did, you would have told me all of this a lot sooner, because you would know that I would _never _hurt you--"

"That's strange," Sonic said contemptuously, rolling his eyes. "Because that's what you seem to be doing _right now_. Or do you like being the center of attention or something? Is that why you're torturing me? You like having two guys fight over you?"

"Who's fighting, except you? Sonic, do you know how long I've waited for you to tell me all that? Honestly?" Amy said as she clenched her fists at her sides. "Do you know how long you've tortured _me_, by making me wait? Years, Sonic! Years I've been suffering in SILENCE! And I'm just supposed to drop everything now that you've come around? My life is just supposed to revolve around entirely you or something, to cater to your every whim? Well, you've got another thing coming, mister, because... because maybe I've decided it took you too long, Sonic! Maybe I got sick of waiting on you!"

"Man, ain't that the truth," Sonic spat. "It's as clear as day to me, now. The fact that you'd switch over to some _faker_ is pretty sad, though. Talk about going backwards, not forwards. It's an insult!"

"You are such an arrogant jerk," Amy said, and she slapped him directly across the face. The blow had enough force behind it that it knocked his head sideways, and he made an audible 'oof!' sound as it made contact. Sonic staggered and fell back a step before rubbing the spot where she had hit him. It was turning a vivid pink beneath his fingertips as he stared at her incredulously. There was a beat in which Amy dared not to speak, afraid of what might happen, and then -

"You're right," he said, and the anger seemed to rush out of him like a deflating balloon. "I am. I totally lost my head there, Amy. Thanks for puttin' me in my place." He seemed incredibly sheepish suddenly, rubbing the back of his head as he tried to give a reassuring smile. It came out more as a grimace, however, and Amy frowned.

"You are so bipolar," she said, but without any sort of disgust backing it. It was in that abrupt moment that they had reverted back to their usual roles - the parts they had played before this whole thing had come unraveling at the seams. It was as if none of it had ever happened.

- But something _had_ happened, and it had changed them forever, no matter how hard they might try to forget in the near future. "Just one last question," he said, and Amy waved him on dismissively, eager to let the whole thing just die

"Has he told you that he loved you?"

"Yes," she lied immediately, so that he would not ridicule her further. She could feel her resolve crumbling with every lingering moment, and she hated herself for allowing it to happen.

_Am I doing the right thing?_

"Okay." Sonic said. "Well, we've wasted enough time on that. Let's get started on findin' that Emerald, whaddya say?" The sudden change in his demeanor made it clear he wanted to dismiss the topic entirely, and she allowed it. And if he had not taken her word for it on the matter, he said nothing to contradict her, and she was relieved that they had avoided another argument. There was no denying they had clashed, however; no denying that blows had been exchanged and wounds had been inflicted. It was these grievances that would probably remain with both sides forever. Things would never be the same, Amy realized wistfully as they both walked off in opposite directions, and she was sorry to see that it had happened that way.


	11. see i was thinking that i lost my mind

"--_Control_!" came Sonic's voice, as beacon of blazing white light struck the ground before Amy like a lightning bolt. The sudden appearance of the cobalt hedgehog startled his pink counterpart so badly that she screamed, hands flying up to shield her face as she was sent sprawling backwards.

"I found it!" Sonic said cheerfully, waving the Emerald triumphantly in the air until he noticed the glowering form of Amy Rose beneath him. He immediately rearranged his face into a more appropriate expression in order to avoid serious injury. "Uhm, whoops."

Amy simply glared at him.

"... Yeah, sorry about that. Here, let me give you a hand." He hooked her under the shoulder one-handedly and hauled her to her feet. For a moment he left his hand clasped there, a physical chain that kept them linked, but when their eyes met Sonic recoiled so violently it was a surprise he didn't get whiplash as he quickly looked away.

"Where was it?" Amy asked him, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible. She was aware that she was blushing, and he was too, a faint pink smear across the front of his face. Sonic seemed grateful for the distraction.

"You know those old Mayan Temples? The ones that I found those murals of Chaos in?" Sonic said, gesturing vaguely behind him. "Over there. On second thought, those ruins seem to be a hot spot when it comes to finding Emeralds," he said, ears pricking forward as the epiphany dawned upon him. "I'll keep that in mind for the future..."

"Mission accomplished, then," Amy said, putting her hands on her hips. "So what do we do next?"

"We head home and wait up on Knux and Tails," Sonic said with a shrug. "Not much else we _can_ do, at least until I can have another look at the radar." He lifted the emerald up to eye-level so that they could both study its contours. It was a deep forest green color that blended in easily with their surroundings. Amy was reminded sharply of Rouge and understood immediately why the bat had an affinity for these particular gems: aside from being extremely powerful, they really were quite pretty.

Sonic dropped his arm to his side. "So, you ready to bend the rules of time and space?" he asked, his voice as casual as if he were asking her out for pizza. Amy couldn't help but grimace.

"Air travel always makes me sick to my stomach," she complained.

"Yeah well, although I hate to say it, this _is_ faster. Plus I'm feeling kind of lazy." He offered Amy his free hand. "C'mon, you know the drill. Let's go."

Amy took him by the elbow. "You? Lazy? The mere thought is inconceivable."

"Yeah, really." Sonic stuck out his tongue at her. "Maybe not laziness per se, but let me tell you, staying up all night and part of the day looking for a needle in a haystack has sucked the life right out of me. I'm ready for bed." He hesitated for a moment.

"What's the hold up?" she demanded. "I thought you wanted to go."

"Hey, hey, I'm doing my pre-flight checks. Have to take passenger safety into consideration, after all," Sonic protested. Seeing her skeptical look, he added, "okay okay, so I'm stalling. I'm a little rusty at this... and maybe it makes me a little queasy too," he said under his breath, and Amy burst out laughing. This seemed to give Sonic the boost of confidence he was looking for, raising the Emerald high above his head as he shouted:

"Chaos Control!"

She could feel the pull, and suddenly everything slowed to a standstill as they levitated into the air. In the distance she could see the birds suspended completely motionless above them between the clouds. Everything was still and quiet and devoid of animation - even the breeze had ceased to be, leaving the world around them virtually lifeless. Amy felt a strange void within her, an eerie feeling that made her fur stand up on end. They floated lazily there, captivated in the timeless moment for what seemed like an eternity before somebody finally flipped the switch. Everything suddenly jumped into fast-forward, hurtling Sonic and Amy through the sky faster than the speed of light. She was dimly aware that she was screaming, voice hoarse as they went streaking through the countryside and into the city limits of Station Square, steadily picking up speed until they were -

- Inside her living room. Amy released Sonic and staggered forward, catching the edge of the couch to keep herself from falling over completely. She glanced around wildly as her heart rate returned to normal, unsure exactly of how they had gotten there. The last time she had traveled this way with Shadow they had landed in the forest, which had seemed a lot more feasible at the time. There had been no physical barrier to keep them from proceeding, like her _roof,_ which Sonic had somehow managed to eclipse in mid-flight without ripping a huge hole through the ceiling in their wake. Amy shook her head, feeling that there was no point in trying to rationalize it - the sheer insanity of it merely made her head hurt.

"Sorry," Sonic said, who looked equally unsettled by their sudden appearance in Amy's home. "Toldja I was out of practice."

"I'll say," Amy said, sinking into one of the nearest armchairs. She watched as Sonic visibly regained his bearings, suddenly walking past her and making his way into the hallway, opening doors and peering into rooms as he went. "Hey! What're you doing?"

Sonic didn't immediately answer her, disappearing into each of the three bedrooms for minutes at a time before coming back into the living room. She watched as he got onto his knees and looked under all the pieces of furniture in the room. "Helloooooo. Earth to Sonic," she said, although she didn't get up to deter his progress. "What you're doing is called an invasion of privacy. Just what're you looking for, anyway?"

"Not looking for anything," Sonic said absently, and he retreated into the kitchen. He looked around for a moment in there as well, going as far as to check the cupboards and under the refrigerator. Apparently satisfied, he came back into the living room where Amy was now regarding him impatiently, arms folded across her chest.

"Sorry. Was just making sure we're alone. Don't want anyone listening in." He cast one look over his shoulder as Amy raised her eyebrows at him.

"And why would that be?"

"Amy," Sonic went down on one knee before the other hedgehog, taking her by the wrist and unfurling one of her palms before him. He slipped the Chaos Emerald into her open hand. "I want you to hang onto this."

"What?" Amy asked him, shocked. "Why?"

"Just listen to me," Sonic said, looking very serious. "I want you to keep this on you at all times, okay? But keep it hidden." She nodded once, transfixed. "I don't want you to tell anyone that I've let you have it. Not Knuckles, not Tails, and most of all, _not_ Shadow."

Amy bristled at the comment. "Hey--"

"_Amy_." It was the direness of his expression that made her snap her mouth shut like a trap. "I'm trying to keep you safe—to keep_ it_ safe. Please don't ask me questions, and just do what I asked. Can you do that for me?" She nodded dumbly.

"Good." He drew himself up to his full height, turning politely aside as Amy stuffed the Emerald down the front of her dress. He faced the door. "Well, I guess I'm gonna roll out."

Amy sat up. "So soon?"

"Yeah." He gave her a smile that was completely devoid of any real enjoyment. "Besides, I'll bet your boyfriend'll be coming around any time now." He gave a little snort and twisted the knob of her front door, stepping out into the world beyond without another word. And just like that, he was gone.

* * *

Sonic was wrong, at least in part - it was nearly midnight when Shadow finally dropped by for a visit. Usually by this time Amy would have been asleep, but she knew the routine by now, and so she waited for him. He came in the same way that Sonic had done earlier, but with considerable more grace; his entrance was done almost entirely without noise, and Amy couldn't help but be badly startled by his sudden appearance. When she saw that it was him, however, she visibly relaxed, rising from her seat to meet him.

"Hello, Shadow."

"Amy." He nodded once, and before he had any time to react she had him by the shoulders, pulling him into a long and passionate kiss. The black hedgehog stood there for a moment, perfectly motionless, and Amy was given the rare opportunity of seeing the other hedgehog completely floored. It took him a couple of seconds to muster up an appropriate reply, which was to kiss her again, albeit a more tentatively, when she finally released him.

After their lips had met for a second time, Shadow said, "well, that was certainly... unexpected. Can I ask why?"

"I did something I felt really badly about today," Amy told him, still hanging onto him by the shoulders. She bit her lower lip. "And I was wondering if I made the right decision."

"And did you?"

"I think so." She smiled. A little more quietly, she asked, "where did you run off to earlier?"

"I... The sight of Rouge unsettled me," Shadow admitted softly, going completely still beneath Amy's hold on him. "Far more than I expected it to. It is... difficult, watching people I care about suffer." He closed his eyes. Amy knew he was thinking about Maria.

"Oh, Shadow." She nuzzled closer, and despite his obvious anguish, she couldn't help but enjoy the feel of his coarse, unkempt fur against her chest. "She'll be okay."

"I know she will," Shadow said, and when he opened his eyes again he was a little more composed. "And you? Where did you go?"

Amy hesitated. But then again, Sonic had never told her she _couldn't_ discuss the journey itself; only the whereabouts of where the Emerald truly was. "He had me play tag-along while he tried to find the remaining Emeralds."

Shadow's expression was cryptic, as always. "And was he successful?"

"Yeah." There was a tense moment. Amy waited for his reaction.

"Well, that's good."

The mood immediately lightened. Amy felt silly for doubting him, even for a second. "Not sure about the others though," she mused absently, a little worried that now she hadn't heard from them or Sonic since he left. "They haven't turned up yet."

"The fox and the echidna? I don't know much about the kit, but that echidna has one nasty left hook." Shadow rubbed his chin absentmindedly as if in remembrance. Amy tried to bite back a smile and he quirked an eyebrow at her. "...But don't tell him I said that," he said, almost as an afterthought and this time, Amy couldn't help it. She lost it completely, bursting into laughter. Shadow looked confused. "What's so funny?" he asked her, frowning deeply.

"You are." She gave a pleasant little sigh, which eventually turned into a yawn. "Let's go to bed," she told him lightly, gently nudging him towards the bedroom as he gave her a questioning look. "The two of us. This time you wont even have to sneak in to be with me..." She giggled.

* * *

She awoke to find the bed empty. She sat up, feeling dazed and confused as she rubbed the sleep away from her eyes. Amy blinked, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness before she finally caught sight of him by the window. He was perched upon its sill as he stared out into the beyond, his posture almost unnaturally still. It was not yet morning, and the only light the darkness offered was that provided by the moon and the stars. He did not stir at the sound of rustling covers, nor at the sound of her feet slowly making her way across the carpeted floor. He did not acknowledge that he knew she was there at all until her hand rested gently on his shoulder, slowly twisting his head around in her direction. All the sadness in the world seemed to be captivated in those scarlet eyes.

"I'm sorry," he told her without preamble.

Amy paused. "What're you sorry about?"

"For dragging you into this."

"Into what?"

He returned his gaze to the world outside. "Amy, it was a mistake to get involved with you. You have no idea how... how messed up I am."

"Oh, Shadow," Amy began gently as she sat down beside him, gathering his hands in her own. Shadow frowned and turned to look at her. "It's okay._ Really_. I know you've done things in the past you're not exactly proud of, but we can move past that. It's a good thing that you feel remorse."

"I've done such terrible things..." he muttered. "...And I will continue to do so much more. How can I not? It is my sole purpose of construction. It is apart of me; coded into my DNA. What were they thinking when they created me?" He gently pulled his hands free from her, instead lifting them up for both to see. "Look at these hands. I've hurt so many people with these hands." His eyebrows furrowed. "I'm so capable of destruction. Every time I look in the mirror, all I see is a monster."

"That's not what I see," Amy said tenderly as Shadow dropped his hands back into his lap. "Do you know what I see?" He shook his head. "I see you."

"A murderer." He bowed his head.

"No," Amy said, more firmly this time. "A genuinely good person." She put one of her hands against his chest, atop of where his heart was. "A person who has made mistakes in the past, but 

he's trying to repent. Someone who is too hard on themselves sometimes. Someone who is so much more than his artificial destiny." Their gazes met and Shadow shook his head in apparent disbelief. "You _are_ capable, Shadow. But not just of destruction. You can aspire to do so much more than that - to do good things. I know you can. I've seen you do it - you saved millions of people's lives back when the Ark was going to crash into the Earth. You sacrificed yourself for scores of people you didn't even know."

But Shadow didn't seem to have heard her. "I should've died back there, the day that you rescued me. But I left myself an out. Sonic's right - I _am_ a coward."

"No, Sonic's an idiot," Amy said, and Shadow wore a slightly mistrustful look. "And he was speaking out of anger. If you had died, we wouldn't be here right now. Think of what we would have missed out on."

"But what is _this_ we have, anyway?" Shadow wondered aloud, although it was clear he was speaking mostly to himself. He issued a deep sigh. "I miss her, Amy. I cannot escape her memory. Even in my dreams she haunts me."

"Shadow, she's_ dead_." The other hedgehog snapped his head up. Amy pressed on, despite the furious look he was giving her. "I know it's awful to say, but it's true. It is time to move on with your life." His expression softened, just a little.

"But there are so many things I wanted to tell her... so many things I never got to say..."

"And I know that it hurts, Shadow, but at some point you're going to have to let it go. She's _never_ going to come back." The other hedgehog didn't say anything. "You're just going to have to accept that. I'm sure she would want you to be happy."

"You're right," Shadow murmured. "You are so much like her..." It was a line Amy had heard many times before, and she wasn't sure she liked the sound of it. Still, she knew she had to be patient; progress was a slow and steady journey in which they were embarking upon. It would take years of therapy to undo Shadow's psychosis, but it _could_ be done - she was sure of it. Regardless of the timetable, she was willing to help him push past the turmoil, because -

Because -

_I love him_, Amy thought, suddenly overcome with a wave of dizziness. _I love Shadow the Hedgehog._

All was not right in the world. But for now, this would be enough.


	12. baby knows, but baby don’t tease me

It was a cold, chilly morning, and they spent the duration of it in bed, arms and legs intertwined beneath the covers to help conserve body heat. Amy's head was nestled into the crook of Shadow's muscular arm as they mutually explored new, uncharted territory with one another. It was the first she had seen some honest and open, so receptive and - dare she think it? - _talkative_. It was almost like having a conversation with a completely different person.

Except it _was_ Shadow, and all he wanted to talk about was Maria.

"She loved classical music," Shadow told her as they lay listening to the sounds of singing birds outside. He found a little of Maria in everything he saw - from the pictures in Amy's room to the objects in her house, and now, he could even relate her to the robins outside. He talked about her with such unabashed reverence that it was touching and a little disturbing as well, and in all honesty Amy was quite sick of it. Still, she knew she was probably the first person he had ever felt comfortable confiding in, and the fact that he trusted her enough to share these things with was flattering. Because of it, she didn't mind playing psychiatrist all that much. "Sometimes, back on the Ark, she would play it over the speakers and ask me to dance. I was terrible at the Waltz." His brow furrowed at the memory.

"You remember the strangest things," Amy told him fondly, struggling to comb her hands through his rugged quills.

"The little details come back to me in the dark, when I'm alone and I cannot sleep," Shadow told her, still staring dreamily outside the window at the birds beyond. "Last night, for instance. A lot of things came tumbling back, little fragments of Maria that had eluded me before."

"But you weren't alone," Amy reminded him.

"Apparently you are the exception," Shadow said, wearing a slightly muddled expression. "You work as a catalyst, I think. You two are so much alike after all. Because of it, I think being with you helps refresh my memory." Amy looked stricken at his words, and as if sensing her distress, he tilted his head to the side so that they were facing each other, nose-to-nose now. "But that's not why I stay," he told her quietly.

Amy felt a mixture of relief and disbelief. "Then why _do_ you stay?" she murmured.

Shadow didn't have an immediate answer. "You do strange things to me, Amy Rose," he told her slowly. "Strange things I've never felt before. Right here." And he gathered her hand in his own, pressing it against his chest so that she could hear the soft beating of his heart. A surge of emotion suddenly grabbed Amy, and she felt very much like she was about to cry.

Shadow looked confused and a little disheartened by her sudden tears. "What's wrong?" he asked her softly, reaching up with his calloused hands to stroke the side of her cheek. Amy took a deep, shuddering breath of air.

"N-nothing," she choked, suddenly finding it very hard to speak. "I… you… what you've just said, Shadow. It just makes me very h-happy."

To her surprise, Shadow did not seem reassured; on the contrary, he seemed to become more withdrawn. "I don't want to hurt you, Amy." He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and resting his elbows on them. He stared off into the distance now, not watching the birds interestedly but observing the scenery moodily. "But I'm afraid if we continue to see one another, it will become inevitable."

"Shadow, all couples go through hard times," Amy said, sitting up also and scooting over to situate herself beside his hunched over form. She put her hand on his shoulder. "It helps strengthen their bonds."

"We aren't just any couple," Shadow reminded her darkly, shrugging her hand off of his shoulder. "Innocent girls are not usually paired up with scientific experiments gone horribly wrong. I have told you, Amy, many times - I am dangerous. I shouldn't even be around other people."

"And like I've told_ you_--"

"Amy, you don't understand," Shadow interrupted, halting the other hedgehog's tirade with a severe look. "I'm a monster_. I have no conscious_."

"Then let _me _be your conscious," Amy told him desperately, her eyes boring into his own. "Stop putting a barrier between us, Shadow. Let me in. I can help you!" For a long time she sat there, silently pleading, before Shadow finally narrowed his eyes.

"There are some elements of me not even _you_ could control."

"Doesn't mean I won't try," she told him stubbornly. Shadow shook his head.

"I don't understand you," he mumbled, bowing his head. "But if you are determined to be apart of me, I don't think I can stop you. Even now I am allowing you to infiltrate my defenses, despite my reluctance to do so. You are a clever child, disarming me like this."

"No matter what kind of person you are inside," she whispered, leaning against him. "You can't scare me away. Because whatever it is that you're hiding, it's not as bad as you think."

"No, you're right," he muttered. "It's far worse." Without warning, the pink hedgehog suddenly threw an arm around his neck, pulling him in sideways so that she could kiss the side of your face.

"What was that for?" he asked her, evidently surprised by the sudden display of affection. Their previous conversation was promptly abandoned.

"You're sad again," she told him simply. "And I want to kiss that sadness away." Then she leaned in again to do exactly that.


	13. a hurried high from pestilence pills

It wasn't until mid-afternoon when Sonic finally called her. Amy immediately made a dash for the ringing telephone, leaving Shadow standing alone out in the hall. The black-and-red hedgehog watched her in mild curiosity as she wrenched the handle from the receiver, jamming it against her ear.

"Hello?" she asked, perhaps a little too eagerly.

"Hey, Amy," came Sonic's voice. He sounded slightly anxious. "What're you doing?" In the background she could hear what sounded like two familiar voices belonging to a certain fox and echidna. "Are you busy?"

"Is that Tails and Knuckles?" Amy asked excitedly, ignoring his question. "Are they okay?"

"Uh... well, they came back in one piece, if that's what you mean. Actually, that's sort of what I'm calling about. We could use some of your help, if you don't mind."

That couldn't be good. "Sure, Sonic, what do you need?"

"We gotta get a hold of that last Emerald, and _fast_. Robotnik ambushed Knuckles and Tails on the way to Pumpkin Hill and beat them to the punch. But that's not the worst of it. Seems like he broke into Tails' workshop, too, and stole back the Emerald we had taken from him the day we rescued you." Amy gave a gasp of horror as Sonic continued, "so he's got four to our one, and that's no bueno. Time to even the score a little. You game?"

"Absolutely," Amy responded immediately. "You know where it's at?"

"Yeah, we've got it located on that radar thinga-ma-jig Tails whipped up."

"Where is it?"

"That's the best part - it's in the Sewer." Amy wrinkled her nose in disgust, and as if Sonic could somehow read her expression through the receiver he added, "Yeah, I bet you're sorry you agreed now. Although this might be a small consolation: Station Square has the cleanest underground sewage system in the entire world. I read it in _Fortune_ magazine once."

"How reassuring," Amy said dryly.

"I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference, right?" Sonic said with a snort. "Crap is still crap. Anyway, don't wear anything you don't mind getting ruined, I guess. We're gonna meet by the manhole across the street from that Burger Joint you dig so much. You still want to come along? It's basically gonna be another wild goose chase."

That particular comment seemed a little odd. "I thought you said you had it on radar?"

"Well, we've got the general whereabouts, but the sewer system is practically a labyrinth underground, so making our _way_ to it is the problem. We're gonna have to split up into parties and try to make our way down there. So you still wanna help or what?"

"Sure." Amy casted one quick look over her shoulder, to make sure that Shadow wasn't near. Fortunately the other hedgehog had wandered into the living room, sitting down on one of the recliners and staring despondently out the window. Amy dropped her voice a little. "Shadow's here right now, though. Should I tell him I've got to go, or...?"

"Actually, you can bring him with if you want."

"What? Really?" To say that Amy was surprised would be a gross understatement. "Why the sudden change in heart?"

"Well, considering it was _Robotnik_ who ambushed Knuckles and Tails yesterday and not Shadow himself, I think I can breathe a little easier. Also, all the signs of break-in point to mechanical-means." Amy figured this was pretty good deductive reasoning, and she was inwardly grateful that Sonic seemed at least partially convinced of Shadow's trustworthiness. "And, admittedly, I'm dealing with a time crunch here, and I don't really have the opportunity to sit down and weigh the actual pro's and con's for the given situation. Obviously, I _would_ want you to keep him under surveillance though, in case he tries anything. You know, keep an eye out. Just as a precaution." She was a little flattered that he entrusted her with such a responsibility. Then again, wasn't Shadow her boyfriend, in some manner of speaking? Regardless of the fact, she could tell by how quickly Sonic had said all these things that he was feeling antsy. He very obviously wanted to get a move on, and she was struck by the time-table they were forced to work with. The clock was ticking away with every passing moment, and suddenly she too was seized with a feeling of unease and anxiousness as well.

"Alright, we're on our way," she told him, snapping her fingers in Shadow's general direction to get his attention. The other hedgehog lifted his eyebrows at her questioningly as she waved him over. "Give us ten minutes."

"Make it five." And he hung up.

* * *

Knuckles was less than pleased to see Shadow.

"What is _he_ doing here?" he demanded immediately, whirling upon Sonic in a fury. The blue hedgehog held up his hand to cease the forthcoming onslaught of angry banter.

"Knux," he said simply. "The more the merrier."

"Excuse me?" The echidna said, looking highly insulted by the mere suggestion. "How about I just call up Eggman and have him join our little search party too? Might as well, considering his lackey is _right there_."

"You have no definite proof of that!" Amy shot at him immediately, feeling flush in the face with Knuckles' accusation. "And Sonic said that he believes him now!"

"Yeah well, Sonic is very clearly an idiot," Knuckles fumed.

"Jeez Knuckles, I'm right here," Sonic said irritably, smacking the echidna upside the head. "Besides, if Shadow was the culprit, then we wouldn't have any Emeralds right now, because the one I've got would be gone." His gaze shifted to Amy's, subtle in its movement. "But it's safe."

Although no one else knew it this, was actual a question not actually phrased a question. Sonic's eyes were searching her, and she knew she had to be careful when she answered this, because no one else knew that had entrusted the precious jewel to her. Amy swallowed, suddenly well-aware of the Emerald snuggled up against her chest, hidden within an interior compartment inside of her dress. She could feel its electric pulse through the fabric, and was amazed that the others couldn't feel its radiating power as well. "Yeah," she said slowly, and in saying this, she confirmed to Sonic that it had not been stolen or given away. He visibly relaxed.

Knuckles, however, was still not convinced. "Maybe he just hasn't been given the opportunity to take it yet."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Look, we don't have time to argue right now. Time and essence is at hand--"

"Time is of the essence," Tails corrected.

"--Yeah, whatever it is that they say," Sonic dismissed airily, twirling his hand about in the air like a conductor would. The ruby-furred Guardian continued to seethe. "Knuckles! We're going in twosies, don't throw a fit. Amy can babysit."

"There's five of us, Sonic," Knuckles pointed out. "One of us is flying solo."

"And it's gonna be me. Amy and Shadow can head North, you and Tails can go South. I'll take East and West, because I'm..." he stole a look at Shadow, who was simply regarding him with that same unusual stare, "...arguably the fastest and if I took anyone with me it'd just slow me down."

"You're pairing me up with Tails_ again_?" Knuckles demanded. "Since when has he become _my _side-kick?" Tails looked deeply offended, shooting him a disgusted look, but the scarlet animal was very pointedly ignoring him. Meanwhile, Sonic's fists were clenched at his sides; he looked like he was very much trying to mentally talk himself out of punching Knuckles right in the jaw.

"Are we seriously arguing about this?" He pointed his finger at the echidna accusingly. "You're just doing this to be difficult, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Knuckles, we don't have time, okay? Maybe if you hadn't let Robotnik trash you and Tails--"

"Oh, so now all of this is _my_ fault?" Knuckles said through gritted teeth, enormous fists at the ready. "Is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah, maybe I am." Sonic said, raising his own fists. "We're kind of dealing with a time crisis here, but maybe I can set aside a thirty seconds to put you in your place!"

"Thirty seconds?! Ha! Don't flatter yourself, hedgehog! When I'm done with you, the only thing that's going to remain is a bloody smear on the FLOOR."

"Quit it, both of you!" Amy said, yanking out pico-pico hammer from the front of her dress. Beckoned by its mistress call, it went from petite to grande sized, looking extremely lethal in her delicate but capable hands. She swung the hammer in between them, little hearts leaping out from beneath it as it made contact with the hard concrete with an audible 'whump!' The display seemed to break Sonic and Knuckles out of their respective murderous rampages, and they both stepped back in surprise. "I thought you said we were in a hurry, here."

"We are," Sonic said icily, still glaring at the other animal. Across from him, the echidna was cracking his knuckles in a display of ill-intent. Amy Rose was disgusted with both of them. "Anyway, Tails, you can come with me. We'll leave _echitard _to fend for himself."

"You need the radar anyway," Knuckles told him evenly. "I've got a built-in radar right here." He jerked a thumb at his chest. "Looks like Amy and Shadow are going in blind." He gave Shadow a rather nasty smile, displaying all of his teeth. Shadow gave a small smirk in response, and Knuckles' expression hardened.

"Alright, Amy filled you in on the situation, right, Shadow?" Sonic asked. The black hedgehog nodded. "Well, then you can see why we could use the extra help. Robotnik is more well-informed _and_ quicker on his feet than I had originally given him credit for. From here on out, it's a race to the finish." He turned to Knuckles. "Can you help me?" He gestured at the manhole in the center of the group and Knuckles gave a curt nod. The two of them stepped forward so they were nearly on top of it. Sonic started to reach for it but Knuckles suddenly pushed him aside.

"I can do it myself," he snapped irritably. Using one hand he dug his hand into the little grooves on the cover, wrenching it out of the cylindrical hole with a ridiculous amount of ease. He then pivoted and tossed the enormous lead plate aside without so much as a grunt for his effort. It clattered with a resounding 'clang!' behind them and Tails jumped. Sonic was clearly impressed beyond his will, as were the pink hedgehog and orange kitsune. Shadow simply blinked.

"Hmph." The echidna dusted off his hands. "Let's go." Without further ado, he leap down the hole and disappeared into the darkness within. Sonic gave the others an exasperated look.

"_Normal_ people use the stairs." Not ever one to be outdone, however, he leapt down into the darkness below as well, disappearing completely from view. Tails was quick to follow suit. 

Amy, however, wasn't so sure of her own acrobatic ability; she opted for the aforementioned ladder. Shadow pulled up the rear.

Sonic was right - the sewer was a gigantic maze of epic proportions. The pathway seemed to stretch on infinitely in both directions, occasionally meeting a four-way intersection where it would split up into every which direction, adding to the already growing confusion of the layout. Beside them, the channels were filled with muck and water and what Amy assumed was human waste, but thankfully, the smell was kept to a minimum. The whole system _did_ seem relatively clean, just like Sonic had said. Still, Amy couldn't help but wrinkle her nose in disgust at what she surveyed. After all, not two feet away was _poop_, or something a lot like it. The other four, however, seemed a lot less concerned with this fact than she was.

"Alright, team, before we split up, let me pass out these." Sonic produced three walkie-talkies and passed one to Knuckles, Shadow, and kept one for himself. "If you run into any trouble or if you find the Emerald, let everyone else know." He pressed the button on his own, allowing the other two devices to cackle with static. He released the button. "Right. There might be a little interference with the radio, but for the most part, I think we're okay. Any questions?" Everybody shook their head. "Okay, well... you know what to do. The Emerald is supposed to be located in the North-East quadrant." Sonic pointed over the top of Amy and Shadow's head, to a direction directly behind them and to the right. "Which is harder to reach than it sounds. Keep in mind, a lot of these little forks in the road lead to dead ends. Also, this sewer has several stories, and I'm not sure where exactly the Emerald is in terms of height or depth. You might even get to go swimming." The group was not thrilled with the prospect. "... Just kidding, the object is stationary. So I think we can rule out it floating along the current.

"Alright, that's enough for debriefing. We'll catch up with you guys later." Sonic nodded at Amy and Shadow, and then at Knuckles. The trio nodded back. Sonic turned to face his orange-furred companion. "C'mon Tails, let's juice." The little fox took to the air, his namesake whirling above his head like helicopter blades. "Later, kids." And each group branched off in their own respective direction.


	14. we began weeping and wailing

Perhaps they were just clever, or she had a good sense of direction; maybe it was the Emerald she had hidden within the confines of her clothes, acting as a guiding star, leading them intuitively toward its sibling gem - regardless of the reason, they were the first to come within spell's reach of the Chaos Emerald. They could feel the electricity in the air, the hum of raw, cackling energy belonging to an unbridled source of power. Both hedgehogs' ears pricked forward as they came closer, their fur standing on edge; Amy was half-expecting her own Emerald to come flying out of the front of her dress, intent to stand alongside its other half. It was pulsing rapidly against her chest, hot to the touch, thrumming like a second, alien heartbeat. She wondered if Shadow could sense its intent, the undeniable attraction between the two gems on the brink of linking up, leading them further into the bowels of the sewers. But then again, she remembered, he had his own Emerald to be distracted with, stringing him further along just beside her.

Finally, they rounded the final bend, finding themselves face-to-face with the last remaining Emerald. It hovered in mid-air, as though suspended by a puppeteer's fine wires against a brick backdrop. Its brilliant red hue casted a glow upon Amy and Shadow's face as they drew nearer, sparkling and star-bright, encompassing them in its mysterious red glow. Amy felt a flutter against her chest, and she wasn't sure if it was the Emerald's counterpart or her own tingling anticipation, the murmur of her heart-beat. Both she and Shadow reached for it at the same time, and seeing each other make a grab for it, they both halted, giving each other room to proceed. Amy giggled.

"May I?" Shadow asked her finally, when it became clear neither was going to take hold of the gem without approval from the other.

"You may," Amy told him, and he plucked it easily out of the air before them. The stone grew white-hot in his hand as it linked up with its sibling gem Shadow had stored on his person. Shadow released the Emerald and its sister rose to meet it; the two swept around him in a lazy circle, looping slowly in mid-air. Their eyes flickered back and forth as the Emeralds continued to orbit around the darker hedgehog, momentarily entranced.

"We should probably call the others," Amy said after a moment.

"Let me see the radio," Shadow said, and the small device exchanged hands. The black hedgehog seemed to study it for a moment, as if trying to pluck the words out of the atmosphere before him as easily as he did with the Emerald. Then he held down the 'talk' button and lifted it to his mouth. "We've located the final Emerald."

Sonic was the first to respond. "Good job, guys! Can you find your way back from here?"

"Quite easily," Shadow informed him.

"Alright, make your way back towards the manhole and we'll meet up there."

Amy was already walking away, but Shadow didn't immediately follow. When she turned back to wave him over, however, the black hedgehog held up one hand to halt her. He seemed to 

ponder something for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was calm and clear and not entirely directed at her: "Aha. You see, therein lies the paradox."

There was a pregnant pause. Then, at last, it was Knuckles who spoke, his voice full of apprehension: "And what do you mean by that, Shadow?"

"What I mean is, echidna," Shadow said coolly, slowly pivoting on his feet so that he and Amy were now standing face-to-face. She immediately began to back away, feeling suddenly weary, "that that is most certainly _not_ what I'm about to do." And he smiled. Amy stared at him, vaguely aware that this was the first time she had ever seen anything even remotely resembling joy etched across his dark features. And it scared her.

* * *

"Let go of me!" she screamed at him again. The past five minutes had been a whirlwind of activity - Sonic had reached them in a blast of supersonic speed, Tails and Knuckles in hot pursuit. Although they were cornered in the bowels deep beneath the surface of Station Square, Shadow seemed completely unruffled by his lack of a proper exit. He simply secured his hand around Amy's wrist and thrust her behind him, forcing her back against the wall.

"Shadow," Sonic was snarling. "After all this time, Knuckles was right! You _have_ been working alongside Robotnik. You were a bad guy all along!"

The comment seemed to roll off of Shadow like water off of a duck's back. "I don't have time for this, Sonic," he told him airily, securing his grip on Amy Rose's arm. "I have things to do. And if you want to see Amy again, you'd better go fetch your Emerald for me."

"But before I do," Sonic growled, clenching his fists at his side. "I want you to tell me something. _Why_?"

"Why?" Shadow unconsciously held onto Amy's wrist tighter.

"You're hurting me!" Amy protested, her forearm throbbing painfully from the sudden abuse. Shadow's gaze flickered back at her and his grip relented just slightly. She thought it was a trick of the light but she thought she saw an apologetic look. She was so confused.

How could this have gone so terribly wrong? She thought she knew him - she was so completely convinced of his honesty, his integrity, his dedication to the path of what was right and true. She knew he was capable of heroic things, capable of being right and just - if not for himself, at least for _her._ Was his infatuation just for show? Had it all been a ruse, to lead her into a trap?

Right now she wanted to say yes, that she had been foolish, blinded by adoration - but she wasn't sure - something was very wrong about the entire situation. It just didn't fit. Shadow was not really the sneaky and manipulative type - he was brutally honest, opting for the more obvious route than a path of deception. Playing her a fool just didn't seem like his style.

Was she stupid to think that he had loved her? Was it even stupider than she had loved him back?

"Yes. _Why_," Sonic continued, oblivious to the silent exchange between them, done with simple glances. Amy had lapsed into silence, bewildered. "What has Eggman offered you, Shadow? What was something that you just couldn't refuse, to take on your friends and sell _us_ out? I thought Rouge was your _friend_, Shadow - and you beat her up. All for some stinkin' Emerald you could give up to 'Buttnik! How could you! Don't you care about her?"

"I _told_ her," Shadow said, looking suddenly pained. "I told her she shouldn't have - that she would get hurt. I did it with the utmost regret."

"See! You do feel remorse!" Sonic shouted, pointing at him. "Then _why_, Shadow? What made you betray your friends? To betray _Amy_?"

Amy was staring at him. She saw the undeniable look of shame cross Shadow's face this time, and he turned away.

"Look at her, man! Look at how you're hurting her!"

But Shadow wouldn't. He fixed Sonic with a steely gaze now, his resolve suddenly strengthened. "Don't talk to me about _hurt_, faker. You know nothing of regret and despair. You're always been quick enough. But sometimes - sometimes speed isn't enough. I couldn't break through the glass," he muttered as he bowed his head. "I couldn't save her. And then I was jettisoned into space, removed from her forever, separated by death--"

"She's dead, Shadow." Sonic said, and his voice was not entirely unkind. "There's nothing you can do about it."

The words worked as a catalyst; Shadow's head snapped up suddenly as though coming out from a trance. "Not for long, hedgehog!" he cried. "Robotnik is going to give me the one thing no one else can. He found a DNA sample of her back on the Ark, you see," he told the trio excitedly, and Amy felt sick to her stomach. She had never seen him so gleeful. "He has devised a method of cloning her, a way to bring her back to me! The man is a genius. And the price was small to pay. Trade in some measly Emeralds to be reunited with Maria? I would do anything to see her again."

Amy felt something inside of her plummet. It was Maria. Maria had come between them - again.

"You're out of your mind," she whispered, feeling hot, wet tears sting her eyes. She looked to Sonic hopelessly, who was wearing a strangely sympathetic, almost pitying expression which he had leveled at Shadow. She wondered briefly what he was thinking. Knuckles had grown increasingly more hostile as they had discussed Rouge, and was now being physically restrained by Tails.

Shadow's quills bristled at the comment, but he said nothing.

"So that's why you've teamed up, then?"

"What would _you_ do, Sonic?"

"I would let her rest in peace!" Sonic said loudly, his voice ringing hollowly off of the stone walls. He stepped forward, about to spring into action, but he seemed to be trying to restrain himself from doing something too rash.

"You're lying!" Shadow spat in disgust, and he dragged Amy forward. "Time's up! No more negotiation. Fetch me your Emerald and hand it over. You'll know where to find me. Just turn your eyes toward the sky." The two Emeralds he had began to whip past him, faster and faster like helicopter blades. Amy knew what was coming next, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"Chaos Control!"


	15. steady boys, i'm thinking she needs me

Now it was just a matter of playing the waiting game.

Amy found herself in a cell beneath the high rising platform in the war room of the newly rebuilt Egg Battleship. The word "cell" was a stretch - it was more or less a crudely built cage in the center of the floor. Still, even the barbaric means of imprisoning her were effective enough - she didn't have Sonic's skill, or Tails' technology, or Knuckles' strength to break through the bars. Besides, over-the-top high-tech gadgetry to ensure her lack of escape was not the point in this operation: _the point_ was for her to be as visible as possible when Sonic arrived, to give him a little extra motivation when it came to handing over the last Emerald.

The Emerald he didn't have.

Amy wondered just what Sonic was planning to weasel his way out of this one; how he was going to ensure Amy's release without conveying the Emerald's true hiding place. Would he want her to turn it over? Or would he simply attempt a rescue mission? She assumed the latter - although with six of the seven rings at Shadow and Robotnik's disposal, she wasn't sure how well he would fare against a supercharged technological tyrant and his suped-up mutant lackey.

"Was it really necessary to bring the girl?" Amy heard Shadow ask, trying to sound nonchalant. She saw his gaze flicker over in her direction briefly, as though trying to make eye-contact, but she turned away. She didn't want anything to do with him now.

He was just a few feet off to her right, looking up at the high-rise platform which harbored a control panel in which Robotnik was observing. There was also an enormous capsule with seven pedestals, one for each Emerald. Shadow had already given the doctor the ones he had retrieved - six of the seven emeralds were situated in their individual niches behind thick, three-inch thick glass.

"Yes, Shadow!" she heard Robotnik snap in reply. "As I've told you countless times before, taking her hostage is the only way Sonic will hand over the Emerald. He can't stand to see his precious little girlfriend hurt..." her insides twisted into knots as he continued cruelly, "Remember our deal, Shadow! Once I get all the Emeralds and you'd eradicated that nuisance, you'll have your Maria!" Amy glared hatefully up at the psychotic doctor, and saw that there was another capsule to the left of the Emeralds. This one seemed misty and cold, containing a package that was emblazoned with hazard symbols. Inside of it was a barely visible Petri dish. Could this be the remains of Maria? It was hard to believe that his betrayal had stemmed from a tiny, microscopic bit of someone long since past. It was remarkable what death and love did to tortured souls.

Tortured souls like Shadow.

But there was no pity here anymore; no sense of romantic tragedy. She hated him - hated his traitorous face, his deceiving lies, his unyielding love for Maria. For years her faint memory had taunted him, tortured him; and now it had brought him to madness. Because she refused to believe a normal person would just set everyone else aside for some dead broad. At least, that's what she wanted to think. Right?

She was jealous too, and perhaps that was worst of all. What hurt the most is that he seemed to willing to simply trade her in as well. It just made her feel like another face, another bland, nameless identity - just a pawn in an elaborate plan. She wondered if he had just strung her along too, or if his feelings had been genuine. Regardless of whether they were or not, she supposed she would never knew; all she knew was that she would never be good enough. He had shown her that she was disposable for a greater cause. At best, she was his safety net- something he could string along until someone better came along.

* * *

She didn't know how long she waited there for Sonic's arrival. It could not have been more than a couple of hours, but the minutes seemed to drag on infinitely. Suddenly, however, the screens on Robotnik's control panel grew red and sirens alerted the trio of intruders. There were sounds of a struggle in the distance.

"Well, well, well," Robotnik said, pulling at his toothbrush mustache gleefully and giggling. "Time for some fun!" Shadow held up a hand to halt further banter and the chubby scientist fell quiet. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as they listened to the metallic clangs and shouts pushing further into the bowels of the battleship.

"Seems the cavalry has arrived," Shadow said dryly, as the sounds of battle grew rapidly closer. "May I borrow the Emeralds, Doctor, to do away with the pests?"

"Certainly, Shadow," Robotnik said deviously, pushing a button before him. The capsule opened with a sound of hissing gas, and as if on cue, the Emeralds suddenly came spinning into view, having been given permission by their new master. They swept down rapidly upon Shadow like a form of swarming bees, settling around his torso before their arc became lazy and more relaxed. Smirking slightly, Shadow pivoted on the spot toward the source of the oncoming noise. The battle was nearly upon them now; just beyond the confines of the enormous steel door Amy could hear the sounds of lasers being fired and her friends ricocheting off of the walls.

"Perhaps we should invite them inside and give them a proper welcome?" Shadow mused aloud. "Open the door, Doctor."

"With pleasure," said the tyrant from above, cackling as he activated the control panel. There was a groaning sound as the door began to slowly retract up into the rafters. Sonic and the others rushed in, and at the sight of him, Amy found that she could keep her silence no longer:

"Sonic, watch out!" she screamed.

"_Chaos Spear_!" Shadow said, and before Sonic and the others had any time to heed her warning they were blasted off of their feet. Knuckles and Sonic were caught in mid-jump, the shock-wave flipping them over backwards in a bizarre acrobatic display before they landed on their backs, _hard_. Tails was much more unfortunate - the force of the blast sent him hurtling straight into a wall, his head smacking roughly against steel before he slid limply to the ground. He lay there holding his head in his hands, and Amy wasn't sure if he had a concussion or not. He got onto his 

hands and his knees, trembling, but abruptly his weight gave out beneath him and he slumped against the floor again and reached for his temples again.

Sonic was already on his feet again. "Shadow, you double-crosser!" he roared, pointing his finger accusingly at the other hedgehog as he and Knuckles struck appropriate battle poses. "And to think, after everything, I thought I could trust you!"

"Well you thought wrong, _faker_," Shadow sneered, and Amy felt a chill arch up her spine: this was no longer the Shadow she had loved less than twenty-four hours prior. This was the Shadow they had _first_ met, the ruthless black doppelganger back on the Ark. "You fell right into my trap. Give me your Emerald!"

"Shadow, for once, be reasonable! Think about what you're doing here!"

"You've better listen to him, Sonic!" Robotnik interjected. "Don't forget that we have your little girlfriend here!" He cackled from overhead, and a spotlight immediately fell upon Amy Rose's holding cell. She suddenly felt ashamed for being here, as if she could have somehow prevented being taken hostage. "We'll kill her if you insist on being a nuisance!"

"Don't listen to him, Sonic!" Amy said, even though it didn't really matter; Sonic couldn't give up the Emerald if he wanted to, because he didn't have it - _she_ did. Still, she didn't want him to give up the true location of the highly sought-out gem. "Don't give it to him!" Their eyes met and Sonic looked anguished.

"Don't be stupid now, my wretched rival!" Robotnik boomed, and Sonic looked up hatefully at him. "We _will_ kill her if you don't comply with our demands!"

"No, we _won't_," Shadow growled suddenly. "That won't be necessary." He looked like a twisted rendition of a religious figure, emeralds sweeping about him like a florescent halo. "Hand it over, now!"

"This is the last time I'm going to say this," Sonic said, clenching his fists at his side as he re-assumed his battle stance. "Come over to the right side, Shadow. It doesn't have to be this way. You can learn to live your life, instead of dwelling in the past! She's _dead_, Shadow."

"She won't be for long!" Shadow told him, maniac grin falling into place. "After I give Robotnik the last of the Emeralds, he will use her DNA and create a new Maria! And then we shall be reunited!" Amy stared at him, and saw Shadow's look of twisted determination. It was in this moment that she realized that any slight sliver of hope she had held onto had left her completely, forever eradicated. Shadow seemed beyond reason.

"Do away with him, Shadow!" Robotnik encouraged, and the two hedgehogs sprinted forward.

Sonic charged, already half-way curled into a spin-dash when suddenly Shadow struck first. His immediate target was not the blue hedgehog, however, but the ruby echidna who was behind him. His fist caught the echidna in the jaw, lightning-quick, knocking him backwards. As the Guardian soared through the air Shadow dashed forward to meet him before he could land, catching him again in the stomach and knocking the air out of him. Knuckles fell to his knees, gasping for breath and Shadow brought his knee up one last time, making contact directly under the chin. His opponent's head snapped up and he was flipped over onto his back. Shadow loomed over the other creature, surveying the damage he had done. Knuckles lay there, breathless and in apparent agony. Just like that, he had been removed from the fight.

"Knuckles?!" For once, Sonic had been too slow to prevent a catastrophe. The hedgehog whipped around just in time to see Shadow streak past, quicker than usual due to the extra boost from the Emeralds. The split second of confusion was enough for Shadow to seize another opportunity - his elbow snapped out and struck his cobalt opponent directly in the nose, knocking his head back with the sheer force of the blow. There was a sickening 'crack' and Sonic reached up to restrain the blood that was now coming town in rivers from a nose.

"SONIC!" Amy screamed, reaching through the bars of her cage as if to somehow aid him. Her efforts were useless, however, and the battle raged on.

"Seems I drew first blood," Shadow mused wryly from a couple of paces away, arms folded across his white-furred chest. The glow of the emeralds grew oddly sinister as they began to spin faster and faster about him, like some twisted rendition of an enchanted carousel. His smile was mocking. Sonic glared at him between stretched, bloodied fingertips and suddenly lunged forward, twisting in mid-air so that he was streaking toward Shadow, feet-first.

But the other hedgehog was too fast for him. He jumped straight up as Sonic came rocketing forward, landing directly on the blue hero's chest and forcing him down into the hard concrete floor. The cobalt hedgehog gasped as his back made contact painfully with the ground.

"Face it, Sonic," Shadow said coolly, jumping off of him easily. "With six emeralds at my disposal, you're no match for me. Ready to give up?"

"No!" Sonic said, and he swung himself up to fight again -

- But not before a well-aimed kick caught him directly in the throat, causing him to gurgle and sputter as he was sent crashing back into the floor. "Tell you what, faker," the blue hedgehog told him, appearing thoughtful. His voice was casual. "I'll strike a deal with you. Cooperate and hand over the Emerald willingly, and I'll make sure that I'm quick." He flashed him a wicked grin.

"Never!" Sonic shouted.

"Well, your persistence is admirable, at least," Shadow noted dryly, inwardly impressed. "Well, you've made your choice. Time to end this."

"NO!" Amy, Knuckles, and Tails shouted in unison; instead of dealing the fatal blow as promised, however, Shadow merely brought his foot down into the soft tissue of Sonic's stomach one last time. The blue hedgehog gave an odd, strangled yelping sound as the last of his breath was knocked completely out of him. He clutched his gut and rolled onto his side, moaning softly to himself as the others gazed on in complete horror. For a moment, no one moved, and the room fell oddly silent. Everyone appeared to be shocked. Then Robotnik began to laugh.

"Good work, Shadow!" the doctor congratulated jovially. "Now, retrieve the final Emerald!"

But Sonic wasn't finished yet.

Shadow watched dispassionately as the cobalt hedgehog rolled onto his front for a final time, trying in vain to pull himself to his feet. His arms shook with the effort as he managed to get onto his hands and knees before Shadow delivered another kick for good measure, catching him right in-between the ribs. Sonic choked and then spat blood, crumbling beneath Shadow's might for a final time. He landed on his stomach again and laid completely still, eyes closed.

"SONIC!" Amy screamed, rattling the bars of her cage futilely. Shadow knelt beside the blue hedgehog's lifeless body and checked him thoroughly.

"He doesn't have the Emerald on him," Shadow said, looking up at the technological tyrant. Robotnik was still standing on the elevated platform high above them, looking down upon the battlefield below like a wrathful God.

"He has to," Robotnik responded immediately. "He knew we were holding his girlfriend hostage, and he's not stupid enough to try and trick us. Check him again."

"I'm telling you," Shadow said, annoyed. "He doesn't have it!" Suddenly an idea appeared to have struck him, and he abruptly rounded on Tails. Knuckles staggered to his feet as Shadow surged forward, using his own body to create a barrier between the onyx hedgehog and the cowering fox's form.

"Keep your... dirty mitts... off of him!" Knuckles gasped.

"Step aside, echidna." Shadow said lazily, waving his hand. When Knuckles did not immediately obey he said again, more impatiently: "I said, step aside!" Still Knuckles refused to heed Shadow's command, and the black hedgehog suddenly seized Knuckles around the throat, effortlessly lifting him into the air.

"Shadow, stop!" Amy screamed, watching helplessly as Knuckles' eyes bulged out of their sockets, flailing his arms as his face slowly began to turn purple. "You're killing him!"

Shadow flicked his gaze briefly in her direction and then he returned his attention to Knuckles. "Hmph. Pathetic." He pitched the struggling Guardian aside with shocking ease. Knuckles crashed into a collection of oil drums some several feet away, knocking them over as he disappeared between them. The echidna did not rise again, and, apparently satisfied, Shadow drew nearer to Tails.

"I - I don't h-have it!" the little fox stuttered, trying to make him as small and as compact as possible beneath the other hedgehog's malevolent shadow.

"I know you don't," the other animal said coldly. "Your radar," he said suddenly. "I know you brought it with you. Give it to me!"

The fox looked around for assistance, but everyone was unconscious except Amy. She nodded numbly, not wanting to see anyone else get hurt. Her face was streaked with tears as Tails held out the little computer and Shadow immediately snatched it away.

He stared at it for a long time, the green light of it casting an eerie glow across his face. The emeralds continued to sweep lazily around in him in a wide arc as he slowly turned around, realization dawning upon him. "You," he said, staring at Amy directly across from him. "You have it. And you didn't tell me."

"And it's a good thing I didn't!" Amy told him shrilly, glaring at him hatefully. "You're a monster!" The other hedgehog recoiled a little, apparently stung by her words.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Robotnik cackled overhead, his face contorted in an ugly display of glee. "So the girl had it the entire time?! This will be a piece of cake!"

"You've had it this whole time?" Shadow wondered aloud, stepping over the prone form of Sonic to make his way toward her. "Sonic entrusted it to you, did he? How..._considerate_ of him, to put you deliberately in harm's way..."

"He wasn't doing it so that I'd get hurt!" Amy screeched, retreating fearfully into the corner as he slowly approached her. She backed into the wall as Shadow reached her, head cocked to one side as he regarded her curiously through the lead pipes. "He was doing it to protect it!"

"And how did he figure that? Did he really think that you'd stand a chance against me?" Shadow's voice was rueful as he shook his head. Amy didn't have an answer for that one, and he continued, more softly, "Maybe he didn't think that I would hurt you..." He suddenly seemed a million miles away.

"Shadow, stop stalling!" came Robotnik's booming voice overhead. "Hurry up and take the damn thing!"

Shadow blinked, snapping out of his reverie. "Amy," he said, although his voice was no longer full of malice or ridicule. "Give me the Emerald."

"No!" she shouted, her voice echoing throughout the ship.

"Amy, please," Shadow said, a little more desperately. "Give me the Emerald."

"If she won't give you the Emerald, take it from her!" Robotnik yelled, slamming his fist against the railing he was holding onto. "Kill her if you must! Let's hurry up and finish this, and then I shall fulfill my end of the deal!"

"_Chaos Control_," Shadow muttered, and suddenly he was transported inside of the cage in a blazing flash of light. Amy pressed herself further up against the wall, gripping the sides of her prison in anguish.

"...Amy..." came Sonic's voice from beyond them.

"SONIC!" Amy said, pushing past the black hedgehog so that she could get a better look at him. The blue hedgehog was on his hands and knees, his entire body trembling. It was clear he was on the verge of collapse again.

"Amy!" Shadow said also, seizing her by the arm and whipping her around so that she was forced to face him. Amy put both hands against his chest and pushed, shoving both of them backwards into an opposite wall. The force of her self-inflicted impact left her breathless; it merely left Shadow annoyed.

"She is a nuisance! Kill the girl! Kill her now, before it's too late!" Robotnik roared.

"For the last time, I'm _not_ going to kill her," Shadow said through gritted teeth. He drew near again. "But I will hurt you, if I have to," he warned. "Please don't make me. I don't want to. Amy, _please_." His voice was pleading as he caught her by the shoulder again. Suddenly she felt the Emerald rising out of the interior pocket of her dress, slipping out through her collar and outstretched hands.

"Amy, no!" Sonic reached out uselessly before falling forward.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Amy cried, waving her arms about in a panic. "I didn't mean to!" It was no use; one Emerald against his six were no match. The electric force of their attraction had been too strong for her to prevent what was happening. The little Emerald rose up, beckoned by Shadow, and joined its siblings in a lazy sweep around them.

Now all seven Emeralds had been successfully collected; they rotated around the two of them in a wide arc as she watched helplessly. Amy saw them circle past before returning her gaze to Shadow, who was still holding her. He suddenly pulled the little hedgehog against his chest forcefully.

"I hope it was worth it," she choked. "To screw me over."

"Don't say that," he murmured, his voice buried against the pink fur of her quills. "I never want to hurt you."

"You already did!" Amy sobbed, but there was no point; he had already won. "Why, Shadow, _why_? I've done so much for you! And this is how you repay me?"

"I'm sorry, Amy," he said, and he bowed his head so that it was resting on top of her own. "I just want to be with her..."

"At the expense of my friends? _Your _friends?" she cried, pulling away from him. "What about me? I thought you cared about me! Don't you love me?"

"I do," Shadow told her earnestly, and his eyes held all the sincerity in the world. For a moment the two of them were suspended there, captivated in the moment where he revealed the purity of his emotions. "I _do_," he said again, a little more desperately this time, when she looked completely unconvinced. "More than you'll ever know." Amy shook her head feebly, dragging the back of her hand across her face to wipe away the tears. Shadow's voice cracked as he suddenly wailed, "But I love her too! Why can't you understand this?! I just want to hear her voice, to feel the touch of her skin! I just want to see her again! Is that really so terrible?!"

He seized her suddenly by the shoulders, shaking her violently. The smaller hedgehog flopped bonelessly beneath his rigid grasp, staring blankly ahead. Shadow released her after a moment, apparently overcome with emotion as she lifted her head slowly to meet his gaze. Dreary scarlet orbs met despondent emerald green ones, and she had to turn away. "You're insane," she told him.

"I will take us away from here," he told her earnestly. "Now that that you've given me the last Emerald, I can finish off the hedgehog and we can get the DNA sample and _go_. We can leave this place forever... we can spend out the rest of our days together..."

"Who?" Amy snarled. "You, me, and Maria? You're not _touching_ Sonic. You are absolutely out of your mind!"

"How can I make you understand?!" he howled, and when Amy tried to back away he strengthened his hold on her, reeling her in. He suddenly smashed his lips brutally against her's in a last ditch effort to convey his meaning to her. When they broke apart there was something a lot like tears in his eyes. "It's the only way, Amy. I _have_ to do this. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," she whispered. "For this." And she whipped pico-pico hammer out, willing it to do her bidding; it went from toy-sized to gigantic, almost obscenely large. Shadow's eyes widened in surprise but for once, he was too slow on the uptake - she swung it and it hit him directly in the chest, hurtling him with a ridiculous amount of force into the side of the cage. He cried out in surprise as he connected, the emeralds dispersing from the sheer velocity of her blow. Having temporarily severed ties with their master, Amy saw her chance and seized it, calling upon them to aid her in Shadow's absence. Suddenly all four sides of the cage burst apart and she stepped outside, the brilliant, shining gems swirling about her in a chaotic fervor, crackling with raw energy. Overhead, Robotnik gave a scream of rage.

"Shadow, get her!"

But she was his one true weakness, and even if he did want to harm her, it would be no use with the seven emeralds now at her disposal. The black hedgehog merely watched her in silence as she strode calmly past to the place where Sonic was laying.

"Amy," the blue hedgehog said, weakly inclining his head so that their eyes could meet. "That was... way past cool."

"Sonic," Amy said, tears rolling freely down his face at the battered sight of him. "I'm sorry." And she extended both hands before her, willing the Emeralds forward. They heeded her call, shooting out to sweep around the cobalt hedgehog. Immediately they began to glow, turning white-hot as his wounds were healed.

"Thanks, Amy," Sonic said, looking far more cheerful now. He rolled onto his back and then jumped to his feet with ridiculous ease, clearly rejuvenated. "I appreciate it. You want 'em back, or...?"

"No," Amy shook her head quickly. "You have them. After all, we all know how you love to be a _hero_." She gave him a watery smile and Sonic flashed her a grin in return.

"You know me all too well," he said, throwing a wink at her. "Maybe you should take a step back. You don't want to be in the direct line of these things, trust me." She nodded numbly, taking a couple of steps back to where Tails was huddled. She took the little fox by the shoulders, hugging him close to her as they both watched interestedly.

"Here we go!" Sonic said, and he was suddenly engulfed in a column of light, so bright that Amy and the others had to shield their eyes from its brilliance. When it dimmed the emeralds were gone, leaving Sonic golden in their wake.

"I'm out of here!" Robotnik said, immediately clamoring for the exit. Sonic merely lifted his hand lazily and a bolt of raw energy shot out, overtaking Robotnik in its current and blasting him off of his feet. He tumbled to the ground below but Sonic was there in an instant, catching him before he could hit the floor and split open his skull. He set the unconscious doctor almost gently on the cement and glanced about the room, making eye-contact with both Tails and Amy before turning his focus on Shadow. The other hedgehog was watching him, looking dejected as Sonic levitated toward the place where he lay.

"Come to kill me, Sonic?" The black hedgehog laughed humorlessly as Sonic loomed closer. "You should. Once again you have proven to me that good triumphs over evil. You have also seen to it that I shall surely never see Maria again in this lifetime. I have nothing left to live for." He sighed as the other hedgehog continued to regard him stoically.

"You were right, of course, after all this time - I _am_ a coward. But now, I will overcome my fear with your help. As it should be - I don't deserve to live, after all the pain I have caused you and your loved ones. I welcome death at your hands."

"I'm not going to kill you, Shadow," Sonic said after Shadow had finally finished, shaking his magnificent golden head. "But I _am_ going to hurt you." And suddenly a blazing light engulfed Shadow too. The black hedgehog looked confused at first, but as the glow intensified he threw back his head and screamed as he was lifted off of his feet. Then, as quickly as it had come, the 

blaze was gone and Shadow flopped forward limply like a rag-doll. He fell to the ground, completely still.

"Knuckles," Sonic said, turning toward the capsized oil drums. The echidna groaned softly at the sound of his name. Sonic lifted one arm, and another streak of raw energy struck out, enveloping the scarlet Guardian in its glow. This glow was different from the one that struck Shadow and Robotnik, however - it was warmer, nicer - and when it faded away it left Knuckles standing, his wounds apparently healed. "I need a favor to ask of you and Tails. But first, do you think you could drag Robotnik off to his escape pod?"

"Ugh, we're really gonna save him?" Knuckles said in apparent disgust, but he dragged the unconscious overlord off without further complaint. The others waited for a few moments and the echidna suddenly reappeared again, wearing a slightly disgruntled expression. "Alright, I ejected the pod. Now what?"

"Thanks,. Knuckles. Now I want you to take Amy and get the heck outta here. Tails, the same goes for you and Shadow."

"Wait, _now_ I have to put my foot down!" Knuckles said angrily. "Why the hell would we rescue _him_?" His voice was dripping with venom as he pointed dramatically at the unconscious hedgehog. Sonic looked bored.

"The better question would be: why wouldn't we?"

"He beat up Rouge! Not to mention he kidnapped _your_ girlfriend, nearly killed you, thrashed me and Tails--"

"If we leave him here to die, we are no better than he is," Sonic said simply. "And besides, it would be what he wanted. And I don't feel like awarding favors to crazy, overly-emotional jerks." When Knuckles continued to look unconvinced, he said, "Knuckles, cut me some slack. I have my reasons, okay? But we'll save them for later. Let's _go_."

The Guardian shot him one last look of disgust before turning his attention to Amy. "You ready?" he asked her, offering her one of his gigantic hands. Meanwhile, Tails slapped an enormous red button along the wall, activating the pulley system within the bowels of the ship. There was a groaning sound as the huge bay doors began to slowly open, revealing the dark world whipping past in the wind. The little fox went back and grabbed Shadow by the arms, dragging him limply over to where the newly revealed exit now was.

Amy clasped her hand within Knuckles own and he led her forward. They, too, began to slowly descend toward the enormous opening, trailing after Tails as he leapt into the beyond and disappeared, taking Shadow with him. As they reached the edge to follow suit Amy took one last look back at Sonic, who was watching them silently.

"Sonic?" she asked. "Are you coming?"

"Go on ahead," he said, waving her on. "I'll be with you in a second."

"What're you going to do?" she asked him apprehensively.

"I'm gonna set off a spectacular fireworks display, just for you." When she simply stared at him, he said, "What, you think I'm gonna leave this thing intact, after all the trouble we went through to get here?" ("I can attest to that," Knuckles muttered darkly in the background. "It was such a _pain_.") "I plan to blow it sky-high, baby."

Amy opened her mouth to protest, and Sonic simply laughed. _"_I'll be _fine_, Amy," he told her. "I promise. Don't wait up for me, okay?"

"What do you mean, don't wait up?" Amy asked, slightly alarmed now.

"You're reading too much into this, Amy," Sonic said, shaking his head. "Don't worry so much. I'm not gonna be too far behind. I have _you _to return to, after all." And he smiled.

* * *

Knuckles swept down toward the crest of a hill, Amy's arms tightly wound around his neck to keep from falling off as they approached ground. Tails was already there waiting for them, the unconscious form of Shadow propped up against a formidably-sized boulder just to the right of him. The echidna dropped down gracefully beside the two, setting Amy gently on her feet after he had both feet securely on the ground

"Well, glad _that's _over," the scarlet Guardian said darkly, folding his arms across his chest. "What a fiasco."

"Look!" Tails cried suddenly, pointing off into the distance. Knuckles and Amy looked up just in time to watch as Eggman's smoking airship caught fire entirely. The three watched in silence, captivated by the gruesome sight. There was a tense moment. "It's gonna blow!" the orange kit shouted.

And so it did, lighting up the sky so spectacularly that it could have been mistaken as day. Sonic was right - it _was_ just like a fireworks display. The burning wreckage left behind was virtually unrecognizable, appearing almost pretty as it fell back to Earth.

The carnage made Amy a little nervous, but apparently Tails and Knuckles were used to such theatrics. They clearly did not share her concern, instead watching the monstrosity crash into the hills behind with only vague interest. "That was fun," Knuckles said wryly, and he went over to Shadow and kicked the hedgehog onto his side with a little more force than what was strictly necessary." "There," he said dryly, "now I feel better. I've been waiting a long time to do that." He grabbed the unconscious animal and threw him over his shoulder. "Well, I hate to say it, but Sonic probably wants us to get him to a hospital or something," he said. "Let's go, Tails."

"Right!"

"Hey, wait!" Amy said, hurrying after them as they marched down the hillside. "Don't tell me you're leaving me here!"

"We're not!" Knuckles called after her, although neither of them stopped to wait for her to catch up. "Just stay there! I'm sure your boyfriend will be there to pick you up soon!" And they disappeared into the foliage beyond.

Knuckles was right. Not long after Eggman's ship crashed into the distance she watched as a flicker of golden light came soaring toward her. As it drew nearer she saw that it was Sonic, sparks bouncing off of him as he streaked effortlessly through the air. Moments later, he landed lightly down before her, his movements as graceful as a trapeze artist. He bent in half, dipping into funny little bow, and when he spoke it was as if he were addressing an entire audience instead of just one girl. "Thank you, thank you. Another engaging performance, I know."

"Your humility is your best quality," she said, and the two of them smiled - it was a shared joke between them. The yellow light around Sonic began to flicker and then fade, like the way a TV set does right as its shutting off.

"Looks like I'm powering down," Sonic said, sounding almost disappointed as gold gave way to blue underneath. "I'm always sad to see it go. Going super is such a _rush_."

Faced with the familiar face of her beloved blue hero, Amy could control her impulses no longer. She raced forward and threw her arms around his neck, their foreheads bumping into one another as they collided. The weight of her threw him off balance and he laughed, swinging one arm around her to steady them.

"Oh, Sonic!" she said, and she felt her voice wobble as more tears threatened to overcome her. "I'm so sorry!"

Sonic looked confused as she released him. "For what?"

"For being such an _idiot_," she spat vehemently, thinking of Shadow. Suddenly she caught sight of something Sonic was holding in his hand, an object that she hadn't noticed before. "What's that?"

"This?" Sonic said innocently, and he held it up. Amy saw that it appeared to be a Petri dish of some kind, enclosed within a sealed plastic bag emblazoned with hazard symbols. "It's the DNA sample of Maria Robotnik had."

"You saved it?" she asked him, a little bewildered. "But why?"

Sonic didn't immediately respond.

"I was thinking of giving it to Shadow," he said after a moment.

Amy staggered backwards in shock. "But why?" she gasped.

"Because now it'll be his'," Sonic explained easily. "That way he won't have to be at someone else's mercy if he really wants to bring her back to life. I'd offer to have Tails do it but I'm not sure if he'd really want to, or if it's entirely ethical. This way, if Shadow wants to, he can figure out how to do it on his own and it'll be on _his _conscious, and his alone."

Amy shook her head violently. "But_ why_? Why would you want to help him? He sold you out for that opportunity, Sonic! Why would you reward that kind of behavior?"

"Amy." Sonic hesitated, and then took in a deep breath, apparently steeling himself for what he was about to say next. "Now, I know you're going to think I'm crazy but... try to think of things from his perspective."

He was right. She _did_ think he was crazy. "WHAT?"

"Hold up and let me explain." He sighed, shaking his head. "Okay, okay. Picture this, though. Say it was you in his position. Would you have done it? To be reunited with your true love?"

"Yeah, right," Amy immediately scoffed, folding her arms across her chest. "You tell me, Sonic. Would _you_ give Robotnik all seven Emeralds and sell out your friends? Just for some girl?"

"For you?" Sonic asked her seriously, and Amy merely shrugged. "I would do that and more," he told her, and the sincerity of his voice surprised and impressed her so much that her arms immediately fell to her sides. The blue hedgehog stared fixedly over the top of her head at the distance, his gaze trained upon some object she could not see. He appeared to be internalizing something. Amy stared. "Of course, after I had_ gotten_ you, I would steal the Emeralds back and kick Eggman's butt, but that's probably beside the point..."

But that wasn't why Amy was staring. It was the earnestness of his words that suddenly left her heart pounding, her eyes unexpectedly clouding with tears. "Oh, Sonic," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him more tightly than before.

"Silly Amy," Sonic murmured tenderly into one vibrant bubble-gum colored ear. "For you, I'd do anything."

* * *

Amy was afflicted with a severe case of Deja Vu as she walked down the halls of the hospice, Sonic by her side. Here she was, visiting Shadow, after all had been said and done. She thought that their journey of the hearts would have taken them far, but in actuality, it had ended up making a full circle and dropping her off right where she had started: making hospital visits. Then again, there was no such thing as coincidence.

When they stepped out of the elevator and onto the third floor, Amy caught sight of Knuckles. She could not help her surprise. "Knuckles!" she cried, and the echidna turned to face the source 

of the voice. He nodded in her direction and she came trotting forward, Sonic walking at a leisurely pace behind her. "You're visiting Shadow too?"

"As if," the echidna scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest. "Unlike your boyfriend, I don't forgive people who beat the crap out of me and my friends too easily."

Sonic rolled his eyes. Not missing a beat, Amy asked, "So what're you doing here?"

"Rouge is getting out of the hospital today," Knuckles answered, and as if on cue, a familiar husky drawl drifted down to them.

"Knuckles, honey," the albino bat said, appearing at the end of the hallway. "Want to give me a hand?"

The echidna was there in an instant, swinging one enormous hand around her for support. The fact that such large, dangerous hands were capable of such gentleness was a little mind-boggling to Amy. Together, the two of them made their way slowly down the corridor to where the others were waiting.

"Hey there, sugar," Rouge said, winking coyly at Sonic as they approached. Even without her usual make-up and her head wrapped up in a bandage that greatly resembled a turban, she still looked unfairly beautiful. "How's life treating you?"

"Better than it's been treating you," Sonic mused, watching as she threw out one arm to lean herself against the wall for additional support. "Geez Rouge, you look _awful_."

Rouge gave him a warning look and Knuckles slapped himself in the forehead. "Careful, hedgehog," Rouge said, slightly aggravated. "If I wasn't in such a state, I'd knock your head clean off with one of my judo-kicks."

"And I'd let you," Sonic said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "That was tactless. I'm sorry."

"I'll let it slide, this time," Rouge said, considerably brighter now. She looked at the several dozen doors adorning the walls around them in interest. "So which one of these is Shadow's room? I want to visit him before we go."

Startled, Amy couldn't help but ask, "You want to _visit_ him? After what he did to you?"

Rouge's head swiveled so that she was facing the smaller animal. "And why is that so hard to believe?" She asked her, and Amy was struck by the sincerity of her look. Apparently Rouge saw that she still didn't understand and opted to continue. "Shadow and I have a long history. I'm certainly not going to throw it away over a cleverly executed head-butt between good friends."

"But... but... he beat you up!" Amy sputtered. She looked to Knuckles for support. He was watching Rouge darkly.

"I don't agree with her," he admitted gruffly. "But it's not my place to decide for her how she should or shouldn't feel." Rouge smiled at him and leaned further into his powerful torso.

"He's sweet," Rouge said admiringly, nodding in Knuckles' direction. "But anyway, as I was saying: It would be wrong of me to sore about it; after all, it isn't the first time I've clashed with a loved one." She batted her eyes lovingly in Knuckles' direction. "When Knuckles and I initially met we beat the living crap out of each other, do you remember that, Knuckles?" He nodded and Rouge dropped her voice down to a conspiratorial whisper: "Sometimes we still do, but only in role-play now." She snuggled closer and Knuckles went redder than usual, which was no small feat considering his fur was scarlet by default.

"I wouldn't exactly say that's the same," Amy said before she could help herself. Rouge smiled at her, almost piteously.

"We are _Team Dark_," she said impressively, suddenly drawing herself up to her full height. "We may all have our own individual agendas, but in the end we will always stand United." When Amy continued to appear bewildered, Rouge laughed. "It's useless to try and explain it to you, girl. You, being naturally good, would view Shadow's behavior as the utmost in betrayal. Me, being a little, well... shadier than most," she glanced over at Knuckles, apparently to chart his reaction. The echidna looked vaguely disgruntled as she continued, "See it as the norm. The problem with people is they focus too much on the bad things others do. They remember these things, putting them in the forefront of their mind, forgetting everything else. But how can I ignore the times Shadow has gotten me out of a jam? Shadow has helped me many times, and not just for the benefit of personal gain." She sighed, still regarding Amy with the same disdainful look. "Think outside the box, girl. _Really_ think about it, and maybe someday you will understand."

Amy stared. It was the most unusual reasoning she had ever heard, and weirder still, it made _sense_. "Thanks, Rouge," she said after a moment. "That really put a... unique spin on things."

"Glad I could be of help," the bat said airily. "Alright then, Knuckles, I'm _hungry_. Let's go down to the cafeteria and then we'll come back up and visit Shadow later." Knuckles gave the two hedgehogs an apologetic look and then nodded. The pair of them waved and abruptly walked off toward the elevator. Sonic and Amy watched them go, the former of who was laughing.

"What're you laughing about?" Amy asked.

"Boy, Knux sure is _whipped_," Sonic said, still chuckling to himself. After a moment he managed to get it all out of his system and turned to Amy. "Does that make you feel any better about seeing him now?"

"I'm not sure," Amy admitted honestly, as they continued to make their way down the hall. "But I guess if Rouge can forgive him, there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to, right?"

"Depends on your perspective," Sonic told her seriously, and they stopped in front of a closed door marked 16A. Amy started to reach for the handle but then she hesitated, hand suspended in mid-air. She turned to make a face at Sonic.

"You aren't really helping me out here, you know," she said, her tone slightly accusatory.

"I'm not supposed to," Sonic told her evenly. "This is about you, Amy, not me. But know that whatever you decide to do, I support you."

"How can you say that?" Amy asked him, genuinely perplexed. "Knowing that there's a chance he might just sweep me off my feet all over again? How can you be _okay_ with that?"

"It doesn't matter," Sonic said, waving her on with a smile. "Because I want you to be happy. I love you Amy, don't you get that? As long as you're okay, then I'll be okay. I'm serious. Don't sweat it..."

She nodded mutely. And, feeling a little more reassured, she stepped into the place where Shadow was waiting for her.


	16. but heaven knows everything

"If you think you're going to give me another sedative, nurse, you're in for a rude awakening," Shadow snarled as the door to his room swung open. Ever since his admittance to the hospital some thirty-six hours prior, he had been under ridiculously close watch by the hospice workers. Fortunately for them, their job had been made especially easy since he spent the majority of the time in their company unconscious. Whenever he awoke and became too coherent, however, he was immediately swarmed with dozens of orderlies trying every possible method to subdue him, perhaps fearing a repeat performance from his last stay. The constant struggle to stay awake had become very irksome and Shadow had been just mulling over a possible means of escape when someone rudely walked in unannounced. His head immediately snapped up to glare at the intruder, only to find that it was Amy Rose and not some meddlesome nurse.

To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. He was absolutely_ floored_. Still, he tried to re-arrange his face into what he hoped was a neutral expression, trying not to show any form of weakness in front of her. The truth of the matter was that a wave of sickness and guilt and something a lot like desire went washing over him like a tsunami, leaving him with a sensation that could best be described as drowning. "Amy," he said as a way of acknowledgment, inclining his head in her direction.

"Shadow." The pink hedgehog remained framed in the doorway, apparently reluctant to come any nearer to his proximity. He couldn't really blame her. Bile was rising in his throat, and he was disgusted with himself and what he had done to her.

The two of them regarded each other mutely for a long time, and it was hard to say who was more uncomfortable. For the first time ever, however, it was Shadow who broke the silence.

"Amy," he said, and his voice suddenly sounded scratchy and hoarse, as if he had not spoken in years. Why were finding the words suddenly so hard? He had never felt such a desperate need to explain himself before. "I.. I think I owe you an apology."

"You've given me a thousand apologies," Amy said, not entirely unkindly. She seemed tired more-so than anything else, shoulder leaning against the door frame for support. As Shadow continued to stare, he could see the deep lines of confusion written across her face. It was obvious she was internalizing things; she wasn't sure if he was making the right choice in being here. He wasn't sure either, but he was glad for the opportunity to make amends regardless. After all, Amy Rose had always been the forgiving type; maybe she was willing to give him a second chance... again. Why else would she be here? The more he considered it, the more he thought the idea did not seem entirely impossible. His heart gave a nervous flutter of hope.

"I think I owe you one more yet," he murmured. He tried to make eye contact with her, to somehow convey how sorry he was to her in a more physical sense, but she refused to meet his gaze. "Will you sit down and talk to me, please?" The plea was awkward on his tongue.

"I don't want to hear another one!" she exploded suddenly. "'Sorry' doesn't fix _anything_. You sold out my friends, Shadow! You sold out _me_. You toyed with my emotions and played me for a fool. _'Sorry' _doesn't cut it!" Her little chest heaved with the effort of her outburst, brilliant green 

eyes clouding over with tears. It tortured him to see her like this - to see her hurt, and know that he was the cause of her suffering.

"Amy," Shadow swallowed. "Please, listen to me. You have to believe me when I say… when I say that I had the best intentions in mind."

Amy gave a scream of mirthless laughter. "That's rich, Shadow. Using me to barter for the last Emerald, Shadow? Deliberately handing me over to Robotnik so that I could play hostage? Whose intentions _did_ you exactly have in mind, hm? You were going to let me die! Didn't you hear him, back on the airship? Robotnik said he was going to kill me!"  
"And didn't you hear _me_?" Shadow snapped suddenly. "I would never let him lay a hand on you, Amy. I would destroy him."

"But what if you still didn't have the sample? What if I was the last thing standing in your way? What if Robotnik had asked you to finish me off, too?"

Shadow looked uncomfortable. "It would have never come to that."

"But you can't say that for sure!" Amy said shrilly. "What if it had, Shadow? Would you cast my life aside, as easily and as willingly as you were with Sonic's? Would you trade me in… for… for _her_?" Her voice cracked with the effort, and she had to close her eyes for a moment, trying desperately to regain her composure before it gave way completely. When she opened them again Shadow was watching her with that strange, tender expression that she had grown so accustomed to over the past few days. For some reason, it angered her further. Maybe because he had probably given Maria that same look, countless times before, whether she had been aware of it or not. That look didn't belong to Amy, it belonged to _her_. It felt borrowed, stolen even.

"I – I tried to tell them," she said, shaking with rage and pain, an explosive combination. "I kept defending you – all along. I have given you everything, Shadow – my trust, my thoughts, my love. And this is how you've repaid me? Everything I have done these past weeks, I've done for you. And what have you given me? Nothing! Everything _you_ do, you do for _her_. You are the most selfish animal I have ever met. You – you used me."

"That isn't true," Shadow told her desperately. "I didn't just have an agenda, Amy. My feelings – they're… they're genuine. Maybe I'm not as good as expressing them as… as the _faker_," his face scrunched up as he said it, eyes slightly narrowed, and for the first time Amy wondered if he had been secretly jealous this entire time, as discreetly envious of Sonic as Sonic had been of him. "I'm not good with words… or-or… chivalry, or bravado. I can't swoon you with fancy words, or sweep you off with your feet with dramatic displays. I never had that kind of style or social grace, like _he _does." He swallowed. "I've been alone for so long… I don't know proper etiquette, and I've never been good with words… communication has never been a strong point with me, after having been isolated for so long. But I love you, Amy, even though I can't explain it. I don't know how or why, but it it's there; and you have to believe me when I tell you that it exists inside of me, because I could never properly convey it in words alone. It's so… so much more greater than that. So please, please believe me when I say that I love you, and that I wasn't using 

you, or creating falsities to lure you in… I never meant to deceive you, Amy; I didn't simply fabricate lies for my own ends, Amy. Everything I've tried to shown you… it's real."

"You kept things from me, Shadow," Amy told him, shaking her head ruefully. "You were working to get her back the entire time. And you kept that from me."

"I did," Shadow nodded, and bowed his head. "I can't deny that. But that was the plan before… before we got involved, don't you see? How could I explain it to you… how could I make you understand, after all that had transpired between us? Suddenly I was in so far, so deep… I was afraid if that I let you know what I was up to, you would leave me, and I would be alone again. And more than anything, I… I don't want to be alone anymore."

"I told you not to take the Emeralds," Amy said, glaring at him. "You gave me your word. And you broke it!"

"Amy, I'm not Sonic," Shadow told her evenly, and maybe it was the fact that he had used Sonic's name that had made her momentarily lose her anger. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard him call him that. "I don't have… conventional honor, or whatever you want to call it. I know that I lied to you. But wouldn't you have done it, if you were in my position? Maria… she was such an integral part of my life, both past and present... Someone so revered, so dearly missed and loved… wouldn't you have jumped at the opportunity to be re-united with a loved one of that stature?" His words immediately reminded her of Sonic, and what he had told her back on the hilltops, and her expression softened. Sonic, the one who was going to be killed in Maria's name, the one that posed the most immediate threat, the one who was to be eradicated; Shadow was going to kill him without a second thought, and still, the blue hedgehog had forgiven him, just like that.

Maybe it was Sonic all along who had understood the grey area between the black and white after all; maybe he had had a better understanding of phrases such as 'anti-hero' and 'anti-villain'. Maybe _she_ was the one who didn't get it.

She recalled Rouge's words as well, how the bat had so easily dismissed Shadow's treachery… was everyone willing to make amends except her? After all, she was the only one who had escaped the ordeal unscathed, and yet here she was, the most difficult to appease.

She was dimly aware that Shadow was still speaking. "I thought after all was said and done, after I had achieved my ends, I would be able to explain it… that you would understand fully in the end."

"He forgave you," she said suddenly, shifting uncomfortably before him. "Did you know that? You were just going to _kill_ him, just like that, and he forgave you anyway." She sat down on the hospital bed beside him, barely aware of what she was doing. "Had you actually gone through with it, I couldn't have. I would have hated you forever."

"Then I'm glad I wasn't able to," Shadow told her honestly. He lifted his hand, moving it as though to put it on her shoulder, and she stared at him. He seemed to lose his nerve then 

suddenly, and let it drop down again into his lap. "I never want to lose you, Amy. I want you here with me, always. I really do love you."

"But you love her, too," Amy said sadly, shaking her head. "And that's the problem." She suddenly pulled out the DNA sample Sonic had nicked from the battleship before it had been incinerated. She handed it over to Shadow, deliberately avoiding his gaze, and the onyx-furred hedgehog appeared shocked.

"But… how…?"

"It's from Sonic," she told him, looking away. "He wanted me to give it to you."

Shadow appeared even more surprised. He cradled the sample delicately in his arms, the way a mother would hold a newborn child. The display of absolute reverence and adoration sickened her, but she tried to refrain from throwing him a look of disgust.

"Tell him… I'm grateful," Shadow murmured.

"Tell him yourself," Amy said, folding her arms across her chest as she stared pointedly at the wall.

"Amy, look at me." And suddenly his hand was on her shoulder, pulling her toward him. Amy reluctantly turned her head to acknowledge him, finding his gaze especially difficult to meet. Those ruby orbs did funny things to her, and she wasn't sure how to feel, faced with such obvious sincerity. Shadow had sat the dish down on the bedside table beside him, instead focusing all of his attention on her. "Had it been you, in her stead… if it was you that was missing from my life… I would have risked it all, as well. I would turn my back on the world, just to be re-united with you again."

_And you say you're not good with words_, Amy thought irritably. _Who thought a freak would be able to recite such poetry?_

"Shadow?" Amy asked against her better judgment. "What do you see, when you look at me? Do you see her?"

"Sometimes," he admitted quietly. "But mostly, I see you. And it's these parts that I love the most."

_Will I ever come first? _Amy thought sadly. _Or will I always be walking in her shadow?_

"Amy… can you ever forgive me?" Shadow asked her suddenly, the words eerily familiar as he watched her. "Knowing that I've committed horrible crimes? Knowing that I may commit more?"

_How can you use that against me? _Amy wondered internally, but the words had Shadow's desired affect – she suddenly _understood_. She realized that this was what he had been trying to tell her all along, although not in so many words. Hadn't he told her several times that he was an awful person? Hadn't he told her that had committed heinous crimes in the past, and that he was bound to do more? And hadn't she told him that it was okay, and that she loved him regardless? He had been trying to convey to her a message all this time; he had been trying to express to her the magnitude of the situation without actually putting it into literal words. He had been warning her since day one, and she had dismissed it.

And here she was, after reassuring him that it was okay; three days later, and she was so determined to hate him. But she had _known._ Was that really fair, then?

She felt the righteous anger washing out of her, replaced with a sudden remorse. "I forgive you, Shadow," she whispered. An expression of great relief crossed his face and he grew more relaxed, even _radiant_, at least by his standards.

"I love you, Amy," he told her.

"I love you, too," she said softly, and he smiled – the first real, genuine smile he had ever given her. It seemed strange, out-of-place, comical even. Shadow was just someone who shouldn't smile. She could have laughed at the absurdity of it.

"Let's leave this place," he told her, grinning that same maniacal smile. "Let's just get up and _leave_. We'll – we'll go to the beach, and we'll just live there, right on the sand, all by ourselves. Let's just go away, forever."

"Shadow, we can't."

Shadow shook his head. "What is your infatuation with the city, anyway? It's over-populated, filthy, smelly, full of ignorance, and polluted. But if you're determined to stay, we can. I suppose I could put up with it, for you."

"You don't get it, Shadow," Amy told him. "That's not what I'm saying. Listen to me: there is no 'we'. There is only you… you and Maria."

Shadow's face fell. "But you said…"

"I _do_ love you, Shadow," Amy told him earnestly, taking his hand in her own and putting it up against her chest, right where her heart was beneath her dress. He could feel its beating beneath his fingertips. "I love you more than you'll ever know. But you know what? Coming in second sucks. And that's all I'll ever be to you: number two."

* * *

Sonic was waiting for her downstairs. He was leaning against the wall by the nurse's station, arms folded across his chest and tapping one foot. When he saw her, he drew himself up to his full height and eclipsed the threshold of the room, meeting her halfway. His expression was one of genuine concern.

"How'd it go?"

"It went… okay," Amy said, not really all that eager to discuss what had transpired in Shadow's room. Sonic seemed to sense her reluctance to speak on the manner, and perhaps he didn't want to know all the details anyway, afraid of what it might mean.

"You alright, at least?"

"No," she admitted honestly, and he swung an arm around her, pulling her into a familiar sideways hug. She leaned into his warm embrace, feeling his love for her wash over him, creating a protective shield that could not be penetrated. With him, she was safe; with him, nothing could harm her. The immediate pain seemed to diminish a little, residing in the warm comfort of his secure, steady hands "But I will be. Thanks, Sonic."

"'S what I'm here for," Sonic told her simply, and for a moment they simply stood there, content to simply enjoy the feel of their shoulders pressed against one another. It was a moment before anyone spoke. "Hey, Amy… whatcha got planned for the rest of the day?"

She looked up at him curiously. "Nothing. Why?"

Sonic shrugged. "Well, I just don't want you just sitting at home and sulking or anything, you know? Shouldn't waste a pretty day like this." He gestured out the window with his free hand, where the streets were bustling with activity. "How about we catch a movie or something? Get a bite to eat with the gang?"

"Sonic," Amy said, leaning further into him. "That's the best idea I've heard all day." And the two of them headed through the sliding glass doors into the world beyond, where the sun was bright and the sky was clear and blue.


End file.
